Life in the Fast Lane

I realize it's been awhile since I've posted an update. As you might imagine, life has been on fast-forward these past several weeks and I've gained a whole new perspective on time.

The Twinks are on a pretty consistent 2.5 to 3-hour start-to-start feeding schedule. This means that if I begin a round of feeding (which involves a pre-meal diaper change, heating a bottle, the feeding itself, a burping, and a post-meal diaper change - X 2!) at 6 am, and it takes the average 1 - 1.5 hours, I have very little "down time" and need to be prepared to go again by 8:30 - 9:00 am. Sometimes, I also need to fit a 15-20 minute pumping session or try to get a meal prepared and eaten within this ":down time" too.

I am still trying to supplement their meals with breast milk, b ut found that my body won't produce more than 150 - 200 ml (about 5 - 7 oz) per day. This means that rather than pumping every 2-3 hours like some women do, I pump only 3-4 times / day. Right now, I don't have a "pumping end date" in mind. Instead I am planning to just wait and see how long I can keep up this pumping schedule - especially after I return to work.

The Twinkies are doing great! Here are some pictures I took of them on Tuesday:






They had a wonderful Christmas. On Christmas Eve, they went to their "Aunt Anne's" house to celebrate with her family, and on Christmas Day, we took them to the Chart House for lunch. They slept the entire time and were the "superstars" of the restaurant. They received personalized ornaments and adorable clothes and blankets from their Uncle, Aunt and Cousins in Philly, a Manhattan Toy Co. Winkel and Infantino Sound and Light Ball from Mom, and the complete collection of Hans Christian Anderson's and The Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales from Dad.



I can hardly believe how much they have grown since they were born seven short weeks ago! Each night I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning, I swear I can see a difference in their appearance. F is fitting comfortably in 3-6 month sizes now and G is almost out of her newborn clothes. They have graduated from baby t-shirts to "onesies."  Yes, the onesies are adorable, but why are they so hard to get on. Shouldn't they make them with zippers vs. trying to squeeze it over a baby's head?

They do occasionally smile, but both Twinks are still in the "blobby" state right now - eating, sleeping, peeing and pooing. They don't seem to have an awareness of one another or themselves at this point - for example, they don't bring their hands together purposefully yet. According to the pediatrician, that should happen soon.

Developmentally,  F is just a few days ahead of G. Their vision is coming into focus more and more each day. Today, I had F in his crib for one of the very first times, and he was fascinated by his mobile. G didn't even look at the music box I had attached to the side of her crib about 1'  or 1.5' from her face. She does love doing her "ballerina" moves though - where she waves her hands and points her toes.

They are both holding their heads up more and more each day. I can definitely see improvement from just two weeks ago. Today, I had F in the activity pod (the one where the baby sits in the middle and can swivel the seat to reach various activities) and he kept trying to control his head and neck. He'd hold it up for 3-5 seconds before flopping over.

It's hard to believe that my last day of  work was September 22nd, but it was! I am scheduled to return to work the first Friday in 2012 (January 6th) - exactly eight weeks after they were born. Eight weeks isn't nearly enough time, but I know I've been missed at work and they are looking forward to  my return. The best news is that my boss went above-and-beyond and got a special exception to allow me to work from home two days a week. Even though I will still have full time help at home five days a week, knowing that I will be just upstairs from them puts my mind at ease and made the decision to return to work much easier.

I see this as the best of both worlds - a few days of "adult" time in the office and a couple of days where my heart won't ache because I miss them so much.

Here's to a terrific 2012! Happy New Year F & G!

Our First Christmas Party

We are going to our first Christmas party today. Here's what I think of my brother's outfit...pfffftttthhhh!

Who Could Have Imagined?

On March 25, 2011, I left this on my husband's side of the bed when he came upstairs after finishing his breakfast:



(When he saw this he asked, "Where the other two pairs of jammies?" since we transferred 3 embryos - one didn't make it).

Who could have dreamed this is what would be inside those same jammies ten months later?

My New Favorite Photo of F

This photo was taken by my friend's 10-year-old daughter. She has a wonderful eye for capturing a moment!

Good Morning World!

F is starting to smile (or he has gas?)

One of my favorite places in the whole wide world...snuggled against Mom in my carrier.

~ F

A Prayer for Milk?

So far, I think I've been pretty good at being a new Mom of twins (wonder how long I'll to use the phrase "new Mom." Is there a statute of limitations?).

After working so hard for this, I am completely in love and have a bad case of the "get to's" vs. the "have to's":

I get to change their diapers and make them feel comfortable and dry!
I get to do laundry for them and change them into clean clothes!
I get to prepare bottles for them, feed them and give them nourishment!
I get to guess what's going to make them stop crying!
I get to wrap them up and soothe them to sleep!
I get to massage their tiny, soft feet!
I get to kiss the tops of their heads and soft cheeks!

I remember every millisecond that if my very last IVF failed and they weren't here, I wouldn't get to do any of these things.


I've generally been able to handle two babies crying at the same time and am slowly learning to "talk F&G" and understand what they're trying to tell me. I've learned that F hates having his hands swaddled, dislikes a dirty diaper and wants to eat every 2 - 2.5 hours. G could stay in the same wet and poopy diaper all day, loves to snuggle and would happily snooze for eight hours straight (don't worry - I would never "starve" her or let her sit in a dirty diaper).

Where I am really struggling is in the milk production department. I never thought I would be able to breast feed exclusively, but I also thought that I would at least be able to do a decent job at supplementing their meals.

In addition to me knowing that breast milk is best, I am LOVING the "weight loss effect." So far, I weigh 10 lbs less than when I started my pregnancy (and I still have some swelling, so I expect it to continue for a bit). Don't misunderstand - I still have lots of weight to lose (3 years of infertility treatments had me starting my pregnancy about 50 lbs. overweight, and I would now like to get that weight off me too - once and for all)!

Despite being on Regalan to help increase my milk supply and jumping on the pump several times a day, my milk continues to refuse to come in like it should. Within a 24-hour period, I am averaging right around 100 ml - no where close enough to feed one, let alone two babies.

Yesterday, I started to have my first mini-meltdown. I was on the pump for 30 minutes and produced some ridiculously low amount of milk - like only 5 ml. My husband could tell I was losing it...but there wasn't much he could do. I think only an IVF patient would understand.

A woman's body is "supposed" to be able to produce nourishment for her baby - why can't mine? I feel like my body is broken again and I am close to giving up. It's so frustrating.

I talked to my nurse on Tuesday and she said I needed to pump more often and suggested I nurse the babies. I also called my health care provider's nurse line and the consultant had several additional suggestions:

- Drink 3 glasses of milk a day
- Eat an egg at breakfast
- Take two naps during the day (yeah, right - I'll try, but I don't think she had twins...)
- Drink more water
- Nurse the babies at my breast

She said I should see an increase within 24 hours and, so far, nada.

As they say in the song "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof, "...we have traditions
for everything -- how to sleep, how to eat, how to work, how to wear clothes."

So, if any of you know the prayer or any other tricks to bring in my breast milk, please let me know.

Two Peas

Went to wake the Twinkies up a moment ago for lunch and here's what I saw...





Can you tell I am a Mom who's completely and utterly in Love?!

Two Week Checkup

On Saturday, we went to the pediatrician. Dr. Dan says my sister and I look great! We each grew 1/2" and gained over .5 lbs.

Whoever thinks I'm not old enough to hold my own bottle yet just doesn't know me! Today it's the bottle, tomorrow it's straight to the fridge to fix myself a sandwich!

Reflections From a Two Week Old Mommy

Thank you for all your warm wishes and congratulations on the birth of our two amazing miracles! I've been in a constant state of bliss and life doesn't get any better!

