Lots of AMAZING News to Share...

Lots has happened since I last posted. I guess I sometimes overbook myself and find that the time has flown, so I'll try to consolidate all the good news into one post:

Success Story
Some of you probably recall my post from earlier this year - before we started this most recent cycle and were in "backup plan" mode and started pursuing adoption. We brought our profile book to a group dinner (because several of the couples who attended knew about our plans already) and another couple shared with us that they were pursuing adoption too.

Well, they got THE CALL on Wednesday!!! A birth mother chose them and the baby is due in TWO WEEKS!!!

I am sure they are in "scramble mode" and a bit overwhelmed right now, but I also know they'll make it through - and I am ecstatic for them!

They are going to make WONDERFUL parents - they are very active (hike, camp, bike) and this child is going to have an EXCELLENT life.

Meet Ellie
In another recent post, I shared how it was time to let go and send our 15-year-old lab mix to go to heaven. We miss her, but also know it was the right choice at the right time.

This weekend, we found our next forever "baby" at our local shelter - a six-year-old black lab mix who is 100% love!

She is fully housebroken, trained and simply a PERFECT dog. She didn't even whine or cry the first night we brought her home. We decided to name her Ellie. Even though she doesn't know her name yet, she does know how to come, sit, down, stay and shake (and maybe even a few other tricks we haven't figured out yet).

Ellie has a very different personality than our previous black lab mix - the best way I can describe it is to say that they are both special in their own way.

I can't, for the life of me, figure out why she ever became a stray. She was clearly deeply loved and she doesn't seem to be the kind of dog who would run away on her own. So far, I can only imagine that someone died, maybe was sentenced to jail, or got into a financial pickle and couldn't afford the shelter surrender fee. I guess we'll never know - but it doesn't matter because we won the lottery again and she's ours now!

My 12-year-old lab still hasn't warmed up to her, but I am sure he will given enough time. It's completely understandable since she's on his territory.

Twinkie Update
Yup, those were definitely kicks I was feeling in my last post. They've become stronger and happen at least once a day now. At one point, I think one of the babies was playing bongo-drums on my tummy.

I went for an ultrasound last Friday and both twins look great. At this point, they said they're too big to measure or get a full "body shot" into one frame. This time the nurse zoomed in on each of their hearts and we could see each of the four chambers.

Baby A was facing toward my back - so no good pictures, but Baby B decided to be photogenic:

(PICTURE COMING SOON)

My belly is now getting bigger by the week.

The nausea still comes and goes, but that's ok. It's all still s'wonderful!

A couple weeks ago, my nurse asked me how I was feeling. I don't like to complain, but was honest that I was still very tired and needed to slow down. Consequently, she gave me two choices - begin to work 6-hour days or work from home two days a week. I gave my boss the option and she immediately said she wants me around as long as possible and convinced our local CEO to allow me to work from home two days a week. It's been FANTASTIC. On a night like last night where I woke up at 3 am feeling very nauseous and couldn't get back to sleep until about 5 AM, that extra sleep definitely helped me function.

Today, my boss finally asked what my plans were after the kids were born and I was very candid with her. I explained that I can't keep working the hours I am now and expressed that I do want to come back, but I hope this work-at-home arrangement is considered a "trial" that will continue. She was relieved to hear that, and we are going to work together to start planting the seed with the local CEO. Hope things work out...

I have been talking to my massage therapist (who I have known for five years, used to work in a day-care center and was a nanny taking care of four kids - two newborn twins and two older kids). We still need to work out the details, but I think she's going to come work for me three days a week. It's really an ideal situation. My house is right around the corner from her office - so she can still continue with her massage therapy too.

So, that's the scoop...

Kicks?

Time for a post-weekend update...

I grew again...

Tried to put on a pair of shorts I wore about 3-4 weeks ago. No way - the button was about 2" apart. I hope that after the birth, I'll be able to wear "normal" clothes again.

The car seats and two extra bases we ordered last weekend came in - so we picked them up on
Saturday. On one level I know this pregnancy is real, yet on another I feel like I am living in a fairy tale and one day I'll wake up in a poof of smoke and be taken back to my "real" life.

This weekend, I definitely started feeling something that I'd describe as a cross between butterflies, gas bubbles and twitches. I hope these are the babies moving...but could be indigestion too. Next OB / ultrasound appt is on Friday, so
I guess we'll confirm then.

Balancing Work and Motherhood

At this point I am not sure what I am going to do about returning to work after the twinks are born. I do know that these babies are going to be the second most imoprtant things in my life (right behind my husband), and when the time comes to cross that bridge, I will know what to do.

