Does My Friend Know Something We Don't?

This was posted by my friend as her Facebook status today. Wondering if she knows something we don't. ;o)

This Sunday (November 6) at 2:00 a.m., Daylight Savings Time will end. The good news is that we get an extra hour of sleep when we turn our clocks back. (The official time for turning clocks back is 2:00 a.m.) On the day that DST ends, we have two 2:00 – 3:00 a.m.’s; on the day that DST starts we do not have a 2:00 – 3:00 a.m. at all.

Here’s something cool … twins born a few minutes apart on the day DST ends can (apparently) have their birth order changed. If Baby A is born at 1:59 a.m. on Saturday, November 6 and Baby B is born 7 minutes later, officially Baby B’s birth time is 1:06 a.m. that same day.

Just in case you’re interested, when DST starts, twins born a few minutes apart can appear to be born an hour apart. If Baby A is born at 1:59 a.m. and Baby B is born 7 minutes later, officially Baby B’s birth time is 3:06 a.m.

L'Chaim - We Have a Due Date!

Sometimes, we lose sight of things and don't even know it...

For the past several weeks, I had been wishing that the Twinks will be born on 11/11/11. Not only is it an easy date to remember, but it's Veteran's Day (What better way to honor the men and women who served and allow us to continue to live in this beautiful country in freedom?), it's my mother-in-law's birthday, and on a more selfish note, since family does not live near us, it would be easier to travel to celebrate birthdays because it's early enough before the "high" season for Thanksgiving airfares (What can I say? That's why I'm "Flygirl" - always thinking about travel and my next big adventure).

When I talked to my nurse this week, she said that the doctor would like me to go a full 38 weeks and prefers the date of November 18th. Although I trust my doctor's judgement, I was a bit disappointed because I was so focused on the "perfect" date of 11/11/11.

Today, I went to morning minyan services (a small, intimate Shabbat morning service where we read the Torah). I mentioned the date of November 18th to one of the other women who I am getting to know and she reminded me the meaning of the 18 in Judaism...I had totally forgot!

In Hebrew, the number 18 is "Chai" (חַי) and means "alive" or "living." To Jews everywhere, the number eighteen resonates deeply - as does every multiple of eighteen. Some say Chai refers to the Living G-d; others say it simply reflects Judaism's focus on the importance of life. There have been various mystical numerological speculations about the fact that, according to the system of gematria, the letters of chai add up to 18. For this reason, 18 is a spiritual number in Judaism, and many Jews give gifts of money in multiples of 18.

It consists of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet Chet (ח) and Yod (י). Among all Jews, both religious and secular, the toast לחיים ("l´chaim"), which means "to life", is frequently used when celebrating something, such as one of the high holidays, birthdays, weddings etc. You might have even seen women or men wearing a necklace with this symbol, be familiar with the song from Fiddler On the Roof  L'Chaim,

Chai is also a popular root word in Hebrew names. Chaya, derived from Chai is a popular female name in Hebrew, and Chaim is the very popular male version. The biblical Eve's name is חַוָּה ("Chava") in Hebrew, also derived from the same root as Chai.

As I was first getting to know my Rabbi, he gave me a very special gift - a book called Three Times Chai - 54 Rabbis Tell Their Favorite Stories by Laney Katz Becker.

As Laney states, she wrote the book during:

"...my struggle to find a way to celebrate life at a time when a series of health crises left me feeling lost, angry, sad and - in spite of tremendous support form my loving family and amazing friends - very much alone. In truth, I also felt abandoned and even betrayed; where was God?"

As a woman struggling with (or who has ever faced the uncertainty of) infertility, does this sound familiar? It certainly does to me!

In the book, fifty-four rabbis, from all branches of Judaism, tell their favorite stories—classic Bible stories, rabbinic and modern commentaries, folktales, and legends. Each story, ranging in length from one to seven pages, reflects a Jewish ideal or value and is told in the individual rabbi's unique speaking style. Each concludes with a note from the contributor explaining the story's lesson and why it is the rabbi's favorite.

