A Valentine's Day Post

When you go through infertility treatments and eventually have kids, your whole perspective on time changes. Instead of "another year gone by", you mark your time by events based on your infertility calendar.

February 14, 2011 was the day I started taking drugs to gear up for my very last cycle. As I broke open the medication pack, I knew it was now or never. I thought it was a good sign that I was starting this last cycle on Valentine's Day, but also didn't want to read too much into it.

I knew I was in for another few months of ups-and-downs. Days living by the alarm on my cell phone reminding me it was time to take another dose of medication, mood swings, moments filled with hope followed by others full of doubt.

I never could have dreamed that I would be holding my son and daughter by November (it still feels amazing and strange to type those words - MY SON AND DAUGHTER - sort of like I am living someone else's life).

Now, every two-and-a-half to three hours, instead of hearing the piano riff of my cell phone telling me it's time for another dose of meds, I hear the whimpers (no, more like screams) of G telling me she's hungry. She still isn't convinced that I haven't forgotten about her. If you were a stranger who came to my door when it's time for a feeding, you might think I never fed her.

F, who was the one always "lounging in his hot tub" in my uterus, is still his mellow, happy self. He has figured out how to smile and has the cutest toothless grin. His favorite game is to hear me count to three and smile. Sometimes he can't wait that long and smiles on "1" or "2". Other times, he puts on a scowl (and knows he's doing it) just to be funny.

Playing 1-2-3 Smile

He has been sleeping through the night since late January. Some tips that I think helped both of them sleep:

1. Dress them in 100% cotton before going to bed

2. Put on a night time diaper (I didn't even know there was such a thing until I bought them accidentally one day)

3. Swaddle them in a SwaddleDesigns blanket. I like these blankets better than the Aden and Anis because they stay closed when baby is swaddled.

4. "Charge their batteries" by cluster feeding them in the last four hours before bed. In other words, smaller bottles, more frequently.

Now that he is three months old, he is just starting to realize his hands are attached to his body. Last night, he grabbed his toy for the first time and pulled it toward his mouth. He also is starting to "coo" more frequently and has one sound that sounds exactly like a high-pitched "Hi". I keep saying to him "F, can you say Hi?" And I swear that one day soon he is going to answer me.

G has also started to learn to smile, though no where near as frequently as her brother.

She is more fussy than her brother and does tend to wake up about every 3rd to 4th night.

Her hair has grown to the point where it can be styled. I asked our nanny to give her a bath the other day and came home from work to find this:

At least there weren't any piercings or tattoos (or none that I've found yet).

She doesn't seem to have colic, but she does spit up alot - so we switched her formula to Enfamil AD on Saturday. So far, no luck - she's still pukey. They did say it may take about a week for her to get used to the new formula though.

We finally went on our first evening "date" in three months without the kids - to see The Marriage of Figaro. I like the opera because every where you go nowadays, people dress casually. The opera is the one of the only places I know where people get dressed up to attend.

Is having twins tough? No, having ANY baby is tough and twins is no more challenging than one. As the parent of an infant, you have to be "on" 24X7. There's always something to do - baby laundry, baby dishes, shop for clothes because they're outgrowing the latest round so fast, purchase baby water and formula, feed a baby, burp a baby, change a baby.

When they have a meltdown and I know they've been fed, changed, and burped and there is nothing more I can do, I feel like a "bad parent." Then, for no apparent reason, they decide to go from 60 to 0 in 2.5 seconds and you know life is good once again.

Yes, they are still in the "blobby" stage where all they do pretty much is eat, sleep and poo. But, seeing how fast they are growing, I am not in a hurry to leave this stage any time soon. They are holding their heads up most of the time, but are not mobile yet (not even close to rolling over).

The last year has been the best of my life and I wish I could do it all again (Did I really just say that?!).