As I start to write this entry, the twins were born almost EXACTLY two weeks ago. As a brand new mommy, I wish I had a video camera running non-stop. Every single second is filled with wonderment, fascination and an overwhelming sense of happiness like I've never experienced in my life! (I'm also using many more exclamation points these days).

Picture at birth

Aproximately 10 days old

The twins arrived on a Friday and were PRECISELY 37 weeks. I am extremely thankful for two things:

1. To have carried them so close to "term" of 38 weeks without ANY complications, and
2. To have my energy back and feel like myself again.

(Hope you don't mind me bragging, but on Thanksgiving Day, it was in the upper 60's and we went for our first "real" walk with the kids and our two labs. I made it the full 3 miles - a feat that seemed insurmountable just a few short weeks ago, when I could barely walk to the end of our driveway)!

A Little More About F&G's Names
We didn't tell anyone the names we picked for the twins. Since we didn't know the sexes, we chose two boy's names and two girl's names. No, Fabio wasn't really ever in the running (but it made people laugh when they asked what names we picked).

Each of the Twinks is named after three very, special people...

F is named after my husband's grandfather (Francis), my grandmother (Florence) and my grand uncle (who also happens to be my Grandfather's brother because two brothers married two sisters - Frank). His middle name is "T" after my husband's grandma, Theresa.

G is named after my very good friend Georgiana, who passed away on Christmas Eve in the early 2000's from cancer - she is the person who inspired my love of travel and was always an inspiration. She is also named after my Mom's sister (Geordie) who also passed away from cancer in the early 2000's, and my grandfather, George. Her middle name comes from one of my favorite books - Pillars of the Earth.



Georgiana McCall

May all these very special people continue to R.I.P.

The Birth and Delivery
Realizing that as long as I was in the hospital and there wasn't really anything my husband could do, I told him to go to work - especially since less time in the hospital meant more time at home with us after the babies arrived.

When the doctor came to my room mid-afternoon on Friday to deliver the news that the Twinks lungs were developed enough to move forward with the delivery, I was in a bit of a state of shock because I had assumed delivery would be a week away. I had not had time to mentally process that this monumental event was now mere hours away. I was definitely ready, but it was unbelievable that months of "Twinkie Baking" would be finished in an instant!

When I called my husband to tell him it was "game on" at 4 pm, in his typical stoic nature, he said he'd plan to meet me in my hospital room at 4:30 pm. It's a good thing I've been married to him for so long and immediately understood that he said this because he didn't understand the birth "process". I also know DESPISES waiting around aimlessly. In the end, his timing was impeccable - he arrived about ten minute before they were ready to take me into the delivery room.

When the medical staff asked him if he wanted to change into scrubs and be in the delivery room, he was a bit hesitant, but ultimately decided he wanted to come. I'm glad he did...

First, they wheeled me into the delivery room (which was more like the "emergency room" setting I had envisioned based on TV shows). There was a team of no less than 30 people ready to deliver the babies - no wonder why this country has a medical insurance crisis! I am not sure the role each one played, but I am sure they each had an important role.

The anesthesiologist (who called himself by his first name - "Howard") administered my epidural. Even though I have given myself THOUSANDS of injections over the past several years, I was very nervous about getting needles stuck in my spine. He made me sit on the edge of the bed and had me slump my shoulders - the one time in my life we are supposed to have bad posture.

Once the epidural started to take effect, he put oxygen over my nose and mouth, and had me lie down with my arms out to the side - just like I was being crucified horizontally. Next, a sheet went up, so I could not see or feel anything.

Dr. Bronwyn Kahn and Dr. Richard Porreco were the two doctors who would deliver the twins. As I've mentioned before, Dr. Porreco is somewhat of a celebrity in the field of Maternal Fetal Medicine. Once I was all numbed up, Dr. Porrecio came in. Just like Oprah Winfrey, the entire team worked around him.

The Twinkies with Dr. K

I felt minimal tugging, pulling and and pressure. And, within what seemed like seconds, he announced the first baby was out. He asked my husband if he wanted to announce if it was a boy or a girl - and my husband said "Nah, you do it." Then I heard "it's a girl!" Less than 30 seconds later, I heard cries from a second baby...a boy. That was when I lost it and started bawling hysterically with joy (and, you'll have to excuse me, because I have tears running down my cheeks again, as I type this).

Ok...better now. Thanks Kleenex!

We chose not to find out the sexes until birth. For months, I had been convinced I had been carrying two boys and was utterly speechless when I heard it was a boy and a girl (not that it would have mattered).

They call it the "miracle of birth"...now that I've been there, "miracle" doesn't seem like a big enough word. There should be a word that is more ginormous...because the first time a mother looks at her child,  it's a truly indescribable moment.

I did not realize that my husband took pictures in the delivery room until I looked back at the photos today - but he did!

 

Baby G

Me and F

My favorite time of day was waking up at 5 am, picking up a baby, and cuddling skin-to-skin while watching the sun rise over the mountains. Several times, I have broken out into spontaneous tears.

Hospital Stay
Shortly after delivery, they moved me to room 1107 - where I would spend nearly a week. The private  room was at the end of the hall (so we had lots of privacy) and had a beautiful view of the Denver skyline and State Capitol building.

The mornings were jam packed with people coming by - nurses, doctors and various professionals - like physical therapists and lactation consultants, to monitor me, and a second team of nurses, pediatricians and other professionals, like the hearing-and-speech specialists, to monitor the babies.

During the day, the babies would be with me in the room - and at night the babies would be in the nursery so that I could get a little sleep. I would still wake up several times each night to check on and help feed them in the nursery. All the nurses fell in love with them and F & G were the "hit" of the 11th Floor Mother and Baby ward.

The day before we were supposed to check out, F's levels were low, so they put him under lights to prevent jaundice. Seeing our son under the lights brought out his bleach-blond hair. He loved it so much that I wouldn't be surprised if he tells me one day that he wants to be a professional sunbather.

On what was supposed to be our last day, G's levels were low - so we spent an extra day so that she could "soak up the sun" too.  She kept pulling down her Bili eye-band - so she looked like Catwoman.

Fortunately, they let me stay in the hospital with them as a "boarding patient" - which meant I could spend the night, but I was not under any one's medical care. This meant that if I needed so much as an aspirin, no one in the hospital could give it to me, and I would have had to call my doctor offsite.

Aunt Michele and Uncle Michael sent flowers and a few visitors stopped by - including Dave & Lisa (our neighbors from across the street,  "Aunties" Anne Nelson, Sara Andrew, Jennifer Rosenthal and, of course,  Bubbie Jan.

Auntie Anne

Bubbie Jan

Coming Home and the Last Two Weeks
Our timing for hospital release could not have been coordinated better. "Grandma" Gaga's plane touched down about the same time we got the ok to go home, and Grandpa M's plane was due to arrive a few hours later. As we left the hospital, the first song on the radio was The Ramone's "Blitzkrieg Bop."

Becky, our night doula, arrived right on-schedule the first night to help us take care of the babies and allow Mom & Dad to get a little sleep (although Mom was so excited, that she was up most of the night anyway 0 this adrenaline rush continued for several nights, in fact, but eventually Mom hit bottom and needed sleep to).

We spent the week before Thanksgiving running last-minute errands. We realized we did not have many "newborn" size clothes - especially for a boy and warm enough for winter, since Mom did most of the shopping during the warmer-weather months, so it was off to the stores to search for a new wardrobe (hint to new moms who may be reading this blog - think zippers vs. snaps, especially when you need to change clothes at 2 am).

We also wanted to set up a "station" on our main level so that the Twinks could "live" on one floor for awhile. This involved buying a second changing table (which took hours and hours to find and almost a half-day for Dad and Grandpa M to put together), and rearranging some furniture and other items to have everything required for baby care convenient and within arm's reach.