To me, the book was just like a box of chocolates - at first I wanted to read every story straight through, but I quickly realized that it was a book to be savored and enjoyed - so I disciplined myself to read one story at a time and think about it's meaning. It's also a book I know I will share with my children when they are old enough to begin to understand some of the stories, and come back to again-and-again.

Ever since I received this gift, it has been displayed on a bookshelf near my bedside. I didn't think anything about it until today.

I now think November 18th is a beautiful delivery date and I can't imagine any other!

A Moving Story About IVF

This story, that I came across while surfing the internet about raising kids conceived as a result of IVF as Catholic, was too beautiful not to share. Enjoy and Happy Friday!

And here is my God story:

We were starting our first IVF cycle when my BIL passed away at age 38 from year long battle with ALS.  Ten days after his funeral was my ER.  When DH came in to the recovery area, I told him that Brian was with me.  DH tried to remind me that Brian had died.  I said I knew that.  I explained that Brian was there with me and he said that we shouldn't be sad anymore because he wasn't in pain or suffering anymore.  And we shouldn't worry about anything either because all would work out as God intended.
Guess what?  I got a BFN.  I was devastated to say the least.  We scheduled the FET for 3 months later.  Finally my BFP!  And you will never believe our ODS EDD and B-day - one year exactly from the date of Brian's death.  Dominic Brian is our miracle gift sent straight from Heaven.
When Dominic was 3 yrs old (he has gifted/talented tendancies) we were talking about his cousins and how Brian had died.   I said, "Dominic, your uncle Brian was an amazing, kind man that would have done just about anything for anyone.  I wish you could have met him."
Dominic turned to me and said, "I know uncle Brian.  We talked all the time before he told the angels to send me down from Heaven to be with you."

34 Weeks - Delivery Getting "Real" and Waiting on a Date

This week was busy one...

When we were first convinced that this pregnancy was going to "stick", one of the first things I purchased were our car seats - Chicco Key-Fit 30 in Graphica:

After all, you never know how soon the babies would decide to make their appearance into the world...

On Saturday, we signed up for a "clinic" at our local hospital to learn how to install the car seats properly. The instructor gushed over the model we purchased saying how much he liked it - so I guess we did something right! It was actually much easier to install the bases and seats than I thought - and now I feel prepared on that front.

In other news, a co-worker of mine (who works at our headquarters site) and his partner were expecting a baby girl in mid-December. On Friday, I got an e-mail saying their daughter was born that morning (no other details - so I have to assume the baby is ok). Although my mind knows this, when I saw the email it suddenly hit me like a ton-of-bricks that our babies can be born at ANY moment now. I am not sure why that email had such a great impact on me, but it did...it made our impending delivery "real".

Doctor Appointment Update
My doctor's appointment went great yesterday! I had a comprehensive ultrasound and the Twinks are doing fabulous! Baby A (now head-down on my right and the more active of the two) is weighing in at 5 lbs and Baby B (still with their head in my left rib and feet under my belly button) is at 5 lbs 4 oz.

My blood pressure was a little low (but still normal) and I lost 4 lbs, which means my total weight gain during the pregnancy is still hovering around 25 lbs total. The nurse still thinks it's water weight, so she's not concerned about the weight loss. My Heparin challenge tests all came back great - which tells them I am on the correct dose.

I am still dealing with severe nausea (Sunday night I was tossing-my-cookies all day and for 30 minutes straight before I went to bed), so they switched my nausea med to Promethazine (generic Phenergan). It's a medication that's also used to treat allergies, so it makes me tired. That's ok though - I'd rather be tired than nauseous. Interestingly, one of the side effects is nausea / vomiting. Go figure...


I think I've started having contractions this week - but not enough to start counting or timing.

