A Post From a Working Mother...

My husband and I collectively decided after the Twinkies were born that I would return to work.

Having lived through the tumultous economy over the past few years, being at the height of our careers, and seeing talented friends who have been out of work for extended periods of time, it's important to us to have the security knowing that if one of our jobs suddenly end, we will still have income coming in each month.

The one thing that has made returning to work palatable is that my boss obtained a special exception to allow me to work at home two days a week. Even though I don't have much snuggle time with the babies on those days, I do save two hours by not commuting, and I know they're right downstairs if I need to sneak a kiss (by the way, I'm testing the theory if you can kill your kids by kissing them too much...so far, so good).

I always thought that it would get easier the longer I worked, but yesterday during my morning commute, I started getting teary-eyed because I missed them so much. Does this ever end?

Even though F woke up at 5 am screaming like someone told him he would never get to eat ice cream his entire life, I didn't care...I scooped him up, hugged him tight, and assured him everything would be ok. Within 15 minutes, we were both asleep on the couch - his face smooshed against my chest, by his choice.

Since coming back after New Year's, I have been assigned to a project that has required commitment and overtime. Having these new "consultants" join our company will mean an additional $30 mm in revenue - so it's significant and high-profile.

Tonight, is the culmination of months of work. It's when the transfer becomes official. It doesn't mean that the work is done (it's actually probably just beginning), but it does mean that I will have to pull a near all-nighter and be back in the office early tomorrow morning to take care of damage control (there's sure to be something someone forgot along the way).

To ensure things go smoothly and I have the proper Internet bandwith, it's important for me to work from the office vs. home. Consequently, I decided to stay in a hotel tonight so I can get to bed as soon as possible and not have to commute an hour tomorrow.

While I know it's for the best for work and it's not a life-or-death situation, my heart aches to think I will be away from the Twinks for the night...sob, sob, sob.

They are now close to three months and I can't believe how much they've changed. They are just starting to play with toys and smiling like crazy! It's hard to be in a bad mood when you have such happy babies to greet you every morning.

Here are pictures I took on Sunday:

Oooooo...ahhhhh...look at that!

In my surfer-dude shirt and overalls - all ready to go sunbathing! 

Sheer bliss!

 Outfit #2 on Sunday

Outfit #4 on Sunday

If Only They Knew...

We dropped off our van yesterday to get a Bluetooth installed. Instead of waiting at the installation place, we decided to go to lunch, so we went to a salad buffet to kill the two hours.

As we ate and fed the Twinks, about a dozen people stopped by our table
to tell us how cute they were and pity us by telling us how hard it must be having two. One older woman even said she didn't have Grandchildren and she'd love to volunteer.

As I was coming back from the restroom from changing Twink 2, a party at a large table stopped me. It took my brain a minute, but it finally registered the three beautiful red-headed, fully freckled kids looking at us who were about eleven sharing lunch with their parents. The two boys looked like identical twins and their sister was stunning. They asked me how old the twinks were and how much they weighed. When I said three months and close to eleven or twelve pounds, you could see that the kids' heads couldn't picture themselves as 4 lb newborn triplets.

The wonderful thing about this family is how a stranger could immediately tell how much they enjoyed their triplets and how they assured me having multiples only gets easier.

Little did they know that EVERYTHING I do for the babies is out of sheer joy.

I honestly believe that when you work so hard and sacrifice so much to make such a wonderful dream come true, you have an entirely different perspective when you hear that scream night-after-night at 3 am.

Yes, there is ALWAYS a load of laundry to wash, dry and fold, baby dishes to hand wash and sanitize, a mouth to feed, a diaper to change, formula to mix, errands to run.

Know what makes it all worth it? This:

A Valentine's Day Post

When you go through infertility treatments and eventually have kids, your whole perspective on time changes. Instead of "another year gone by", you mark your time by events based on your infertility calendar.

February 14, 2011 was the day I started taking drugs to gear up for my very last cycle. As I broke open the medication pack, I knew it was now or never. I thought it was a good sign that I was starting this last cycle on Valentine's Day, but also didn't want to read too much into it.

I knew I was in for another few months of ups-and-downs. Days living by the alarm on my cell phone reminding me it was time to take another dose of medication, mood swings, moments filled with hope followed by others full of doubt.

I never could have dreamed that I would be holding my son and daughter by November (it still feels amazing and strange to type those words - MY SON AND DAUGHTER - sort of like I am living someone else's life).

Now, every two-and-a-half to three hours, instead of hearing the piano riff of my cell phone telling me it's time for another dose of meds, I hear the whimpers (no, more like screams) of G telling me she's hungry. She still isn't convinced that I haven't forgotten about her. If you were a stranger who came to my door when it's time for a feeding, you might think I never fed her.

F, who was the one always "lounging in his hot tub" in my uterus, is still his mellow, happy self. He has figured out how to smile and has the cutest toothless grin. His favorite game is to hear me count to three and smile. Sometimes he can't wait that long and smiles on "1" or "2". Other times, he puts on a scowl (and knows he's doing it) just to be funny.

Playing 1-2-3 Smile

He has been sleeping through the night since late January. Some tips that I think helped both of them sleep:

1. Dress them in 100% cotton before going to bed

2. Put on a night time diaper (I didn't even know there was such a thing until I bought them accidentally one day)

3. Swaddle them in a SwaddleDesigns blanket. I like these blankets better than the Aden and Anis because they stay closed when baby is swaddled.

4. "Charge their batteries" by cluster feeding them in the last four hours before bed. In other words, smaller bottles, more frequently.

Now that he is three months old, he is just starting to realize his hands are attached to his body. Last night, he grabbed his toy for the first time and pulled it toward his mouth. He also is starting to "coo" more frequently and has one sound that sounds exactly like a high-pitched "Hi". I keep saying to him "F, can you say Hi?" And I swear that one day soon he is going to answer me.

G has also started to learn to smile, though no where near as frequently as her brother.

She is more fussy than her brother and does tend to wake up about every 3rd to 4th night.

Her hair has grown to the point where it can be styled. I asked our nanny to give her a bath the other day and came home from work to find this:

At least there weren't any piercings or tattoos (or none that I've found yet).

She doesn't seem to have colic, but she does spit up alot - so we switched her formula to Enfamil AD on Saturday. So far, no luck - she's still pukey. They did say it may take about a week for her to get used to the new formula though.

We finally went on our first evening "date" in three months without the kids - to see The Marriage of Figaro. I like the opera because every where you go nowadays, people dress casually. The opera is the one of the only places I know where people get dressed up to attend.

Is having twins tough? No, having ANY baby is tough and twins is no more challenging than one. As the parent of an infant, you have to be "on" 24X7. There's always something to do - baby laundry, baby dishes, shop for clothes because they're outgrowing the latest round so fast, purchase baby water and formula, feed a baby, burp a baby, change a baby.

When they have a meltdown and I know they've been fed, changed, and burped and there is nothing more I can do, I feel like a "bad parent." Then, for no apparent reason, they decide to go from 60 to 0 in 2.5 seconds and you know life is good once again.

Yes, they are still in the "blobby" stage where all they do pretty much is eat, sleep and poo. But, seeing how fast they are growing, I am not in a hurry to leave this stage any time soon. They are holding their heads up most of the time, but are not mobile yet (not even close to rolling over).

The last year has been the best of my life and I wish I could do it all again (Did I really just say that?!).