Overall, the Twinks have been very easy to care for. They sleep an average of 20 hours and, when they do awake, it's for one of only a few reasons - they are hungry, gassy or wet / dirty. They are both very good eaters - G likes to "snack" leisurely and look around the room, while "F" is more of a "gett'er done" kinda baby, usually finishing his bottle - and sometimes more.

The day after we arrived home, Thursday, was their first pediatrician appointment. They both passed with flying colors and each only lost a few ounces between when they were born and their first appointment.

Giving birth is not quite like it is portrayed in Hollywood or the glossy magazines you see as you check out at the local supermarket with your groceries. Your stomach, legs, feet and hands will be very swollen and you will still look pregnant for many weeks. In fact, on Friday my swelling was so bad that I ended up spending most of the afternoon in our local hospital's emergency room due to extreme swelling. Fortunately, they did not find any blood clots and I was sent home in the evening.

Grandma Gaga cooked up a storm while she was here - meatloaf and fresh string beans one night, brisket the next, and Turkey (an early Thanksgiving meal) the night after. Good thing she left us with lots of left-overs since our days are now centered around feeding, pumping, diaper changes and laundry.

F & Grandma Gaga

The Twinkies and Grandpa M

We wouldn't have it any other way!

Parting Words
I know that so many of you who read my blog are still meandering along your road to Mommyhood or Daddyhood. Perhaps you've been where I am now, you're currently expecting, or you're still in that state of purgatory wondering if this will ever work and "Will we ever become parents?"

If you fall into the third group or have doubts, take a look to the left at my history and consider for a moment what it took to finally bring these two children to life. This was not an easy road - years of uncertainty, failure and tears, two international trips filled with hope and desire, four rounds of heartbreaking miscarriages, multiple surgeries, disappointing delays, more needles than I care to think to count (and they're not over yet - four more weeks) and thousands and thousands of dollars invested on a "crap shoot".

Yes, as I sit here today, I feel like I won thePowerball lottery of life, but the outcome could have so easily been different.

During this Thanksgiving and holdiday season, please take time to count your blessings and appreciate the good things in your life.

The two most important men in my life...I love you both!

Hijacking a Post - The CCRM Summer (2010) Cyclers - WE DID IT!!!!

As a new Mom of one week, there are so may thoughts swirling through my head right now...so much I want to document and share, but where to start and finding the time to do it right now? (I've been up since 2:30 am and notice the time of this post is 4:43 am).

Oh, I know...let's start here, and I'll try to add first week details in subsequent posts:


Hijacking a Post
For those of you who read my blog and are still on your journey, I thought you might enjoy reading this post  that I copied from my friend's blog.

About eighteen months ago, when we started with CCRM, I joined a message board with six other women. Through time, we have kept up our connection and these women have become very, very special to me - even though I've never met some of them. It is a beautiful post that summarizes our journey together.

It brightens my heart to look at a star-lit sky and know that when we started, we all wished upon those stars. Today, I am overjoyed each time I think that these nine "CCRM Summer Cyclers" will forever be connected when, from all across North America, they look upon the same stars in the sky each night.

Thanks for documenting this Lisa!

Ode to the CCRM Summer (2010) Cyclers - WE DID IT!!!!

This post is one of pure celebration...yesterday the IVFC forum thread "CCRM Summer Cyclers" saw the last but not least, Flygirl, give birth to B/G twins...how cool is that to have a birthday that fell on 11/11/11? 

But what's so awesome about this particular thread is that ALL of us came out of the trenches together and with babies to take home!  I would venture to say that its a VERY rare occurrence when all cyclers in any particular IF forum thread come out on the other side.  A testament to the skill of the CCRM staff  and LUCK without a doubt.

The thread was filled with ups and downs as we started our ERs, ET's and FETs throughout the summer of 2010.  We all followed in RachelDiana's footsteps as she waded through the ER/CCS/FET process first, we rejoiced when LC1 broke the news she was expecting twins; we remained cautiously optimistic for Jasperina upon the news she was carrying triplets and then cried when she lost the identical twins and hung on hope for her singleton; we cried for Flygirl when her first FET resulted in yet ANOTHER m/c; the Summer Cyclers helped me through the mixed feelings a pg brings after previous pg losses and they rode the progesterone/threatened pg rollercoaster with me as LN10 battled to stay viable (a special prayer for LN10 was even said by Flygirl at St. Peter's Basilica in Rome as she toured Italy last fall); we rejoiced in the news that AuntieEm10 was expecting twins and hearts sank to learn of her fall that resulted in many broken bones and a harrowing road to recovery while pregnant with twins (!!); and finally we held our breaths as Flygirl's 2nd FET attempt resulted in yet another pg and remained cautiously optimistic that drugs to counteract a newly discovered blood clotting disorder would work...

And so I bring to you the results:

RachelDiana:  Baby Girl born June 2nd, 2011
LC1:  Boy/Girl twins born June 13th, 2011
LisainSK (moi!):  Baby Boy born June 28th, 2011 *somehow I butted myself in front of Jasperina as I wasn't due until July 20th!!*
Jasperina:  Baby Boy born June 29th, 2011
AuntieEm:  Girl/Girl twins born September 13th, 2011
Flygirl555:  Boy/Girl twins born November 11th, 2011

For a total of 5 baby girls and 4 baby boys, 3 singletons and 3 sets of twins.......WOW!!

We managed to rack up over 27 forum pages before the babies were born and have added about 3 additional pages since June 2011...needless to say...we're all busy mamma's now!!  

48 and a Few Hours Old

Thanks for all the wonderful comments on the birth of our two miracles! I am living in a dream and have had an ear-to-ear smile on my face since Friday.

I'm still at the hospital and can't post pictures from my iPad. So, I'll just try to summarize the last few days (or at least as much as I can remember) and post pictures later this week - once we're home.

The Delivery
Once the amnio test confirmed the twins' lungs were mature, the doctors scheduled me for a c-section at 4:30 pm.

First, the nurse came to explain the entire procedure and get me to sign consent forms. It was nice to go through things with a semi-clear head.

Next, the anesthesiologist (he called himself "Howard") came in to ask questions about my medical history and prior reactions to anesthesia. He then explained what the epidural process would look like and had me sign more consent forms. He was clearly very experiencced and had a great personality. I knew I was in good hands.

About 30 minutes prior, Dr. Porrecio came in and briefly went over the c-section procedure. It was clear that he is the "executor" and everything else about the procedure revolves around him. As I said in previous posts, it's like having Oprah deliver these kids - so I imagine things work the same on her set. She shows up to do what she does best, and hundreds of other people address the details.

My DH arrived around 4:30 pm and the nurses started to "prep" me. They had my DH change into scrubs. Never saw him in scrubs before - pretty sexy!

We delivered in the L&D surgery room - so it did look like what I imagined from TV. Operating table, overhead lights, walls lined with medical equipment, everything was sterile, etc. There were no less than 25 people in the delivery room. It was strange to have all that attention. Dr. Porrecio and Dr. Bronwyn Kahn (another doctor in his practice) arrived very last.

They took me into the delivery room first and Howard adminisered the epidural. He had me sit up to give me the initial shots, then I lied down on the operating table with my arms spread to either side. I felt like I was being crusified in a horizontal position. Very quickly, everything below my armpits went numb. They then brought my DH into the operating room, sat him in a seat by my head and put up a drape so I could not see anything below my arms.

I felt some pressure below the curtain, but before you could blink your eyes, one baby was out. They asked my DH if he wanted to announce the sex and he said "no, you do it" - so the next words I heard were "It's a Girl!" Within 30 seconds, the second baby was delivered and I heard "It's a boy!"

They quickly brought F up by my head to show me for a second and the next sound I heard was one of the babies crying. I started gushing tears...not believing what I just heard!

