Reflections From a Two Week Old Mommy

Thank you for all your warm wishes and congratulations on the birth of our two amazing miracles! I've been in a constant state of bliss and life doesn't get any better!

As I start to write this entry, the twins were born almost EXACTLY two weeks ago. As a brand new mommy, I wish I had a video camera running non-stop. Every single second is filled with wonderment, fascination and an overwhelming sense of happiness like I've never experienced in my life! (I'm also using many more exclamation points these days).

Picture at birth

Aproximately 10 days old

The twins arrived on a Friday and were PRECISELY 37 weeks. I am extremely thankful for two things:

1. To have carried them so close to "term" of 38 weeks without ANY complications, and
2. To have my energy back and feel like myself again.

(Hope you don't mind me bragging, but on Thanksgiving Day, it was in the upper 60's and we went for our first "real" walk with the kids and our two labs. I made it the full 3 miles - a feat that seemed insurmountable just a few short weeks ago, when I could barely walk to the end of our driveway)!

A Little More About F&G's Names
We didn't tell anyone the names we picked for the twins. Since we didn't know the sexes, we chose two boy's names and two girl's names. No, Fabio wasn't really ever in the running (but it made people laugh when they asked what names we picked).

Each of the Twinks is named after three very, special people...

F is named after my husband's grandfather (Francis), my grandmother (Florence) and my grand uncle (who also happens to be my Grandfather's brother because two brothers married two sisters - Frank). His middle name is "T" after my husband's grandma, Theresa.

G is named after my very good friend Georgiana, who passed away on Christmas Eve in the early 2000's from cancer - she is the person who inspired my love of travel and was always an inspiration. She is also named after my Mom's sister (Geordie) who also passed away from cancer in the early 2000's, and my grandfather, George. Her middle name comes from one of my favorite books - Pillars of the Earth.



Georgiana McCall

May all these very special people continue to R.I.P.

The Birth and Delivery
Realizing that as long as I was in the hospital and there wasn't really anything my husband could do, I told him to go to work - especially since less time in the hospital meant more time at home with us after the babies arrived.

When the doctor came to my room mid-afternoon on Friday to deliver the news that the Twinks lungs were developed enough to move forward with the delivery, I was in a bit of a state of shock because I had assumed delivery would be a week away. I had not had time to mentally process that this monumental event was now mere hours away. I was definitely ready, but it was unbelievable that months of "Twinkie Baking" would be finished in an instant!

When I called my husband to tell him it was "game on" at 4 pm, in his typical stoic nature, he said he'd plan to meet me in my hospital room at 4:30 pm. It's a good thing I've been married to him for so long and immediately understood that he said this because he didn't understand the birth "process". I also know DESPISES waiting around aimlessly. In the end, his timing was impeccable - he arrived about ten minute before they were ready to take me into the delivery room.

When the medical staff asked him if he wanted to change into scrubs and be in the delivery room, he was a bit hesitant, but ultimately decided he wanted to come. I'm glad he did...

First, they wheeled me into the delivery room (which was more like the "emergency room" setting I had envisioned based on TV shows). There was a team of no less than 30 people ready to deliver the babies - no wonder why this country has a medical insurance crisis! I am not sure the role each one played, but I am sure they each had an important role.

The anesthesiologist (who called himself by his first name - "Howard") administered my epidural. Even though I have given myself THOUSANDS of injections over the past several years, I was very nervous about getting needles stuck in my spine. He made me sit on the edge of the bed and had me slump my shoulders - the one time in my life we are supposed to have bad posture.

Once the epidural started to take effect, he put oxygen over my nose and mouth, and had me lie down with my arms out to the side - just like I was being crucified horizontally. Next, a sheet went up, so I could not see or feel anything.

Dr. Bronwyn Kahn and Dr. Richard Porreco were the two doctors who would deliver the twins. As I've mentioned before, Dr. Porreco is somewhat of a celebrity in the field of Maternal Fetal Medicine. Once I was all numbed up, Dr. Porrecio came in. Just like Oprah Winfrey, the entire team worked around him.

The Twinkies with Dr. K

I felt minimal tugging, pulling and and pressure. And, within what seemed like seconds, he announced the first baby was out. He asked my husband if he wanted to announce if it was a boy or a girl - and my husband said "Nah, you do it." Then I heard "it's a girl!" Less than 30 seconds later, I heard cries from a second baby...a boy. That was when I lost it and started bawling hysterically with joy (and, you'll have to excuse me, because I have tears running down my cheeks again, as I type this).

