A New Beginning

If you look above, you'll see a picture of F&G and the baby we never got to meet.

Words don't seem to be enough to describe our astounding journey. Just over a year ago, we went from multiple BFN's, four miscarriages and thinking that our only option was adoption to this:

Look very, very closely...it's there. I had to hold it over a light bulb.

to this:

then this:

F

G

and this:

To this:

and this...

and this...

And now we're here...

Today is a very special day because the contracts are now signed, sealed and delivered (ok, technically faxed and in the mail) and some of our remaining embryos will soon be taking an airplane trip across the country to help another incredible family begin to welcome a brand new human being into the universe!

It's as if we get to take the journey all over again (without the needles, headaches, nausea, sleepless nights, exhaustion and all the other "benefits" of pregnancy)...and see the world through amazing glasses that very few families ever get to look through...for the rest of our lives.

Why did we select the family we did?

Well, we put an ad on Miracles Waiting and the response was overwhelming and heartbreaking.

Starting within an hour (no, I am not kidding), we were FLOODED with emails from hopeful parents of every ethnic background, skin color, religion, sexual orientation, economic status, marital length and geographic location  - regardless of the preferences we stated in our post. Women who wanted to carry a baby for their sisters,  mothers who wanted to help their married sons or daughters start a family (yes, really), single women who are very successful in their own right but haven't met the right guy yet, couples who went to Ivy League schools and have great careers but can't have a baby, same-sex couples who are committed to having children, families who adopted twelve children and are fostering seventeen more but still have room in their hearts for another, newlyweds who knew from the moment they got married they couldn't have biological children, couples who wanted to start a second family, people whose children are now looking down upon us from heaven...you name it, we got it.

And the emails just kept pouring in and pouring in and pouring in...to the point where I eventually had to stop reading because they were too painful.

One day, one of my blog readers took the time to email me her story and included a link to her blog. Even though we were complete strangers, her email was brutally honest, raw and written straight from her heart - as if it was written by a dear friend. As we read and corresponded further, we knew this was a family we wanted to seriously consider.

Embryo adoption is an awesome responsibility...one we had not realized the full extent of until we were deep into the process. Thinking about any future children and our accountability to protect them, one of the first things we did (and I hope ANY family considering embryo adoption would do) was a thorough search of the internet. In case there are any families who might eventually read this hoping to be selected for embryo adoption - had we seen too much information made public, items that conflicted with what they had already told us or pictures that didn't align with our values, we would have moved on in a New York minute. Open embryo adoption can be almost like a marriage - whether you like it or not, you are agreeing to be connected to this family beyond your existence on this planet (and vice-versa).

As a military family, they have clearly given so much of themselves and sacrificed so much for OUR FAMILY, our country and our children's future. THANK YOU just doesn't seem to be enough.

Originally, we thought we wanted to select a family without any children yet. As we read her blog and saw the kinds of activities she did with her child - building sand castles at the beach, sledding in the snow, making comfort-food together on a freezing winter day, sitting in Mommy's lap reading books, trips to the rec center to go swimming - it was easy to change our perspective. In fact, it was more comforting to us because it's as if we had a preview of what their future child's life would be like.

They feel as much love, adoration and appreciation for their child as we do for our twins and, even at a young age, are teaching their child about values we hold dear - curiosity, kindness, honesty and integrity (even when it isn't the easiest choice), a love of natural beauty, self-sufficiency and there's no place like home...wherever that may be.

Although we live across many miles, we look forward to welcoming this family into ours and the feelings seem to be mutual.

I am sure there will be more posts as our story continues to progress. Although some of you have probably figured out our connection now...I would like to give her an opportunity to comment on this post and provide her link to you (at which time I will link to it here).

To the future Mommy, Daddy and their child - congratulations and the honor is also ours...thank you for your love, support, patience, honesty and, most of all, creating a wonderful home for your current and future child. We look forward to watching your children blossom into the remarkable adults we know they will become and watching from afar for many, many years to come.

Lots Going On...