We put in a request for a delivery date of 11/11/11, but it's not looking good. The one doctor on-call that day is the head of the practice (they usually have two doctors) and, because he is THE BEST Maternal Fetal Medicine OB in the city, he is in very high demand. It would be the equivalent of requesting Oprah to deliver your baby if she were an OB. Since I will only be 37 weeks, he may push me back a week - but the nurse said he likes delivering multiples, so maybe we we will get lucky and he'll agree to take my case. Fingers crossed for good news tomorrow. Even if they agree to an 11/11/11 delivery date, it doesn't mean the babies will wait until then. It just means that I will have a definite "end date." Will update with a firm delivery date as soon as I know more.

I asked the nurse about life after birth and one thing that I didn't realize is that even if I don't have to get up to feed the babies, I will still need to pump about every 3 hours for the first several weeks. I am sure this is easier than having to feed / diaper them too, but was hoping I could get a good 5-6 hours sleep. Oh, the sacrifices we make...(and this is just the beginning)!

Week 34: Yin & Yang

This week, the Twinks were Yin and Yang - Baby A (on the right who was usually lying horizontal across my lower abdomen) is now head down near my right hip, feet up in my right ribs. Baby B is head up near my left ribs and feet bent in an "L" position under my belly button. Occasionally, I will feel movement under my belly button and suddenly let out a gasp because I am sensitive there. I am sure it has startled my husband on more than one occasion.

My stomach has grown yet again, but between last week and this week something changed because my entire belly suddenly became hard. I suspect they grew and it's getting cramped in there. My bladder has less room and, once again, the kicks are getting stronger to where you can see my belly move (but are still not painful in any way).

My weight stayed stable this week (don't understand how, considering I have still been carb-loading), blood pressure was still normal, no signs of contractions and I am still battling SEVERE morning sickness, back pain and exhaustion most days. It's all good though...since I know it will be over in a flash!

I woke up multiple times Monday / Tuesday night sick-to-my-stomach, and yesterday (Tuesday) I didn't even feel like getting out of bed (but I did make it to LabCorp to take another Heparin challenge test). Last night the nausea was so bad again that I made a midnight trip to the drugstore to pick up Unisom Sleep Aid, and that finally mitigated my nausea and let me get some sleep.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I still have not packed my hospital bag. Maybe I am in denial? Maybe just no energy? Not sure why...

I have a comprehensive ultrasound and Dr. visit scheduled for next Monday (October 24) where they will measure the babies, estimate their weight and give me a date for my c-section.

My Dad suggested I call the hospital to ask if I will have a private room after delivery and I said that I thought so - based on the hospital tour we took several months ago. Just to be sure, I called and talked to a wonderful woman named Carolyn who has worked in the Labor & Delivery unit for 35 years! I think she almost laughed when I asked - as she said "They don't do shared rooms anymore! Even Denver Health (where most of the women are on Medicaid) have private rooms." Good to know!

Epigenetics
Now that we're getting close to a delivery date, I have started to wonder what the Twinks will look like physically. As many of you know, we used donor eggs and only got to see childhood pictures - so I have no idea what our donor looks like today. Based on these pictures, she looks very much like my first cousin on my Mom's side, but bears little resemblance to me.

A long time ago, I started to read about Epigenetics - which basically says that even though the DNA is set as soon as the sperm fertilizes the egg, because the embryo was carried in my uterus - I have an influence on our children. In other words if, hypothetically, the donor had gotten naturally pregnant by my DH, the kids would be different.

As I did my search this time, I came across Dr. Paul Knoepfler's post about stem cell Epigenetics that puts it in "layman's" terms:

http://www.ipscell.com/2011/09/a-laymans-guide-to-stem-cell-epigenetics-if-you-dont-understand-epigenetics-you-dont-understand-stem-cells/

In addition, I e-mailed him to ask his opinion:

Hi Dr. Knoepfler,
I am an IVF patient. My husband and I used donor eggs due to my age (43) and we are due soon with twins. We are over the moon excited!

In doing a search on Epigenetics, I came across your blog. Thank you for your research and contributions to our medical community. Maybe someday no couple will have to go through the difficulty and disappointment we did until these two miracle babies finally stuck!

I was curious, have you written any blog posts or done any research on how you think me carrying the fertilized embryos in my body could have influenced these babies vs if the donor had carried them in her body?