Within seconds, they rushed both babies to the nursery to perform all the necessary tests. My DH said G(Baby "A" who was my gymnast) was quiet and hardly cried, and F (Baby "B" who was my "couch potato") was like a squirmy worm. While the Twinkies were in the nursery, I was being "sewn up" and then taken to a "recovery alcove" to wait with my DH.

About 15 minutes later, we were taken to a recovery room and introduced to our babies for the first time. I was heavily drugged and don't remember much, but I do remember the beautiful sight of seeing them for the first time. I don't know which was more miraculous - seeing their HB's for the first time or seeing them for the first time. They both were equally astounding.

The rest of the evening was spent holding them, feeding them, and in a drugged haze feeling like I was on top of the world.

My DH made some phone calls, but I don't remember much because the next day I kept asking him "Did you call so-and-so?" and him replying "Don't you remember? You talked to them too." No, I don't remember much.

Saturday, November 12 - Day 2
Even though my DH went home (there was no reason for him to stay here with me and our dogs don't do well alone for the night) and the kids went to the nursery, I cat-napped all night. It seems like each time I woke up and asked if the Twinkies had been fed, they either already had or the next feeding was at least an hour away - so I didn't get to feed them that night.

I woke up early and had them bring F in (since he was up too) while G stayed in the nursery. F and I snuggled, skin-to-skin, for a couple of hours (he slept and I smiled and cooed) and it was the most magical time of the day! I am so glad I got to spend the alone time with him.

The day was filled with various medical professionals stopping by - nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, and other professionals stopping by. Between feedings, burpings, snugglings, checking vital signs, pumping, and various other activities, it was a whirlwind of a day, but one of the greatest days of my life.

I remained on a clear-liquid diet all day - meaning I could eat nothing but broth, tea, and italian ices. Fortunately, I was so overwhelmed with joy, I didn't have much of an appetite. Despite being on liquids, my bladder didn't get very full - so the nurse encouraged me to drink more fluids.

Sunday, Novembe 13 - Day 3
By the time I went to bed last night, I was so overtired that I didn't know how tired I was. I woke up in the middle of the night with a FULL bladder and terrible cramps (probably a combination of my full bladder and [hopefully] my uterus starting to contract). They had been measuring my urine and this time I nearly overflowed the measuring cup - so they let me off of that test.

I got up around 5 am again, and this time retrieved both of the Twinkies from the nursery. While F slept in his bassinette, I snuggled skin-to-skin with G. All I could think about was how I still feel like I was living in a dream. We both fell back to sleep for about two hours and didn't move a muscle.

Today was again filled with visits from various medical professionals testing me and the babies.

Both kids passed their hearing tests - where they hook electrodes all over their bodies and play clicking noises in their ears. I can't say I am surprised, based on how they'd wiggle around in-utero any time I was around live music.

Our "normal" OB - Dr. Stettler - was on-call today and came to see us. He said we all looked wonderful and allowed me to take a picture of him with each twin. When I mentioned that I was surprised that it was a boy and a girl, he said "Really? You didn't know?" I replied, "Nope - the only people in the world who knew were you, the u/s tech and the Twinkies themselves."

My DH and I are now getting very good at swaddling, feeding and changing diapers. My DH even reminded me to wipe G from front to back (a detail the nurse said most Dads who have their first daughters forget).

Despite pumping and trying to get the Twinks to latch onto my breasts, my milk has not come in yet. The nurses said to keep at it and confirmed it may take up to a week for it to happen (or it may not, but at least I know I've given it my best shot).

Just as I imagined, my DH is a natural at being a Dad. Even though he is quiet and extremely stoic, the babies bring out the best in him and he talks to them in his witty, but sincere manner. For example, when they cry because he's changing their diaper he says, "Hey, this isn't much fun for me either." He even calls his daughter things like "sweetie pie"! It's so cute.

Both babies have long, lean legs and fingers and toes longer than any I've ever seen on a newborn. The nurses think the babies are going to be tall like their Dad.

Well, it's now 11:30 pm local time - time for another feeding, a sesison with the breast pump, and time to get some shut eye.

Until next time...

A View From the Hospital - They're Here!

Welcome to the world:

Girl - G.A. 5 lbs, 10 oz.; 19.25"; 4:59 pm

Boy - F.T. 6 lbs, 1 oz.; 19.25"; 5:00 pm

Mom and kids are doing great! Pictures coming soon!

A View From the Hospital - Update 4

Several hours have now passed and I have been "hanging out" in bed all day.

It's now about 2:45 pm and the anesthesiologist came in about 30 minutes ago to review his part of the procedure. Most of what he said went over my head, but the most important thing is that I am in good hands and we are going to be pain free.

Dr. P stopped in a few minutes ago to confirm we are all set for 4:30 pm.

Even though we are within hours, it still doesn't seem real. We have waited so long for this moment...it's hard to believe it's here!

My DH is finishing some things up at work and will be here at 3:45 pm. Grandma C and Grandpa S are on standby - waiting for news, while Grandma & Grandpa K have no idea yet and will be called by Dad once the Twinks are born.

Until after delivery...ciao!

A View From the Hospital - Update 3

It's 11:45 am and the amnio is complete and being processed in the lab. As the nurse described it, they withdrew some "baby pee" from Twin B and are testing it for a chemical that indicates lung development. They want the levels to come back between 50 and 100. She also explained that they typically try to draw from the larger baby because the smaller baby knows delivery can happen anytime. The larger baby gets "lazy" so lung development sometimes doesn't happen as rapidly.

I was put on the monitors again and they started an IV - which is good because I haven't eaten since last night (turkey with Swiss on rye with string beans and baked Lays). At least I got some greens down!

Ok, the nurse just came in and said my levels were 76.7 - so looks like it's going to be Twinkie time tonight!

A View From the Hospital - Update 2

It's 9:45 am MT and I just saw Dr. Porrecio (finally got to meet the legend)!

He agreed that it makes sense to do an amino to check lung maturity on one of the Twinks and, if it shows the lungs are mature on one baby, assume they are mature on the other, and deliver this evening.

Stay tuned!

A View From the Hospital (No Twinkies Yet)

On Wednesday night / Thursday morning, I had such severe back pain that I didn't get to bed until 3 am. By 1 pm yesterday afternoon, it hurt so much that I called my nurse and she sent me to the hospital.

They hooked me to the monitors, did some blood tests,and everything still looks great. I am starting to have some contractions, but not enough to be considered labor. I guess just to be sure, they had me spend the night here.

I knew it wasn't back pain related to labor because it was a constant pain in my upper back vs lower back - as if someone kicked me in my ribs or cinched a belt below my breasts. I am very thankful we live in the day-and-age of Vicodin. Even though I cat-napped most of the night, it definitely took the edge off of my pain.

The doctor I saw last night said that based on the discomfort I have been in, it might make sense to deliver today. I still haven't wrapped my head around that...

I am waiting for her to make rounds. Stay tuned for an update...

36 Weeks 3 Days - Update and Belly Pics

Now that we are close to delivery, these last couple of weeks are tough...

I was so sick on Sunday, that by evening (after my 4th or 5th session of tossing-my-cookies for 30-45 minutes each time), my husband called the doctor and they had me come into the hospital to pump fluids into me. This time we went to the correct hospital. I was so impressed by the staff and nurses. Since they knew we were on our way, they had all my records and read my history prior to our arrival. All I had to do was to confirm the details! It was such a pleasure to not have to go through my entire medical history again and again.

They hooked me up to monitors and confirmed, once again, the babies are fine and I am not having contractions. This time, their heartbeats were in the 130-140 range and 10-15 BPM apart again. They gave me another new drug for the nausea - Reglan - and so far it seems to be working. Despite some back pain and occasional, sudden cramps (because the babies are running out of room), I've felt pretty good the last two days.

Both babies have grown again. Within the last two weeks, I put back on 4 lbs and I can tell my belly is bigger again. I didn't have measurements this week, so I don't know what they are estimated to weigh, but I do have my last detailed ultrasound scheduled for next Monday (11/14/11).