Since my last post, I started to write about three different entries...and they're all sitting in my drafts folder. So, I am committed to finishing this one (and will come back to the drafts...or maybe not).

Upcoming Cycles and Congratulations
June seems to be buzzing with exciting activity, so I first wanted to take a moment for a few "personal" shout outs...

A HUGE congratulations to Cinda from Our Lives and her amazing beta! Read about it here:
http://adamandloucinda.blogspot.com/2012/06/finallya-bfp.html

To my few blog readers whose cycles are coming up in July and I've been corresponding with via e-mail or I know IRL, I am beyond excited for you and can't wait for next spring!

To my Gonal-F donor, I was ELATED to hear that you brought home your twin girls earlier this month!

To my CCRM girls whose babies just turned one or will be reaching that milestone in the next 30 days - I have one word...UNBELIEVABLE! Since we live across the miles, please keep the pictures coming...

So much good news!

Telling Kids About Donor Eggs
One question that seems to come up often is how to tell your kids about DE. Carole had a wonderful post on this last week that I've bookmarked for future reference:

http://fertilitylabinsider.com/2012/06/talking-to-your-donor-conceived-child-about-their-conception/

Not sure if you read my blog, but if you do...thank you Carole! The way you generously share your knowledge - both online and off - is astounding and you are a beam of light in this confusing IVF world.

A Quick F&G Update
I feel like we have reached a "setpoint." Aside from growing, the twins aren't really doing anything new.

We've had a string of 100-plus degree days and I can tell the heat saps them of their energy. Typically they go to bed between 8 and 9:30 pm. Last night, F fell asleep in my DH's arms at 7 pm and drank his last bottle with his eyes completely shut. G gets crabby...she fights her hardest to stay awake, but ultimately sleep always wins.

We continue to keep them on formula and pureed fruits and vegetables. We recently introduced peaches...and there is nothing cuter than a baby sitting in their chair in a diaper with peach juice dripping down their cheeks, stomachs and belly.  Summer at it's finest!

Travel
As is typical, we're almost at the halfway point of the year and I've only taken about three days off - so I've started to get serious about making plans. Since I've been with my company for over ten years (and we were originally part of a European organization), my vacation benefits are generous compared to most American companies.

We're planning to start with a short trip to the mountains for a music festival. It will feel good to get out of the heat of the city, but know we're close enough that if we need to come home, it's only an hour away. Looking forward to good music, beautiful views and swimming with the kids.

Next month I am going to be more ambitious and take the kids to NY by myself to visit family. Flying with them to Vegas helped me realize a direct flight to NY was probably possible. Looking forward to all my east coast friends and family finally meeting the twins!

As for a bigger vacation, I've started to think about that too. Since we're not "beach people," the best trip for us right now is a mix of driving a maximum of 2-3 hours per day and stopping at points along our journey. Since the kids fly free until they're two, it makes sense to take advantage of that - so I think another plane trip will be involved too.

While lap children don't collect miles, when I fly alone I have to buy an extra seat - so G is already starting to build up a cache. Yesterday, she received an email welcoming her to the frequent flyer program and a gift of 1,000 free miles if she books a ticket before the weekend. Geez...they have her age on her account...don't they realize she often mis-types her credit card number because pounding the keyboard with closed fists doesn't work?!

That's about it from this end of the planet. Hope you all have an awesome 4th of July!

Have We Turned a Corner?

Just wanted to share some good news...

As many of you know, ever since she was born, G has had trouble holding down her milk. This week I commented to my DH that I thought it was getting better. Now, the last two days, we've seen NO spit up - not even when she burps!!!

We are all doing the happy dance at my house! Yay G!

To all you Moms who have spitty babies, there does seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel!

Seven Months - My Turn Again! (Written by F)

Hi ho, hi ho, it's seven months for us! We've gown so fast, we've learned so much! Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho...

It's me again! I love it when the 11's roll around because it's when I get to take over Mom's computer and talk to all my "peeps!"

Hello Peeps!



Showing off my stripes.

Growing from six months to seven months has been easy.