Ok...better now. Thanks Kleenex!

We chose not to find out the sexes until birth. For months, I had been convinced I had been carrying two boys and was utterly speechless when I heard it was a boy and a girl (not that it would have mattered).

They call it the "miracle of birth"...now that I've been there, "miracle" doesn't seem like a big enough word. There should be a word that is more ginormous...because the first time a mother looks at her child,  it's a truly indescribable moment.

I did not realize that my husband took pictures in the delivery room until I looked back at the photos today - but he did!

 

Baby G

Me and F

My favorite time of day was waking up at 5 am, picking up a baby, and cuddling skin-to-skin while watching the sun rise over the mountains. Several times, I have broken out into spontaneous tears.

Hospital Stay
Shortly after delivery, they moved me to room 1107 - where I would spend nearly a week. The private  room was at the end of the hall (so we had lots of privacy) and had a beautiful view of the Denver skyline and State Capitol building.

The mornings were jam packed with people coming by - nurses, doctors and various professionals - like physical therapists and lactation consultants, to monitor me, and a second team of nurses, pediatricians and other professionals, like the hearing-and-speech specialists, to monitor the babies.

During the day, the babies would be with me in the room - and at night the babies would be in the nursery so that I could get a little sleep. I would still wake up several times each night to check on and help feed them in the nursery. All the nurses fell in love with them and F & G were the "hit" of the 11th Floor Mother and Baby ward.

The day before we were supposed to check out, F's levels were low, so they put him under lights to prevent jaundice. Seeing our son under the lights brought out his bleach-blond hair. He loved it so much that I wouldn't be surprised if he tells me one day that he wants to be a professional sunbather.

On what was supposed to be our last day, G's levels were low - so we spent an extra day so that she could "soak up the sun" too.  She kept pulling down her Bili eye-band - so she looked like Catwoman.

Fortunately, they let me stay in the hospital with them as a "boarding patient" - which meant I could spend the night, but I was not under any one's medical care. This meant that if I needed so much as an aspirin, no one in the hospital could give it to me, and I would have had to call my doctor offsite.

Aunt Michele and Uncle Michael sent flowers and a few visitors stopped by - including Dave & Lisa (our neighbors from across the street,  "Aunties" Anne Nelson, Sara Andrew, Jennifer Rosenthal and, of course,  Bubbie Jan.

Auntie Anne

Bubbie Jan

Coming Home and the Last Two Weeks
Our timing for hospital release could not have been coordinated better. "Grandma" Gaga's plane touched down about the same time we got the ok to go home, and Grandpa M's plane was due to arrive a few hours later. As we left the hospital, the first song on the radio was The Ramone's "Blitzkrieg Bop."

Becky, our night doula, arrived right on-schedule the first night to help us take care of the babies and allow Mom & Dad to get a little sleep (although Mom was so excited, that she was up most of the night anyway 0 this adrenaline rush continued for several nights, in fact, but eventually Mom hit bottom and needed sleep to).

We spent the week before Thanksgiving running last-minute errands. We realized we did not have many "newborn" size clothes - especially for a boy and warm enough for winter, since Mom did most of the shopping during the warmer-weather months, so it was off to the stores to search for a new wardrobe (hint to new moms who may be reading this blog - think zippers vs. snaps, especially when you need to change clothes at 2 am).

We also wanted to set up a "station" on our main level so that the Twinks could "live" on one floor for awhile. This involved buying a second changing table (which took hours and hours to find and almost a half-day for Dad and Grandpa M to put together), and rearranging some furniture and other items to have everything required for baby care convenient and within arm's reach.

Overall, the Twinks have been very easy to care for. They sleep an average of 20 hours and, when they do awake, it's for one of only a few reasons - they are hungry, gassy or wet / dirty. They are both very good eaters - G likes to "snack" leisurely and look around the room, while "F" is more of a "gett'er done" kinda baby, usually finishing his bottle - and sometimes more.

The day after we arrived home, Thursday, was their first pediatrician appointment. They both passed with flying colors and each only lost a few ounces between when they were born and their first appointment.

Giving birth is not quite like it is portrayed in Hollywood or the glossy magazines you see as you check out at the local supermarket with your groceries. Your stomach, legs, feet and hands will be very swollen and you will still look pregnant for many weeks. In fact, on Friday my swelling was so bad that I ended up spending most of the afternoon in our local hospital's emergency room due to extreme swelling. Fortunately, they did not find any blood clots and I was sent home in the evening.