My boss has made it clear that I am valuable to her team, she wants to hang on to me as long as possible and is expecting me to return.

Our on-site CEO isn't as savvy though. He sequesters himself in his corner-office all day and, although he communicates with his direct reports, he is far out-of-touch with his employees.

He has very little understanding of what I do and the value I bring. Although my responsibilities include supporting his division, because I don't report to him, he does not comprehend the intricacies of my position. I think he sees me as a "worker bee" who can easily be replaced - no true. I have no doubt he may realize this when I am out on maternity leave.

As for returning, it's all going to depend on how willing my company and site CEO are willing work with me. My goal is to work fewer hours overal and possibly negotiate a four-day work week. I think my boss would be open, but she's going to have to convince the site CEO - so it may be a tough sell.

Saw this article today about the work/life/mom balance and thought it put a good perspective on moms in the workplace.

What are your thoughts?

What have I learned from IVF?

Today I wanted to share some wisdom I’ve gained from my experience...

1. I have minimal control over the ultimate outcome, but some things I can control in the IVF process include:

• Keeping a positive attitude
• Being kind, considerate and showing my gratitude to others
• Take my meds, as prescribed
• Trust the professionals – no matter how much I doubt their directions or advice

 2. Being in “ignorant bliss” is sometimes the very best place to be. Live in the moment.

With the internet and a wealth of information at our fingertips I was always trying to predict my future. For example, as soon as I got the call from my nurse with my beta numbers, I jumped online to check the beta board. When my nurse told me they changed their policy and now only take two betas, I was upset because I wanted “the numbers” to prove everything was ok.

Looking back, would having more HCG tests have changed my reality? No. But one very possible outcome would have been to see the number not increase as fast as I would have preferred, or even drop – both of which would have put me in a panicked tailspin.

Seeing our babies heartbeats for the first time was one of the most miraculous moments of my lifetime. It was a place we’ve never been before and a moment I could have stayed in forever. For the next two weeks, I just wanted to stay right where I was and not go for another ultrasound. I just wanted to assume everything would be wonderful. I now have that experience permanently burned in my mind and it reminds me to appreciate and savor the moment.

3. It’s only money. We’re changing our lives.

During the process, when I asked my husband how he can rationalize the huge piles of money we were spending on IVF he said to me “Yes, we can take some nice vacations and buy a nice car, but in the big picture, this money isn’t going to change the way we live. Having children is something we’re going to have the rest of our lives. We can always make more money, but we can’t change history.”

4. This is MY journey. Trust myself.

As much as I sometimes want to compare experiences to other women, this is MY life and “our” pregnancy. I have given myself permission to form my own opinions and the option to follow or respectfully ignore other people’s advice.

My life is about to go through monumental changes and on a daily basis I am going to be faced with more decisions than I ever have in my life - some tiny and some significant.

One day, I had an epiphany – my Dad and Mom both did (and still do) the best they know how. Ever since this hit me like a pile of bricks, I have had a much different relationship with them. They still offer me their input constantly, but I am ultimately the one standing at the easel with the paintbrush in my hand who gets to “paint my life” and make my own creation!

Looking back, I had to make a BOATLOAD of decisions along our IVF journey. Know what? I did it and look at “us” today!

5. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

Long before I could ever imagine having children, I was talking to a co-worker who had a baby and was going on a business trip. I said to her “Tina, you are going to leave baby C with your husband for five days? Doesn’t that make you nervous?” She said to me, “Let’s think about it – pizza has vegetables, wheat, cheese – it’s not the worst meal in the world. So, he’s a little dirtier than I prefer when I get home? No problem, I take him into the shower with me when I get home and we have fun making hairstyles from bubbles. He stays up a little later than his bedtime and is cranky? Guess what - he’s not playing in the Super Bowl nor making any Supreme Court Decisions the next day.” I don’t think Tina realized it, but that one three-minute conversation changed my life.

A couple weeks ago I asked my husband to pick our pediatrician. Yes – the kid’s doctor is going to be a critical part of our team. But you know what? If we agree that we don’t like our pediatrician, we can change our minds. Small stuff...

Top 10 Things I Love About Being Pregnant

1. No period
2. No period
3. No period
4. No period
5. No period
6. No period
7. No period
8. No period
9. No period
10. No period

(Did I mention I love not having a period? I haven't touched a sanitary pad or tampon since March! Hope menopause comes soon - without the hormonal side-effects.)