Last month, I told you that I was starting to get teeth. Today, I finally let Mom take a picture of my pearly whites:

I am working hard on two top teeth and expect they'll begin to peek through any day. Now that it's summer, the smell of steak and corn-on-the cob BBQ'ing on the grill is killing me. HEY MOM, I'M READY! Bring it on!

When I laugh, it's more of an inhale than a belly laugh. I also figured out that I get to control the volume of my voice and I have a natural talent for screaming.

Saying Good Morning to Grandpa

I still like to eat my toes and taught my sister how to do the same. Aren't feet yummy? They should be one of the major food groups.

Talking about food, I LOVE avocados! I could easily eat a whole one all by myself if I didn't have to share. My sister is partial to anything sweet - mangoes, applesauce, blueberries. Just wait until peaches come into season - we haven't tried those yet, but Mom's been telling us about them. Also, both my sister and I now hold our bottles all by ourselves. We've even figured out that we need to tip it up and lean our heads back to get out those last drops of milk.

As usual, on most days I have people to see, places to go and things to do. I jump and I jump and I jump, but I don't seem to get anywhere...

 

My sister prefers to be chauffeured...

Looking pretty in my car seat.

In lieu of jumping, I have become skilled at rolling and can now get from place to place and things I want pretty efficiently. I tried to encourage my sister to roll - and she started to follow my lead by rolling from her back to her belly all by herself a few times, but changed her mind and decided it's still more efficient to raise her legs as high as she can and slam them down to make herself scoot - so she hasn't done it much lately. Mom will put her to bed with her head at the top of her crib, at about 2 am, we'll all hear "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!" and in the morning, her feet will be almost touching the opposite end of the crib.

As for me, the game I made up this month is to make Mom guess where she'll find me in the morning. Sometimes my feet are where my head should be, other times I am on my side, curled up in a little ball with my thumb in my mouth, and other mornings I am in exactly the same position as when Mom and Dad put me to bed.



When I went to bed last night, my head was up by my fish crib-soother.

 Even though my sister has decided to leave the rolling to me:

1. When she is on her belly, she now pushes up on her arms, raises her head very high and kicks her legs. So she'll probably start to crawl before she rolls.



2. She is getting very proficient at sitting up and will probably be doing this before me.

I almost don't need a Bumbo anymore!

Look Ma! No Hands!

Yesterday, we got to see something quite amazing. Mom's good friend always planned to have her Yorkie and Shih Tzu produce one litter- so yesterday we got to see the puppies right after they were born.

I got a little ticked-off when my Mommy told me I couldn't help clean the puppies with my tongue
 like their Mama was doing.

All together there were five puppies - three boys and two girls, but one of the girl pups decided that babies in heaven need puppies too, so she joined them.



Just like us seven months ago - a boy and a girl were the first two pups born!

Play times have gotten more fun too! We started our swim lessons this past Saturday and recently, Mom and Dad took us to the park for the first time. We are still deciding if we like swings...we're not quite sure yet.

 Sometimes, Mom will blow bubbles for us. G looks at them like a deer-in-headlights, but I try to catch them with my fingers, on my nose, on my eyelashes and anywhere else I can. Bubbles make me laugh! 

Bubblehead!

 

With Father's Day coming up on Sunday, we had to do something special. Our Grandpa is going to be so surprised when he goes to his mailbox this week...

Do you think my sister and I have a future as an art team called "Twinkcasso"? Actually, in all honesty, crayons taste better than they work - especially the purple ones!

Well, it's almost my bedtime, so I better sign off. Tonight it's hot, hot, hot - so Mom put me to bed in my diaper with my Cow. When I get to make the rules, I'm going to make sure that on nights when the mercury rises high, everyone can sleep in a diaper with their cow over their shoulder! It's the best!

Good night! Sweet dreams!



Needing Special Thoughts...a Triplet Mom

Recently, I started following M's blog. If you have a moment, please wish upon a star for her three little miracles and keep her in your thoughts too:

http://alwayswishhopethinkpray.blogspot.com/2012/06/scared-22-weeks-4-days.html

Thanks!