Baby A's head (the one with his head typically in my right hip) curled around so that their head now sits by my left hip with their feet sticking up near my right ribs. Baby B's head is in my left ribs and is in the fetal position - with knees bent and feet near my belly button. It's as if Baby B is sitting right on top of Baby A's head.

I had my nurse take some belly shots: 

  

Meeting the Donor
Last night, I watched an interesting documentary on PBS called "Donor Unknown" about a teenage girl who wanted to meet her sperm donor.

It turns out that this guy donated hundreds of times (sometimes up to 4 times a week) and, even though the California Cryobank tell donors who ask that they will limit the number of children produced by any one donor, the director admitted they are in business to make money and it isn't true.

The girl registered on donorsiblingregistry.com and found what looked like to be 20 half-brothers and sisters scattered across the country. Several of them have met, and some of these kids met their donor.

At the time this guy donated, he was in his late 20's and was a model who performed in a male review. The clinic "embellished" his profile by adding things like saying he was a "dancer / actor" and  enjoyed karate and gymnastics. Instead of being the business executive, doctor or professor many of his children dreamed he would be, they discovered he is now a "beach bum" who does drugs recreationally, rescues animals and lives in a cluttered and dirty older mobile home in Venice Beach. Although the original girl who started to seek him out seems to be very accepting of his lifestyle and anticipates continuing a relationship with him, I wonder what the other kids and their parents really think.



Right now, I don't understand the instinctual drive some kids feel to meet their donors. When we went through IVF, the doctors gave us only a 5-10% chance of succeeding with my own eggs and the risk for genetic abnormalities was high. If we used donor eggs, we had an 85-95% chance of success and the genetic risks were substantially lower - so the decision was very easy.

I also wonder if her motivation to find her sperm donor and his family was largely motivated because she was raised by a lesbian couple (I did not point this out to get into a discussion of  if gay or lesbian couples make good parents - I am simply stating a fact). The girl explained that she had a good life and was raised by two parents who loved her deeply, but it was also implied that she was looking for the "father" and grandparents she never felt she had. In fact, several times during the documentary, she called the donor her "father".

I have never, for even a millisecond, once felt that these two miracles growing inside our body weren't my husband's and my children. They always were, are and always will be...regardless of genetics. My preference right now is that this never comes up, but if it ever does, I hope that if we are ever faced with that predicament, we will be strong enough to support our kids in what is right at the time.

If You're Pregnant, Order This "Free" Planner

This weekend, we went to a new baby store that recently opened in our city and they gave me a free copy of Peg Perego's baby planner. I SO wish I had this book nine months ago!

It's jam packed with useful info, checklists and suggestions, like what to ask when interviewing child care providers, what different vitamins are and why you might want to take them, meds that are safe to take during pregnancy, what to pack in your hospital bag, a place to record names and telephone numbers of who you want your DH or family to call when you give birth, lists of things to do as soon as your baby is born, etc.

If you don't have this already, I strongly suggest paying the $3.95 shipping to order one: [url]http://www.pegperegoplanner.com/your-free-planner[/url]

I do not have any type of affiliation with Peg Perego, nor do I benefit in any way from you requesting a copy of this book. I was just so impressed with the info that I thought other pregnant women might find it helpful too.

Double the Pleasure!

(WARNING: If you have a weak stomach for "morning sickness", you may want to skip reading this post.)

Tonight, I was feeling pretty good, so I talked my DH into taking me out for one of my favorite meals in a chi-chi area if town called Cherry Creek - a chopped chicken salad at "Houston's" Restaurant (they renamed the restaurant to "Hillside" recently, but retained the same menu) followed by one of their specialties you can only order in Denver - a sundae with local homemade vanilla bean ice cream, candied pecans, fresh whipped cream, and a hot fudge sauce made with Belgian chocolate that is to-die-for (and I'm not even a chocolate lover). I would recommend going here just for this dessert - that's how good it is!

I finally figured out one of the benefits of "Morning Sickness" - I got to enjoy the meal twice...going down AND coming up!

If any of you are in or visiting Denver and go to this restaurant, know that the menu is extremely limited, the food is overpriced, and they charge you for things that you'd expect to be included (like bread to go with your salad) - but what they do, they do right - so it's a splurge.

The Final Countdown Update - 14 Days to Go!

Happy Friday! I LOVE Fridays...not only are they the end of the work week, but Friday, March 18th was the day we transferred our embryos that have become our two miracle Twinkies. So, each Friday is one week closer to meeting our babies.

Today marks exactly 36 weeks. And, in less than 14 days, we will FINALLY be able to hold our babies in our arms, look deep into their eyes, coo sweet-nothings into their ears, have them wrap their tiny hands around our pinkies, tickle their soft feet, watch them yawn and smell the tops of their heads! We're almost in SINGLE DIGITS until we meet them!!!

Although the lyrics have no relevance, I've had the chorus of Europe's "The Final Countdown" running through my head all day. What else can I say, except that I was a teen of the 80's - when male rockers had big hair, wore makeup and tight leather pants, and looked more like women than dudes. (Although the whole neon clothes, rubber bracelets, off-the-shoulder sweatshirts, big hair bows, leg warmers and shoulder pads is something I won't miss if we never see those fads again in my lifetime).

I confirmed Monday that my c-section is now officially scheduled for Friday, November 18th at 7:30 am (so we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am) and will be performed by Dr. Porreco - the "Oprah Winfrey" of Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors in Denver - there is no one better.

This week, my nausea has persisted, my belly grew again (I put back on 3.5 lbs and now appreciate help getting out of chairs), and back pain has finally kicked in. I often feel like someone took a belt and tightened it right around my upper rib cage. A bath and once-a-week massage do seem to help, but I am fortunate that I have held out this long with almost no back pain.

I did develop a new side-effect in the last two days - nose bleeds (oh joy!). I think they're being caused by the combination of the blood thinners I'm on, the dry weather and the change in seasons.

Yesterday evening, when I went to take my blood thinner shot, I noticed that my belly dropped. Like any woman nearing her due-date, I immediately Googled to find out more. The consensus was that it happens because the Twinkies are running out of room, and it doesn't necessary mean that I'll go into labor soon. One woman even said they could shift higher again...ugh!

Within the last three days, I strongly believe my male labrador has caught on that we're having babies. He's suddenly been sniffing my belly and won't let me out of his sight for more than a few minutes. He even sat outside the shower today waiting for me to finish. Poor puppy (yes, he's about 13 years old, but he'll always be a "puppy" to me) - little does he know his world is about to be turned upside-down!

I can't tell you how many people don't believe us when they ask the sexes and we say "We don't know." I guess it's the norm these days, but I have actually had many people say to me "You know, but you're just not telling, right?" No, we honestly don't know...and it doesn't matter.

As I've written before, the Twinks love live music. Last Sunday, we went to a Mexican restaurant and there was a Mariachi band playing. The Twinks were dancing the Paso Doble - stomping their feet and snapping their fingers. Today, it's a dance recital in Mom's belly, tomorrow they might be a contestant on one of my favorite reality shows - So You Think You Can Dance.

Yesterday (Thursday), I was fortunate enough to find a deeply-discounted, last-minute seat to a matinee performance of The Lion King (did I mention that I LOVE not working?!). Knowing that my due-date was so close to when this play was coming to town, I was hesitant to buy a ticket. By Tuesday I was willing to take my chances that the Twinkies would not arrive in the next 24 hours. It was a WONDERFUL play - the acting was great (especially the actors who played Zazu - the bird who acts as Mufasa's advisor, Timor & Pumba - the warthog and lemur who sing "Hakuna Matata" and the singer who played Rafiki the baboon), the sets were astounding , and the costumes were exquisite. With the incredible job Julie Taymore did on this production, it's hard to believe that Spiderman After Dark was such a flop. I am so glad the Twinkies and I had a chance to see it! In their usual fashion, the Twinkies "sang and danced" the entire 2 hours and 45 minutes.