Grandma Gaga cooked up a storm while she was here - meatloaf and fresh string beans one night, brisket the next, and Turkey (an early Thanksgiving meal) the night after. Good thing she left us with lots of left-overs since our days are now centered around feeding, pumping, diaper changes and laundry.

F & Grandma Gaga

The Twinkies and Grandpa M

We wouldn't have it any other way!

Parting Words
I know that so many of you who read my blog are still meandering along your road to Mommyhood or Daddyhood. Perhaps you've been where I am now, you're currently expecting, or you're still in that state of purgatory wondering if this will ever work and "Will we ever become parents?"

If you fall into the third group or have doubts, take a look to the left at my history and consider for a moment what it took to finally bring these two children to life. This was not an easy road - years of uncertainty, failure and tears, two international trips filled with hope and desire, four rounds of heartbreaking miscarriages, multiple surgeries, disappointing delays, more needles than I care to think to count (and they're not over yet - four more weeks) and thousands and thousands of dollars invested on a "crap shoot".

Yes, as I sit here today, I feel like I won thePowerball lottery of life, but the outcome could have so easily been different.

During this Thanksgiving and holdiday season, please take time to count your blessings and appreciate the good things in your life.

The two most important men in my life...I love you both!

48 and a Few Hours Old

Thanks for all the wonderful comments on the birth of our two miracles! I am living in a dream and have had an ear-to-ear smile on my face since Friday.

I'm still at the hospital and can't post pictures from my iPad. So, I'll just try to summarize the last few days (or at least as much as I can remember) and post pictures later this week - once we're home.

The Delivery
Once the amnio test confirmed the twins' lungs were mature, the doctors scheduled me for a c-section at 4:30 pm.

First, the nurse came to explain the entire procedure and get me to sign consent forms. It was nice to go through things with a semi-clear head.

Next, the anesthesiologist (he called himself "Howard") came in to ask questions about my medical history and prior reactions to anesthesia. He then explained what the epidural process would look like and had me sign more consent forms. He was clearly very experiencced and had a great personality. I knew I was in good hands.

About 30 minutes prior, Dr. Porrecio came in and briefly went over the c-section procedure. It was clear that he is the "executor" and everything else about the procedure revolves around him. As I said in previous posts, it's like having Oprah deliver these kids - so I imagine things work the same on her set. She shows up to do what she does best, and hundreds of other people address the details.

My DH arrived around 4:30 pm and the nurses started to "prep" me. They had my DH change into scrubs. Never saw him in scrubs before - pretty sexy!

We delivered in the L&D surgery room - so it did look like what I imagined from TV. Operating table, overhead lights, walls lined with medical equipment, everything was sterile, etc. There were no less than 25 people in the delivery room. It was strange to have all that attention. Dr. Porrecio and Dr. Bronwyn Kahn (another doctor in his practice) arrived very last.

They took me into the delivery room first and Howard adminisered the epidural. He had me sit up to give me the initial shots, then I lied down on the operating table with my arms spread to either side. I felt like I was being crusified in a horizontal position. Very quickly, everything below my armpits went numb. They then brought my DH into the operating room, sat him in a seat by my head and put up a drape so I could not see anything below my arms.

I felt some pressure below the curtain, but before you could blink your eyes, one baby was out. They asked my DH if he wanted to announce the sex and he said "no, you do it" - so the next words I heard were "It's a Girl!" Within 30 seconds, the second baby was delivered and I heard "It's a boy!"

They quickly brought F up by my head to show me for a second and the next sound I heard was one of the babies crying. I started gushing tears...not believing what I just heard!

Within seconds, they rushed both babies to the nursery to perform all the necessary tests. My DH said G(Baby "A" who was my gymnast) was quiet and hardly cried, and F (Baby "B" who was my "couch potato") was like a squirmy worm. While the Twinkies were in the nursery, I was being "sewn up" and then taken to a "recovery alcove" to wait with my DH.

About 15 minutes later, we were taken to a recovery room and introduced to our babies for the first time. I was heavily drugged and don't remember much, but I do remember the beautiful sight of seeing them for the first time. I don't know which was more miraculous - seeing their HB's for the first time or seeing them for the first time. They both were equally astounding.

The rest of the evening was spent holding them, feeding them, and in a drugged haze feeling like I was on top of the world.

My DH made some phone calls, but I don't remember much because the next day I kept asking him "Did you call so-and-so?" and him replying "Don't you remember? You talked to them too." No, I don't remember much.