I realize the basic genetic makeup is what it is, but do you think my body has any influence at all?

Thanks,
Flygirl

Here is his response:

Hi Flygirl,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! These are great questions.

I think there is no doubt that epigenetics plays a huge role in every aspect of human development and health. What this means is that while there is a powerful genetic element to how babies develop, the environment in which a baby develops makes a tremendous difference too.

Another way to put it is that by your carrying these babies in your body you will have definitely put your own motherly "stamp" of influence on them that lasts a lifetime.

This influence can include things related to your diet, your overall health, your physiology, etc.

Scientists also think that there can sometimes be an exchange between mother and baby in utero of cells. What this means is not understood but I always thought it was kind of intriguing in a way that mother and child may swap a few cells. I think this happens more often from the child to the mother...so you can think that most likely you will always carry some of your child literally inside of you by having carried the baby yourself.

Take care,
Paul
 
So, there you have it. If they're anything like me, sugar will be addictive - worse than what I imagine crack cocaine to be, they will have a good balance between their logic and creativity, they will be a bit emotional and have a strong sense of integrity.

A 33-Week Update

Every day is one day closer to finally meeting our little miracle Twinks! Every time I see a small baby or a  set of twins while I am out and about (and I've seen lots lately), I can't wait. But, I also know that staying in-utero is the best for these little guys right now.

Last Saturday, my husband, me and our nanny took an "Infant Safety & CPR Class". The first 2/3 were mostly common sense - talking about the necessity for booster and car seats, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, the back-to-sleep campaign, baby proofing our home, etc. The last 1/3 was how to perform infant and child CPR. This was the part I found most useful because many things changed from when I had taken CPR many years ago.

The twinks kicking up a storm and you can now see my belly move when they move. Their Dad is a black-and-white kinda guy - no "maybe" or "grey" areas with him (which is why I waited until the HPT was definitely two bright pink lines to even tell him I was pregnant). Although I kept putting his hand on my belly where they were moving (usually down very low on my abdomen),  he kept saying he couldn't feel it. Finally, this week, he admitted he felt a kick. He is very stoic, so the picture that comes to mind is a Sandra Boynton furry monster jumping about an inch off the ground with a frown on his face saying "Rah." (I'd post a picture if I could, but I can't find one)

My doctors appointment went well this week. My weight went down 2.5 lbs and my blood pressure was 110/71. They also started giving me stress-tests this week.

As my nurse explained, when the babies are under lots of stress, unlike us - where our hearts speed up, babies' heart rates stay steady. So, they put three sensors on my belly - one to monitor each baby's movements and a third to check for contractions. The heartbeats were consistent with what we had seen in the past - one baby's heartbeat was 10-15 BPM faster than the other's - indicating I may be carrying boy/girl twins. Each time the baby the machine was "tuned-into" moved, I could hear a "scratching" sound on the monitor too. No signs of contractions!

They also switched my blood thinner from a once-a-day Lovenox shot to a twice-a-day Heparin shot. If I were to go into labor while on Lovenox, there is no "antidote" - so they would try to delay me as long as possible for delivery. With Heparin, they can "reverse" the effects and deliver me sooner.

My nurse asked me if I had packed an overnight bag yet and I told her I had not. She suggested I pack one because she said at any time, they could decide to send me to the hospital. Things she suggested I pack include:

Slippers
Robe
Two-piece PJ's (and the hospital gown my Mom made for me)
Personal Care Items (hairbrush, toothbrush, lip balm, toiletries)
Breast Pump (so they can show me how to use it)
Outfit for Each Twin to Come Home

For all you "experienced" Moms out there - anything I am missing from this list?

Yes, we're in the last few weeks and these babies will be here before we know it!

The Find....

I am quickly learning that staying home when you don't yet have a baby (or babies) to take care of is dangerous for the pocket book because I now have the time to scour the web for "necessities" that I see on sale.