A 20 Week Update

Where did the time go? How can I be in my 20th week already? Are our twinkies really going to be here in about four months?

All those months we were waiting for the never-seemed-like-it-would-ever-happen day to see a heartbeat, the time went by so slowly. Ever since we saw those two amazing heartbeats and I knew that everything was going to be ok, time has been on uber-fast-forward for me.

The littlest things make me giddy these days...

As most of you know, my sister has an 18-month-old boy (and another on the way in early September). In his room is a GIANT teddy bear that he loves to grab a book, cuddle up against and fall asleep. Last Sunday, we were at COSTCO to do our weekly shopping and guess what I found for the nursery? A giant dark-brown plush bear! I carried that bear so proudly through the entire store and kept telling my husband that I can't believe we found "the bear"!!! I am sure everyone was looking at me like I was a pregnant nut-case!

I had another u/s on Friday and my nurse was very pleased with my progress. The babies weren't in the best position for the u/s, but my cervix was low and closed (yay!) and the babies were measuring on-track for their due date. They're now about 9" and weigh .5 - .75 lb. each. Their heads are the size of a tangerine.

I still can't feel them kick, but maybe that's because I'm tall and they have room to grow. My nurse didn't seem too concerned - she wants me to feel them at least once a day by week 24. I know they're in there - because my belly keeps getting bigger, and bigger and bigger.

I'm still battling morning sickness - but it's ok. I do have my "good days" too.

My feet are swollen and get numb sometimes - so my nurse put me on support hose. Since it's too hot on the weekend to wear long pants, I am wearing them today with shorts and sandals. I'm sure they look ridiculous, but I don't care because the minute I put them on, I felt much, much better. Shopping hint: Sears sells a brand that works great at a fraction of the price of the "medical hose". In reading the reviews, lots of men admitted wearing these hose because they work on their feet all day and these hose help them stay comfortable.

Time to start getting ready for Monday morning...

Hope all my readers have a wonderful week!

Twinkie, Inc.

Do you realize that having kids is like running a business - with Mom and Dad as joint CEOs? You need to hire a team, draw up contracts, budget, etc. As someone who hates to procrastinate, I have been busy making preprations for the twins arrival.

1. This past weekend we interviewed two post-partum doulas (or what's sometimes called a "baby nurse") to work with us after the babies are born for a few weeks to try to help me recover and begin to get them on a "schedule." (Ok. I admit that I don't know what I don't know - so some of you more experienced moms can stop laughing now). We scheduled some more interviews for later this month and hope to have made a decision by early August.

2. In our family, it was always assumed that we would go to college. We didn't even question it, as it was as natural to us as brushing our teeth or taking a bath. Fortunately, my parents were able to send us to college and we both graduated debt-free. I hope we can do the same for our children. I looked at some online calculators and it estimates we would have to put $600-$800/month for EACH child to cover the costs. What?! Don't think that's happening - so maybe I will have to lower my expectations.

Last week, we received a nice-sized refund from CCRM / FLC - so we agreed to split it between the kids and open a college savings account for each of them. I found this helpful website - www.savingforcollege.com. Did you know that you can open a plan in your own name now before your children are born and just transfer over the balance later? I am leaning toward a 529 vs. a Coverdell account because there is a $2000 annual limit on the Coverdell account and when the money becomes the property of our children, they don't have to spend it on education.

3. We still need to make an appointment with a lawyer to update our wills. Lots to think about on that front, but at least we have it on our radar.

4. I delegated hiring a pediatrician to my DH. I will go on the interviews he sets up, but fully understand that when I asked him to do this, I relinquished control and need to trust his judgement and support his final decision 100%.

5. Enrolled for Infant CPR - check!

6. I just started taking baby steps into thinking about child care. I feel very strongly that I do not want to put my children into day care. On the other hand, it financially makes sense for me to keep my job (at least part-time if my company is flexible enough to work with me - which I think they will be) - so I have started to think about a nanny. Fortunately, over the past five years I have gotten to know my massage therapist very well. She used to work in a day care center, as well as a nanny for many years. She even took care of a set of four kids where two were twins - so she has lots of experience. She probably needs to update her CPR certification, but we talked about her coming to provide part-time care. I would need to hire someone else to do the days she does massage therapy.

7. I know I need to start thinking about a "birth plan" - but I am not even sure that I know what that is. I know I want to have a c-section and I know that I am all in favor of drugs vs. pain. Other than that, I'm not sure what I need to think about. Help please...

Anything else I am forgetting so far?

Guess What Today Is?

Nuff' Said!