Saturday, November 12 - Day 2
Even though my DH went home (there was no reason for him to stay here with me and our dogs don't do well alone for the night) and the kids went to the nursery, I cat-napped all night. It seems like each time I woke up and asked if the Twinkies had been fed, they either already had or the next feeding was at least an hour away - so I didn't get to feed them that night.

I woke up early and had them bring F in (since he was up too) while G stayed in the nursery. F and I snuggled, skin-to-skin, for a couple of hours (he slept and I smiled and cooed) and it was the most magical time of the day! I am so glad I got to spend the alone time with him.

The day was filled with various medical professionals stopping by - nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, and other professionals stopping by. Between feedings, burpings, snugglings, checking vital signs, pumping, and various other activities, it was a whirlwind of a day, but one of the greatest days of my life.

I remained on a clear-liquid diet all day - meaning I could eat nothing but broth, tea, and italian ices. Fortunately, I was so overwhelmed with joy, I didn't have much of an appetite. Despite being on liquids, my bladder didn't get very full - so the nurse encouraged me to drink more fluids.

Sunday, Novembe 13 - Day 3
By the time I went to bed last night, I was so overtired that I didn't know how tired I was. I woke up in the middle of the night with a FULL bladder and terrible cramps (probably a combination of my full bladder and [hopefully] my uterus starting to contract). They had been measuring my urine and this time I nearly overflowed the measuring cup - so they let me off of that test.

I got up around 5 am again, and this time retrieved both of the Twinkies from the nursery. While F slept in his bassinette, I snuggled skin-to-skin with G. All I could think about was how I still feel like I was living in a dream. We both fell back to sleep for about two hours and didn't move a muscle.

Today was again filled with visits from various medical professionals testing me and the babies.

Both kids passed their hearing tests - where they hook electrodes all over their bodies and play clicking noises in their ears. I can't say I am surprised, based on how they'd wiggle around in-utero any time I was around live music.

Our "normal" OB - Dr. Stettler - was on-call today and came to see us. He said we all looked wonderful and allowed me to take a picture of him with each twin. When I mentioned that I was surprised that it was a boy and a girl, he said "Really? You didn't know?" I replied, "Nope - the only people in the world who knew were you, the u/s tech and the Twinkies themselves."

My DH and I are now getting very good at swaddling, feeding and changing diapers. My DH even reminded me to wipe G from front to back (a detail the nurse said most Dads who have their first daughters forget).

Despite pumping and trying to get the Twinks to latch onto my breasts, my milk has not come in yet. The nurses said to keep at it and confirmed it may take up to a week for it to happen (or it may not, but at least I know I've given it my best shot).

Just as I imagined, my DH is a natural at being a Dad. Even though he is quiet and extremely stoic, the babies bring out the best in him and he talks to them in his witty, but sincere manner. For example, when they cry because he's changing their diaper he says, "Hey, this isn't much fun for me either." He even calls his daughter things like "sweetie pie"! It's so cute.

Both babies have long, lean legs and fingers and toes longer than any I've ever seen on a newborn. The nurses think the babies are going to be tall like their Dad.

Well, it's now 11:30 pm local time - time for another feeding, a sesison with the breast pump, and time to get some shut eye.

Until next time...

A View From the Hospital - They're Here!

Welcome to the world:

Girl - G.A. 5 lbs, 10 oz.; 19.25"; 4:59 pm

Boy - F.T. 6 lbs, 1 oz.; 19.25"; 5:00 pm

Mom and kids are doing great! Pictures coming soon!

A View From the Hospital - Update 4

Several hours have now passed and I have been "hanging out" in bed all day.

It's now about 2:45 pm and the anesthesiologist came in about 30 minutes ago to review his part of the procedure. Most of what he said went over my head, but the most important thing is that I am in good hands and we are going to be pain free.

Dr. P stopped in a few minutes ago to confirm we are all set for 4:30 pm.

Even though we are within hours, it still doesn't seem real. We have waited so long for this moment...it's hard to believe it's here!

My DH is finishing some things up at work and will be here at 3:45 pm. Grandma C and Grandpa S are on standby - waiting for news, while Grandma & Grandpa K have no idea yet and will be called by Dad once the Twinks are born.

Until after delivery...ciao!

A View From the Hospital - Update 3

It's 11:45 am and the amnio is complete and being processed in the lab. As the nurse described it, they withdrew some "baby pee" from Twin B and are testing it for a chemical that indicates lung development. They want the levels to come back between 50 and 100. She also explained that they typically try to draw from the larger baby because the smaller baby knows delivery can happen anytime. The larger baby gets "lazy" so lung development sometimes doesn't happen as rapidly.

