Saturday, December 31, 2011

Life in the Fast Lane

I realize it's been awhile since I've posted an update. As you might imagine, life has been on fast-forward these past several weeks and I've gained a whole new perspective on time.

The Twinks are on a pretty consistent 2.5 to 3-hour start-to-start feeding schedule. This means that if I begin a round of feeding (which involves a pre-meal diaper change, heating a bottle, the feeding itself, a burping, and a post-meal diaper change - X 2!) at 6 am, and it takes the average 1 - 1.5 hours, I have very little "down time" and need to be prepared to go again by 8:30 - 9:00 am. Sometimes, I also need to fit a 15-20 minute pumping session or try to get a meal prepared and eaten within this ":down time" too.

I am still trying to supplement their meals with breast milk, b ut found that my body won't produce more than 150 - 200 ml (about 5 - 7 oz) per day. This means that rather than pumping every 2-3 hours like some women do, I pump only 3-4 times / day. Right now, I don't have a "pumping end date" in mind. Instead I am planning to just wait and see how long I can keep up this pumping schedule - especially after I return to work.

The Twinkies are doing great! Here are some pictures I took of them on Tuesday:






They had a wonderful Christmas. On Christmas Eve, they went to their "Aunt Anne's" house to celebrate with her family, and on Christmas Day, we took them to the Chart House for lunch. They slept the entire time and were the "superstars" of the restaurant. They received personalized ornaments and adorable clothes and blankets from their Uncle, Aunt and Cousins in Philly, a Manhattan Toy Co. Winkel and Infantino Sound and Light Ball from Mom, and the complete collection of Hans Christian Anderson's and The Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales from Dad.



I can hardly believe how much they have grown since they were born seven short weeks ago! Each night I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning, I swear I can see a difference in their appearance. F is fitting comfortably in 3-6 month sizes now and G is almost out of her newborn clothes. They have graduated from baby t-shirts to "onesies."  Yes, the onesies are adorable, but why are they so hard to get on. Shouldn't they make them with zippers vs. trying to squeeze it over a baby's head?

They do occasionally smile, but both Twinks are still in the "blobby" state right now - eating, sleeping, peeing and pooing. They don't seem to have an awareness of one another or themselves at this point - for example, they don't bring their hands together purposefully yet. According to the pediatrician, that should happen soon.

Developmentally,  F is just a few days ahead of G. Their vision is coming into focus more and more each day. Today, I had F in his crib for one of the very first times, and he was fascinated by his mobile. G didn't even look at the music box I had attached to the side of her crib about 1'  or 1.5' from her face. She does love doing her "ballerina" moves though - where she waves her hands and points her toes.

They are both holding their heads up more and more each day. I can definitely see improvement from just two weeks ago. Today, I had F in the activity pod (the one where the baby sits in the middle and can swivel the seat to reach various activities) and he kept trying to control his head and neck. He'd hold it up for 3-5 seconds before flopping over.

It's hard to believe that my last day of  work was September 22nd, but it was! I am scheduled to return to work the first Friday in 2012 (January 6th) - exactly eight weeks after they were born. Eight weeks isn't nearly enough time, but I know I've been missed at work and they are looking forward to  my return. The best news is that my boss went above-and-beyond and got a special exception to allow me to work from home two days a week. Even though I will still have full time help at home five days a week, knowing that I will be just upstairs from them puts my mind at ease and made the decision to return to work much easier.

I see this as the best of both worlds - a few days of "adult" time in the office and a couple of days where my heart won't ache because I miss them so much.

Here's to a terrific 2012! Happy New Year F & G!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Our First Christmas Party

We are going to our first Christmas party today. Here's what I think of my brother's outfit...pfffftttthhhh!


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Who Could Have Imagined?

On March 25, 2011, I left this on my husband's side of the bed when he came upstairs after finishing his breakfast:



(When he saw this he asked, "Where the other two pairs of jammies?" since we transferred 3 embryos - one didn't make it).

Who could have dreamed this is what would be inside those same jammies ten months later?




Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My New Favorite Photo of F

This photo was taken by my friend's 10-year-old daughter. She has a wonderful eye for capturing a moment!


Monday, December 5, 2011

Good Morning World!

F is starting to smile (or he has gas?)




Saturday, December 3, 2011

One of my favorite places in the whole wide world...snuggled against Mom in my carrier.

~ F



Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Prayer for Milk?

So far, I think I've been pretty good at being a new Mom of twins (wonder how long I'll to use the phrase "new Mom." Is there a statute of limitations?).

After working so hard for this, I am completely in love and have a bad case of the "get to's" vs. the "have to's":

I get to change their diapers and make them feel comfortable and dry!
I get to do laundry for them and change them into clean clothes!
I get to prepare bottles for them, feed them and give them nourishment!
I get to guess what's going to make them stop crying!
I get to wrap them up and soothe them to sleep!
I get to massage their tiny, soft feet!
I get to kiss the tops of their heads and soft cheeks!

I remember every millisecond that if my very last IVF failed and they weren't here, I wouldn't get to do any of these things.


I've generally been able to handle two babies crying at the same time and am slowly learning to "talk F&G" and understand what they're trying to tell me. I've learned that F hates having his hands swaddled, dislikes a dirty diaper and wants to eat every 2 - 2.5 hours. G could stay in the same wet and poopy diaper all day, loves to snuggle and would happily snooze for eight hours straight (don't worry - I would never "starve" her or let her sit in a dirty diaper).

Where I am really struggling is in the milk production department. I never thought I would be able to breast feed exclusively, but I also thought that I would at least be able to do a decent job at supplementing their meals.

In addition to me knowing that breast milk is best, I am LOVING the "weight loss effect." So far, I weigh 10 lbs less than when I started my pregnancy (and I still have some swelling, so I expect it to continue for a bit). Don't misunderstand - I still have lots of weight to lose (3 years of infertility treatments had me starting my pregnancy about 50 lbs. overweight, and I would now like to get that weight off me too - once and for all)!

Despite being on Regalan to help increase my milk supply and jumping on the pump several times a day, my milk continues to refuse to come in like it should. Within a 24-hour period, I am averaging right around 100 ml - no where close enough to feed one, let alone two babies.

Yesterday, I started to have my first mini-meltdown. I was on the pump for 30 minutes and produced some ridiculously low amount of milk - like only 5 ml. My husband could tell I was losing it...but there wasn't much he could do. I think only an IVF patient would understand.

A woman's body is "supposed" to be able to produce nourishment for her baby - why can't mine? I feel like my body is broken again and I am close to giving up. It's so frustrating.

I talked to my nurse on Tuesday and she said I needed to pump more often and suggested I nurse the babies. I also called my health care provider's nurse line and the consultant had several additional suggestions:

- Drink 3 glasses of milk a day
- Eat an egg at breakfast
- Take two naps during the day (yeah, right - I'll try, but I don't think she had twins...)
- Drink more water
- Nurse the babies at my breast

She said I should see an increase within 24 hours and, so far, nada.

As they say in the song "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof, "...we have traditions
for everything -- how to sleep, how to eat, how to work, how to wear clothes."

So, if any of you know the prayer or any other tricks to bring in my breast milk, please let me know.