On Halloween, we had our quarterly all-employee meeting at work. Since I had a Dr's appointment that ended just before the time the meeting was to begin, and the two offices are not that far, I "sneaked" into my office for the one-hour meeting. It was good to see everyone...I do miss them. An hour was definitely my limit - by the time the meeting ended, I was ready to come home and nap (which is exactly what I did).

Like most years, we had lots of Trick-or-Treaters visit our house. Our neighbors turn their yard into a haunted "village" (complete with their friends as actors), so people drive to take their kids to see their house. This year, it seemed like we had more little munchkins Trick-or-Treating and it got me so excited for next year - when we get to dress up our Twinkies!

As for shopping, Amazon has become my new BFF. I love that they give "Moms" one full year of Amazon Prime for free (as long as you order at least $25 of stuff that is "Amazon Mom" eligible). You don't even need to be a Mom to sign up - Dads,Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles can sign up too! It Seems like I check their site at least once a day to see what's on sale. Most recently, I ordered the CD and companion book of Marlo Thomas' "Free to Be You and Me" (you should know this if you were a child in the 70's), a couple more flannel Halo sleep sacks, and some Aden & Anis 47" x 47" swaddle blankets (so many moms rave about them).

So, that's the news from our little corner of the planet...

Does My Friend Know Something We Don't?

This was posted by my friend as her Facebook status today. Wondering if she knows something we don't. ;o)

This Sunday (November 6) at 2:00 a.m., Daylight Savings Time will end. The good news is that we get an extra hour of sleep when we turn our clocks back. (The official time for turning clocks back is 2:00 a.m.) On the day that DST ends, we have two 2:00 – 3:00 a.m.’s; on the day that DST starts we do not have a 2:00 – 3:00 a.m. at all.

Here’s something cool … twins born a few minutes apart on the day DST ends can (apparently) have their birth order changed. If Baby A is born at 1:59 a.m. on Saturday, November 6 and Baby B is born 7 minutes later, officially Baby B’s birth time is 1:06 a.m. that same day.

Just in case you’re interested, when DST starts, twins born a few minutes apart can appear to be born an hour apart. If Baby A is born at 1:59 a.m. and Baby B is born 7 minutes later, officially Baby B’s birth time is 3:06 a.m.

L'Chaim - We Have a Due Date!

Sometimes, we lose sight of things and don't even know it...

For the past several weeks, I had been wishing that the Twinks will be born on 11/11/11. Not only is it an easy date to remember, but it's Veteran's Day (What better way to honor the men and women who served and allow us to continue to live in this beautiful country in freedom?), it's my mother-in-law's birthday, and on a more selfish note, since family does not live near us, it would be easier to travel to celebrate birthdays because it's early enough before the "high" season for Thanksgiving airfares (What can I say? That's why I'm "Flygirl" - always thinking about travel and my next big adventure).

When I talked to my nurse this week, she said that the doctor would like me to go a full 38 weeks and prefers the date of November 18th. Although I trust my doctor's judgement, I was a bit disappointed because I was so focused on the "perfect" date of 11/11/11.

Today, I went to morning minyan services (a small, intimate Shabbat morning service where we read the Torah). I mentioned the date of November 18th to one of the other women who I am getting to know and she reminded me the meaning of the 18 in Judaism...I had totally forgot!

In Hebrew, the number 18 is "Chai" (חַי) and means "alive" or "living." To Jews everywhere, the number eighteen resonates deeply - as does every multiple of eighteen. Some say Chai refers to the Living G-d; others say it simply reflects Judaism's focus on the importance of life. There have been various mystical numerological speculations about the fact that, according to the system of gematria, the letters of chai add up to 18. For this reason, 18 is a spiritual number in Judaism, and many Jews give gifts of money in multiples of 18.

It consists of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet Chet (ח) and Yod (י). Among all Jews, both religious and secular, the toast לחיים ("l´chaim"), which means "to life", is frequently used when celebrating something, such as one of the high holidays, birthdays, weddings etc. You might have even seen women or men wearing a necklace with this symbol, be familiar with the song from Fiddler On the Roof  L'Chaim,

Chai is also a popular root word in Hebrew names. Chaya, derived from Chai is a popular female name in Hebrew, and Chaim is the very popular male version. The biblical Eve's name is חַוָּה ("Chava") in Hebrew, also derived from the same root as Chai.

As I was first getting to know my Rabbi, he gave me a very special gift - a book called Three Times Chai - 54 Rabbis Tell Their Favorite Stories by Laney Katz Becker.

As Laney states, she wrote the book during:

"...my struggle to find a way to celebrate life at a time when a series of health crises left me feeling lost, angry, sad and - in spite of tremendous support form my loving family and amazing friends - very much alone. In truth, I also felt abandoned and even betrayed; where was God?"

As a woman struggling with (or who has ever faced the uncertainty of) infertility, does this sound familiar? It certainly does to me!

In the book, fifty-four rabbis, from all branches of Judaism, tell their favorite stories—classic Bible stories, rabbinic and modern commentaries, folktales, and legends. Each story, ranging in length from one to seven pages, reflects a Jewish ideal or value and is told in the individual rabbi's unique speaking style. Each concludes with a note from the contributor explaining the story's lesson and why it is the rabbi's favorite.

To me, the book was just like a box of chocolates - at first I wanted to read every story straight through, but I quickly realized that it was a book to be savored and enjoyed - so I disciplined myself to read one story at a time and think about it's meaning. It's also a book I know I will share with my children when they are old enough to begin to understand some of the stories, and come back to again-and-again.

Ever since I received this gift, it has been displayed on a bookshelf near my bedside. I didn't think anything about it until today.

I now think November 18th is a beautiful delivery date and I can't imagine any other!

A Moving Story About IVF

This story, that I came across while surfing the internet about raising kids conceived as a result of IVF as Catholic, was too beautiful not to share. Enjoy and Happy Friday!

And here is my God story:

We were starting our first IVF cycle when my BIL passed away at age 38 from year long battle with ALS.  Ten days after his funeral was my ER.  When DH came in to the recovery area, I told him that Brian was with me.  DH tried to remind me that Brian had died.  I said I knew that.  I explained that Brian was there with me and he said that we shouldn't be sad anymore because he wasn't in pain or suffering anymore.  And we shouldn't worry about anything either because all would work out as God intended.
Guess what?  I got a BFN.  I was devastated to say the least.  We scheduled the FET for 3 months later.  Finally my BFP!  And you will never believe our ODS EDD and B-day - one year exactly from the date of Brian's death.  Dominic Brian is our miracle gift sent straight from Heaven.
When Dominic was 3 yrs old (he has gifted/talented tendancies) we were talking about his cousins and how Brian had died.   I said, "Dominic, your uncle Brian was an amazing, kind man that would have done just about anything for anyone.  I wish you could have met him."
Dominic turned to me and said, "I know uncle Brian.  We talked all the time before he told the angels to send me down from Heaven to be with you."

34 Weeks - Delivery Getting "Real" and Waiting on a Date

This week was busy one...

When we were first convinced that this pregnancy was going to "stick", one of the first things I purchased were our car seats - Chicco Key-Fit 30 in Graphica:

After all, you never know how soon the babies would decide to make their appearance into the world...

On Saturday, we signed up for a "clinic" at our local hospital to learn how to install the car seats properly. The instructor gushed over the model we purchased saying how much he liked it - so I guess we did something right! It was actually much easier to install the bases and seats than I thought - and now I feel prepared on that front.