I was put on the monitors again and they started an IV - which is good because I haven't eaten since last night (turkey with Swiss on rye with string beans and baked Lays). At least I got some greens down!

Ok, the nurse just came in and said my levels were 76.7 - so looks like it's going to be Twinkie time tonight!

A View From the Hospital - Update 2

It's 9:45 am MT and I just saw Dr. Porrecio (finally got to meet the legend)!

He agreed that it makes sense to do an amino to check lung maturity on one of the Twinks and, if it shows the lungs are mature on one baby, assume they are mature on the other, and deliver this evening.

Stay tuned!

A View From the Hospital (No Twinkies Yet)

On Wednesday night / Thursday morning, I had such severe back pain that I didn't get to bed until 3 am. By 1 pm yesterday afternoon, it hurt so much that I called my nurse and she sent me to the hospital.

They hooked me to the monitors, did some blood tests,and everything still looks great. I am starting to have some contractions, but not enough to be considered labor. I guess just to be sure, they had me spend the night here.

I knew it wasn't back pain related to labor because it was a constant pain in my upper back vs lower back - as if someone kicked me in my ribs or cinched a belt below my breasts. I am very thankful we live in the day-and-age of Vicodin. Even though I cat-napped most of the night, it definitely took the edge off of my pain.

The doctor I saw last night said that based on the discomfort I have been in, it might make sense to deliver today. I still haven't wrapped my head around that...

I am waiting for her to make rounds. Stay tuned for an update...

34 Weeks - Delivery Getting "Real" and Waiting on a Date

This week was busy one...

When we were first convinced that this pregnancy was going to "stick", one of the first things I purchased were our car seats - Chicco Key-Fit 30 in Graphica:

After all, you never know how soon the babies would decide to make their appearance into the world...

On Saturday, we signed up for a "clinic" at our local hospital to learn how to install the car seats properly. The instructor gushed over the model we purchased saying how much he liked it - so I guess we did something right! It was actually much easier to install the bases and seats than I thought - and now I feel prepared on that front.

In other news, a co-worker of mine (who works at our headquarters site) and his partner were expecting a baby girl in mid-December. On Friday, I got an e-mail saying their daughter was born that morning (no other details - so I have to assume the baby is ok). Although my mind knows this, when I saw the email it suddenly hit me like a ton-of-bricks that our babies can be born at ANY moment now. I am not sure why that email had such a great impact on me, but it did...it made our impending delivery "real".

Doctor Appointment Update
My doctor's appointment went great yesterday! I had a comprehensive ultrasound and the Twinks are doing fabulous! Baby A (now head-down on my right and the more active of the two) is weighing in at 5 lbs and Baby B (still with their head in my left rib and feet under my belly button) is at 5 lbs 4 oz.

My blood pressure was a little low (but still normal) and I lost 4 lbs, which means my total weight gain during the pregnancy is still hovering around 25 lbs total. The nurse still thinks it's water weight, so she's not concerned about the weight loss. My Heparin challenge tests all came back great - which tells them I am on the correct dose.

I am still dealing with severe nausea (Sunday night I was tossing-my-cookies all day and for 30 minutes straight before I went to bed), so they switched my nausea med to Promethazine (generic Phenergan). It's a medication that's also used to treat allergies, so it makes me tired. That's ok though - I'd rather be tired than nauseous. Interestingly, one of the side effects is nausea / vomiting. Go figure...


I think I've started having contractions this week - but not enough to start counting or timing.

We put in a request for a delivery date of 11/11/11, but it's not looking good. The one doctor on-call that day is the head of the practice (they usually have two doctors) and, because he is THE BEST Maternal Fetal Medicine OB in the city, he is in very high demand. It would be the equivalent of requesting Oprah to deliver your baby if she were an OB. Since I will only be 37 weeks, he may push me back a week - but the nurse said he likes delivering multiples, so maybe we we will get lucky and he'll agree to take my case. Fingers crossed for good news tomorrow. Even if they agree to an 11/11/11 delivery date, it doesn't mean the babies will wait until then. It just means that I will have a definite "end date." Will update with a firm delivery date as soon as I know more.

I asked the nurse about life after birth and one thing that I didn't realize is that even if I don't have to get up to feed the babies, I will still need to pump about every 3 hours for the first several weeks. I am sure this is easier than having to feed / diaper them too, but was hoping I could get a good 5-6 hours sleep. Oh, the sacrifices we make...(and this is just the beginning)!