Oh What a Night

Where we live, there's a saying - "If you don't like the weather, give it 10 minutes. It'll change."

Normally, weather is one of our best-kept secrets. People think that because we are known for skiing, it's cold, snowy and miserable. Often, my Dad, who lives cross-country, will call and say "Are you ok? I saw on the news you got 3' of snow this past weekend." What he doesn't realize is that the snow fell in the mountains and it was 65 degrees and beautiful in the city.

We average over 300 days of sun per year and the air is very dry - so when it does snow, it is usually light and fluffy and most of us can't wait to get outside to play with our dogs, slide down a hill on a sled or snowshoe. Yippee!

In the summer, however, we can have severe storms and tornadoes that crop up with very little warning. The other day, my DH and I took the dogs and babies for a walk.

Since our older dog can't walk very fast, when we arrive at the lake, he circles around one way and I go the other - so I can pick up my pace and get some exercise. When we meet up, I've typically made it 3/4 around, so he will turn around and we'll all walk home together.

On this particular evening, it was nice when we arrived, but within a few minutes the skies grew dark, it started to drizzle, lightening appeared in the distance and the wind was so strong that it was difficult to stay off the path. Since my DH didn't hear his cell phone, I had to flag down a guy on a bike to catch up to my DH and ask him to turn around. By the time I pushed the stroller home, my face was dripping with sweat from fighting to push the stroller in the wind. Got a great workout - but not the way I would have preferred.

A few years ago, we had a freak storm come through in the middle of July that tore out window screens, broke a couple of windows in our garage, destroyed our roof, and left gashes in paint near our windows - so we had to have quite a bit of repair work done. Everyone's gardens and trees were destroyed for that year and a few years after. In fact, I think this might be the first year in five years that one of our trees produces plums again.

Last night, Mother Nature was on a PMS binge again. Constant flashes of bright-white lightening accompanied by golf-ball sized hail. When the sirens went off, we each grabbed a baby and headed down to the basement to wait out the storm. Friends living just a few miles from us woke up this morning to find "snow" in their yards.

To my surprise, neither baby stirred. They both stayed fast asleep in our arms and weren't even phased by the noise or bright flashes of light. I am so thankful, as I remember being TERRIFIED of loud noises growing up. I would dread July 4th - when Mom and Dad would drag us to our local high school to sit right underneath the fireworks. I can still remember the feeling of the ground falling out from beneath us as our family snuggled together on our picnic blanket.

Glad we got through the storm last night with only a bit of noise and interruption of sleep.

A Special Weekend

Some of you may remember this post:

Today was a very special weekend. The first baby of the "CCRM 9" turned one (and the next two will be celbrating their birthdays next week).

http://ivflygirl.blogspot.com/2011/11/hijacking-post-ccrm-summer-2010-cyclers.html

When I think back to when the six of us started a few years ago - all filled with hope, fear, uncertainty and lighter bank balances - and compare it to where we are now, it's unbelievable. We celebrated the BFPs together, we cried for one-another's disappointments, we leaned on one another when we were faced with difficult decisions and we celebrated one another's successes - from all accross North America.

After I m/c during my first CCRM IVF in Septebmer 2010, one of the things that upset me the most was thinking that I would not be able to share the experience with these six amazing women and need to drop off the board because I would be the infertile "outsider."

The thought of these nine children being tucked into bed by their parents each night and staring up at the same stars sends shivers down my spine. Even though I met only a few of their mom's  and dad's IRL, I hope that one day - maybe at a CCRM reunion - all nine babies can meet and realize how truly amazing it is that they are now our sons and daughters.

To those of you who are still somewhere along your journey, keep the faith. Dreams really do come true! We are living proof!

Happy Birthday little RachelDiana...and thinking of you A&L Twinks! Can't wait to see First Birthday Pictures...and hope I get to see more for years to come!

A Baby's Point of View

I'm usually not into booby jokes, but I saw this on my friend's FB page and it was just too funny not to share...

Happy Friday!