For example, I have been told that in lieu of a diaper bag, many women find it easier to use a canvas tote - so yesterday I became aware of a sale at Land's End and found an extra-large, zippered tote in natural and brown (the color I would have ordered anyway) that was half-price at $25! Having a coupon for free shipping made it irresistible - so it's on it's way:

I was also reading a message board about restraining toddlers who are now walking and demand their independence - which also means "running away" from their parents in milli-seconds is a good idea!

The general opinion was that using harnesses for small children was perfectly acceptable - much better than putting any child in danger. In fact, many children feel "grown up" with their "backpack" on.

One woman talked about being in an airport bathroom and stopping a toddler who was in the stall with her Mom, ducked under the door and decided to explore on her own. Fortunately, the woman was able to cut the toddler off at the door while the Mom was pulling up her pants in a panic. Other parents told similar stories about how they had no doubt that having their kids attached to a harness saved their kids lives - multiple times.

Of course, an image immediately ran through my mind of being in a store by myself and having one Twink zig while the other zagged. So, even though we won't need them for at least 18 months, I searched for and saw the following two Gold Bug harnesses for less than half-price and ordered them:

I am also quickly learning that when you see something you really like for your babies, buy it - because you might not see it again. For example, a few months ago I saw a Fisher-Price 2-in-1 Swing & Rocker in Wal-Mart where the swing chair is detachable and converts into a free-standing rocker - so when the baby falls asleep, I could easily carry the baby to where I am working without having to wake him or her up. It was one of the last ones, so I bought it. Sure enough, they haven't restocked it and I haven't seen a detachable swing like it since.

Today, I met friend for lunch and was near my local Goodwill - so I stopped in for a gander. Since it's important for us to have a "library" from which to read to our children starting as soon as possible, I am always on the hunt for inexpensive children's books in good condition. Instead, I found the deal of the of the day! A hand-made ride-on wood horse for $13! The neck has a pin system that allows the toddler to swivel the front half and turn. It's clear some little child was very much loved by his Dad, Grandpa or Uncle (ok, maybe it's not right for me to assume a man made this - I am sure a woman can make this too - but it's comforting me to think about a grey-haired man in his workshop smiling while cutting, sanding, assembling, and staining)...and now our kids get to ride on it! (Can you tell I am excited?!)

If nothing else, it looks great in the nursery right now! Thank you mystery donor...we will LOVE this!

A 30-Something Week Update

It's time for another "me" update...

Well my ticker says I am at 34 weeks, but my nurse said I am at 31.5 weeks - so I am somewhere in the 30's with a due date of mid-November. You pick the week...
Last night I bought myself a last-minute ticket to see the Broadway touring production of "Hair" and Baby A was "singing and dancing" the entire three hours! Could it be that Baby A is a reincarnated "flower child"? Clearly I am now going to have to buy the soundtrack!

To stop working was definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made! If you are like me and are in agony over letting go of work vs. taking care of yourself during your pregnancy, I hope you will do the same. I promise you won't regret it!

While I feel like we won the Power Ball Lottery by being pregnant with twins and do not mean to complain, this pregnancy has taken a bigger toll on my physical energy than I ever imagined. I am still battling nausea most days and just walking the pups down the block requires effort I rarely have anymore. I am still sleeping at night, but having the flexibility to take a several-hour long nap in the afternoon is an activity I need and relish right now!


I set very small goals for myself each day, like running an errand, meeting a friend for lunch, doing a load of laundry, or going to the doctor. Sometimes these goals get done, and sometimes they don't. Either way, it's ok...right now I know I need to take each day as it comes, and there's always tomorrow.

Our current small project is to select a pediatrician. So far, we met with a woman who was a pediatric nurse for many years. She has two grown children of her own and liked what she was doing so much that she decided to go back and get her MD. This impressed me. We appreciated that her practice is close to our home, they have a Saturday am walk-in-clinic and they don't schedule healthy kids at the same time as sick children. Just to be sure we are making the right decision, we are planning to interview at least two more.
So far, things are going excellent. I am still seeing the nurse once-a-week and still haven't had any contractions (at least not that I recognized as contractions).  I was up .5 lb between this week and last week - so my total weight gain so far is 25.5 lbs - below average for twins. I am still within the normal range - so my nurse is ok with my progress.