In other news, a co-worker of mine (who works at our headquarters site) and his partner were expecting a baby girl in mid-December. On Friday, I got an e-mail saying their daughter was born that morning (no other details - so I have to assume the baby is ok). Although my mind knows this, when I saw the email it suddenly hit me like a ton-of-bricks that our babies can be born at ANY moment now. I am not sure why that email had such a great impact on me, but it did...it made our impending delivery "real".

Doctor Appointment Update
My doctor's appointment went great yesterday! I had a comprehensive ultrasound and the Twinks are doing fabulous! Baby A (now head-down on my right and the more active of the two) is weighing in at 5 lbs and Baby B (still with their head in my left rib and feet under my belly button) is at 5 lbs 4 oz.

My blood pressure was a little low (but still normal) and I lost 4 lbs, which means my total weight gain during the pregnancy is still hovering around 25 lbs total. The nurse still thinks it's water weight, so she's not concerned about the weight loss. My Heparin challenge tests all came back great - which tells them I am on the correct dose.

I am still dealing with severe nausea (Sunday night I was tossing-my-cookies all day and for 30 minutes straight before I went to bed), so they switched my nausea med to Promethazine (generic Phenergan). It's a medication that's also used to treat allergies, so it makes me tired. That's ok though - I'd rather be tired than nauseous. Interestingly, one of the side effects is nausea / vomiting. Go figure...


I think I've started having contractions this week - but not enough to start counting or timing.

We put in a request for a delivery date of 11/11/11, but it's not looking good. The one doctor on-call that day is the head of the practice (they usually have two doctors) and, because he is THE BEST Maternal Fetal Medicine OB in the city, he is in very high demand. It would be the equivalent of requesting Oprah to deliver your baby if she were an OB. Since I will only be 37 weeks, he may push me back a week - but the nurse said he likes delivering multiples, so maybe we we will get lucky and he'll agree to take my case. Fingers crossed for good news tomorrow. Even if they agree to an 11/11/11 delivery date, it doesn't mean the babies will wait until then. It just means that I will have a definite "end date." Will update with a firm delivery date as soon as I know more.

I asked the nurse about life after birth and one thing that I didn't realize is that even if I don't have to get up to feed the babies, I will still need to pump about every 3 hours for the first several weeks. I am sure this is easier than having to feed / diaper them too, but was hoping I could get a good 5-6 hours sleep. Oh, the sacrifices we make...(and this is just the beginning)!

Week 34: Yin & Yang

This week, the Twinks were Yin and Yang - Baby A (on the right who was usually lying horizontal across my lower abdomen) is now head down near my right hip, feet up in my right ribs. Baby B is head up near my left ribs and feet bent in an "L" position under my belly button. Occasionally, I will feel movement under my belly button and suddenly let out a gasp because I am sensitive there. I am sure it has startled my husband on more than one occasion.

My stomach has grown yet again, but between last week and this week something changed because my entire belly suddenly became hard. I suspect they grew and it's getting cramped in there. My bladder has less room and, once again, the kicks are getting stronger to where you can see my belly move (but are still not painful in any way).

My weight stayed stable this week (don't understand how, considering I have still been carb-loading), blood pressure was still normal, no signs of contractions and I am still battling SEVERE morning sickness, back pain and exhaustion most days. It's all good though...since I know it will be over in a flash!

I woke up multiple times Monday / Tuesday night sick-to-my-stomach, and yesterday (Tuesday) I didn't even feel like getting out of bed (but I did make it to LabCorp to take another Heparin challenge test). Last night the nausea was so bad again that I made a midnight trip to the drugstore to pick up Unisom Sleep Aid, and that finally mitigated my nausea and let me get some sleep.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I still have not packed my hospital bag. Maybe I am in denial? Maybe just no energy? Not sure why...

I have a comprehensive ultrasound and Dr. visit scheduled for next Monday (October 24) where they will measure the babies, estimate their weight and give me a date for my c-section.

My Dad suggested I call the hospital to ask if I will have a private room after delivery and I said that I thought so - based on the hospital tour we took several months ago. Just to be sure, I called and talked to a wonderful woman named Carolyn who has worked in the Labor & Delivery unit for 35 years! I think she almost laughed when I asked - as she said "They don't do shared rooms anymore! Even Denver Health (where most of the women are on Medicaid) have private rooms." Good to know!

Epigenetics
Now that we're getting close to a delivery date, I have started to wonder what the Twinks will look like physically. As many of you know, we used donor eggs and only got to see childhood pictures - so I have no idea what our donor looks like today. Based on these pictures, she looks very much like my first cousin on my Mom's side, but bears little resemblance to me.

A long time ago, I started to read about Epigenetics - which basically says that even though the DNA is set as soon as the sperm fertilizes the egg, because the embryo was carried in my uterus - I have an influence on our children. In other words if, hypothetically, the donor had gotten naturally pregnant by my DH, the kids would be different.

As I did my search this time, I came across Dr. Paul Knoepfler's post about stem cell Epigenetics that puts it in "layman's" terms:

http://www.ipscell.com/2011/09/a-laymans-guide-to-stem-cell-epigenetics-if-you-dont-understand-epigenetics-you-dont-understand-stem-cells/

In addition, I e-mailed him to ask his opinion:

Hi Dr. Knoepfler,
I am an IVF patient. My husband and I used donor eggs due to my age (43) and we are due soon with twins. We are over the moon excited!

In doing a search on Epigenetics, I came across your blog. Thank you for your research and contributions to our medical community. Maybe someday no couple will have to go through the difficulty and disappointment we did until these two miracle babies finally stuck!

I was curious, have you written any blog posts or done any research on how you think me carrying the fertilized embryos in my body could have influenced these babies vs if the donor had carried them in her body?

I realize the basic genetic makeup is what it is, but do you think my body has any influence at all?

Thanks,
Flygirl

Here is his response:

Hi Flygirl,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! These are great questions.

I think there is no doubt that epigenetics plays a huge role in every aspect of human development and health. What this means is that while there is a powerful genetic element to how babies develop, the environment in which a baby develops makes a tremendous difference too.

Another way to put it is that by your carrying these babies in your body you will have definitely put your own motherly "stamp" of influence on them that lasts a lifetime.

This influence can include things related to your diet, your overall health, your physiology, etc.

Scientists also think that there can sometimes be an exchange between mother and baby in utero of cells. What this means is not understood but I always thought it was kind of intriguing in a way that mother and child may swap a few cells. I think this happens more often from the child to the mother...so you can think that most likely you will always carry some of your child literally inside of you by having carried the baby yourself.

Take care,
Paul
 
So, there you have it. If they're anything like me, sugar will be addictive - worse than what I imagine crack cocaine to be, they will have a good balance between their logic and creativity, they will be a bit emotional and have a strong sense of integrity.

A 33-Week Update

Every day is one day closer to finally meeting our little miracle Twinks! Every time I see a small baby or a  set of twins while I am out and about (and I've seen lots lately), I can't wait. But, I also know that staying in-utero is the best for these little guys right now.

Last Saturday, my husband, me and our nanny took an "Infant Safety & CPR Class". The first 2/3 were mostly common sense - talking about the necessity for booster and car seats, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, the back-to-sleep campaign, baby proofing our home, etc. The last 1/3 was how to perform infant and child CPR. This was the part I found most useful because many things changed from when I had taken CPR many years ago.

The twinks kicking up a storm and you can now see my belly move when they move. Their Dad is a black-and-white kinda guy - no "maybe" or "grey" areas with him (which is why I waited until the HPT was definitely two bright pink lines to even tell him I was pregnant). Although I kept putting his hand on my belly where they were moving (usually down very low on my abdomen),  he kept saying he couldn't feel it. Finally, this week, he admitted he felt a kick. He is very stoic, so the picture that comes to mind is a Sandra Boynton furry monster jumping about an inch off the ground with a frown on his face saying "Rah." (I'd post a picture if I could, but I can't find one)

My doctors appointment went well this week. My weight went down 2.5 lbs and my blood pressure was 110/71. They also started giving me stress-tests this week.

As my nurse explained, when the babies are under lots of stress, unlike us - where our hearts speed up, babies' heart rates stay steady. So, they put three sensors on my belly - one to monitor each baby's movements and a third to check for contractions. The heartbeats were consistent with what we had seen in the past - one baby's heartbeat was 10-15 BPM faster than the other's - indicating I may be carrying boy/girl twins. Each time the baby the machine was "tuned-into" moved, I could hear a "scratching" sound on the monitor too. No signs of contractions!

They also switched my blood thinner from a once-a-day Lovenox shot to a twice-a-day Heparin shot. If I were to go into labor while on Lovenox, there is no "antidote" - so they would try to delay me as long as possible for delivery. With Heparin, they can "reverse" the effects and deliver me sooner.

My nurse asked me if I had packed an overnight bag yet and I told her I had not. She suggested I pack one because she said at any time, they could decide to send me to the hospital. Things she suggested I pack include:

Slippers
Robe
Two-piece PJ's (and the hospital gown my Mom made for me)
Personal Care Items (hairbrush, toothbrush, lip balm, toiletries)
Breast Pump (so they can show me how to use it)
Outfit for Each Twin to Come Home

For all you "experienced" Moms out there - anything I am missing from this list?

Yes, we're in the last few weeks and these babies will be here before we know it!

The Find....

I am quickly learning that staying home when you don't yet have a baby (or babies) to take care of is dangerous for the pocket book because I now have the time to scour the web for "necessities" that I see on sale.

For example, I have been told that in lieu of a diaper bag, many women find it easier to use a canvas tote - so yesterday I became aware of a sale at Land's End and found an extra-large, zippered tote in natural and brown (the color I would have ordered anyway) that was half-price at $25! Having a coupon for free shipping made it irresistible - so it's on it's way:

I was also reading a message board about restraining toddlers who are now walking and demand their independence - which also means "running away" from their parents in milli-seconds is a good idea!

The general opinion was that using harnesses for small children was perfectly acceptable - much better than putting any child in danger. In fact, many children feel "grown up" with their "backpack" on.

One woman talked about being in an airport bathroom and stopping a toddler who was in the stall with her Mom, ducked under the door and decided to explore on her own. Fortunately, the woman was able to cut the toddler off at the door while the Mom was pulling up her pants in a panic. Other parents told similar stories about how they had no doubt that having their kids attached to a harness saved their kids lives - multiple times.

Of course, an image immediately ran through my mind of being in a store by myself and having one Twink zig while the other zagged. So, even though we won't need them for at least 18 months, I searched for and saw the following two Gold Bug harnesses for less than half-price and ordered them:

I am also quickly learning that when you see something you really like for your babies, buy it - because you might not see it again. For example, a few months ago I saw a Fisher-Price 2-in-1 Swing & Rocker in Wal-Mart where the swing chair is detachable and converts into a free-standing rocker - so when the baby falls asleep, I could easily carry the baby to where I am working without having to wake him or her up. It was one of the last ones, so I bought it. Sure enough, they haven't restocked it and I haven't seen a detachable swing like it since.

Today, I met friend for lunch and was near my local Goodwill - so I stopped in for a gander. Since it's important for us to have a "library" from which to read to our children starting as soon as possible, I am always on the hunt for inexpensive children's books in good condition. Instead, I found the deal of the of the day! A hand-made ride-on wood horse for $13! The neck has a pin system that allows the toddler to swivel the front half and turn. It's clear some little child was very much loved by his Dad, Grandpa or Uncle (ok, maybe it's not right for me to assume a man made this - I am sure a woman can make this too - but it's comforting me to think about a grey-haired man in his workshop smiling while cutting, sanding, assembling, and staining)...and now our kids get to ride on it! (Can you tell I am excited?!)

If nothing else, it looks great in the nursery right now! Thank you mystery donor...we will LOVE this!

A 30-Something Week Update

It's time for another "me" update...

Well my ticker says I am at 34 weeks, but my nurse said I am at 31.5 weeks - so I am somewhere in the 30's with a due date of mid-November. You pick the week...
Last night I bought myself a last-minute ticket to see the Broadway touring production of "Hair" and Baby A was "singing and dancing" the entire three hours! Could it be that Baby A is a reincarnated "flower child"? Clearly I am now going to have to buy the soundtrack!

To stop working was definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made! If you are like me and are in agony over letting go of work vs. taking care of yourself during your pregnancy, I hope you will do the same. I promise you won't regret it!

While I feel like we won the Power Ball Lottery by being pregnant with twins and do not mean to complain, this pregnancy has taken a bigger toll on my physical energy than I ever imagined. I am still battling nausea most days and just walking the pups down the block requires effort I rarely have anymore. I am still sleeping at night, but having the flexibility to take a several-hour long nap in the afternoon is an activity I need and relish right now!


I set very small goals for myself each day, like running an errand, meeting a friend for lunch, doing a load of laundry, or going to the doctor. Sometimes these goals get done, and sometimes they don't. Either way, it's ok...right now I know I need to take each day as it comes, and there's always tomorrow.

Our current small project is to select a pediatrician. So far, we met with a woman who was a pediatric nurse for many years. She has two grown children of her own and liked what she was doing so much that she decided to go back and get her MD. This impressed me. We appreciated that her practice is close to our home, they have a Saturday am walk-in-clinic and they don't schedule healthy kids at the same time as sick children. Just to be sure we are making the right decision, we are planning to interview at least two more.
So far, things are going excellent. I am still seeing the nurse once-a-week and still haven't had any contractions (at least not that I recognized as contractions).  I was up .5 lb between this week and last week - so my total weight gain so far is 25.5 lbs - below average for twins. I am still within the normal range - so my nurse is ok with my progress.

Within the last few days, the kicks have gotten stronger again - to the point where I can sometimes tell the difference between which baby is kicking. Baby A (which is lower in my abdomen) is definitely more active than Baby B.

I received two more great pieces of news this week - I passed my most recent Lovenox challenge and glucose tolerance tests!


Lovenox is a daily blood thinner I take that helped me to carry this pregnancy in the first place. Each month, they test me to verify my body is processing the drug correctly. Very soon, I will be switching to another blood thinner called Heparin - because the Heparin is easier to reverse when I do go into labor. If I were to go into labor today, they would try to delay it as long as possible to give my body some time to express the Lovenox.
For those of you not familiar with the glucose tolerance test (often called "GTT"), when a woman is pregnant she is still producing insulin, but the insulin and blood sugar no longer know how to "play nice in the sandbox", so the woman has to watch her sugar intake like a hawk.

Since I am at a higher risk for diabetes (my Dad has type I and I started this pregnancy with a few - ok more than a few - extra pounds), I convinced my nurse to do a 30 week GTT. They wanted my blood sugar to be below 130 and last week mine came back at 135. Consequently, I had to do a three-hour test on Monday.


The three hour test involves fasting overnight, taking a baseline blood draw, drinking a beverage that is multiple times sweeter than Coke, and taking my blood at three-hour intervals. If I failed two of the four blood tests, I would have been on a severely restricted diet. Fortunately, I passed all four!!!
Based on these results, my nurse thinks that if I don't start having contractions and the Twinks stay put, I will deliver the week of November 14 and probably not on 11/11/11. That's ok - the longer they stay inside the better (and the faster they will sleep through the night).

Before closing, I'd like to give an extra special shout out to my nephew, who recently sent us a library of all his favorite books! It was such a surprise to open the boxes and see all the books that "Grandma C" has been telling us about like "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus", "Goodnight Moon" and "Spoon" who goes to visit his "Aunt Sliver" every Saturday! We know the Twinkies are going to love these stories too!