Within the last few days, the kicks have gotten stronger again - to the point where I can sometimes tell the difference between which baby is kicking. Baby A (which is lower in my abdomen) is definitely more active than Baby B.

I received two more great pieces of news this week - I passed my most recent Lovenox challenge and glucose tolerance tests!


Lovenox is a daily blood thinner I take that helped me to carry this pregnancy in the first place. Each month, they test me to verify my body is processing the drug correctly. Very soon, I will be switching to another blood thinner called Heparin - because the Heparin is easier to reverse when I do go into labor. If I were to go into labor today, they would try to delay it as long as possible to give my body some time to express the Lovenox.
For those of you not familiar with the glucose tolerance test (often called "GTT"), when a woman is pregnant she is still producing insulin, but the insulin and blood sugar no longer know how to "play nice in the sandbox", so the woman has to watch her sugar intake like a hawk.

Since I am at a higher risk for diabetes (my Dad has type I and I started this pregnancy with a few - ok more than a few - extra pounds), I convinced my nurse to do a 30 week GTT. They wanted my blood sugar to be below 130 and last week mine came back at 135. Consequently, I had to do a three-hour test on Monday.


The three hour test involves fasting overnight, taking a baseline blood draw, drinking a beverage that is multiple times sweeter than Coke, and taking my blood at three-hour intervals. If I failed two of the four blood tests, I would have been on a severely restricted diet. Fortunately, I passed all four!!!
Based on these results, my nurse thinks that if I don't start having contractions and the Twinks stay put, I will deliver the week of November 14 and probably not on 11/11/11. That's ok - the longer they stay inside the better (and the faster they will sleep through the night).

Before closing, I'd like to give an extra special shout out to my nephew, who recently sent us a library of all his favorite books! It was such a surprise to open the boxes and see all the books that "Grandma C" has been telling us about like "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus", "Goodnight Moon" and "Spoon" who goes to visit his "Aunt Sliver" every Saturday! We know the Twinkies are going to love these stories too!

Life After Death?

Earlier this week, Carole, who writes an excellent blog called Fertility Lab Insider, had an interesting post called The Ethical Debate: Reproduction After Death where "[she] had the opportunity to work with a hospital ethics committee on a case in which a mother of a teenager wanted to retrieve sperm from her brain dead son."
"In the committee, as on the list-serve, opinions largely adhered to the same two perspectives : individual rights versus the greater good. In the committee case, the boy had suffered a traumatic injury and had agreed to be an organ donor on his drivers license. The mother asked for sperm retrieval to occur at the same time as organ donation. Sperm can be surgically retrieved from the testicles."

All I have to say is EWWWWW.....CREEPY! The article doesn't say what the mother was planning on doing with the specimen...but my mind can certainly jump to a few conclusions.

Twinks - if you ever read this someday, I don't think you'll ever have to worry about Dad or me wanting to retrieve / freeze your eggs or sperm!


This topic reminded me of two cases I had read about previously over the past few years.

In one case, a wealthy business man who froze sperm before divorcing his first wife. His second wife, who was much younger, and this man talked about having children, but he died before they could conceive. The second wife felt the sperm was part of his estate and sued to gain custody of the sample so she could perform IVF and have his child. I don't remember the outcome, but the first wife was most concerned about how additional children conceived using this man's sperm would affect the inheritances of her children from their first marriage.

Another case, which was the saddest of all to me, was a call I heard on a radio show right before Christmas. This 38-year-old guy was diagnosed with advanced brain cancer and only given a few more months to live. His wife, who was also 38, and her family were pressuring him to get her pregnant before he died. He explained that his wife felt her biological clock was ticking and by the time she met another man she wanted to have children with, she would have been to old to have children. He didn't think it was ethically right to bring his children into the world without him as the father - never mind the way he probably felt with advanced brain cancer. In this case, I don't think there is a "good answer".

What do you think?