36 Weeks 3 Days - Update and Belly Pics

Now that we are close to delivery, these last couple of weeks are tough...

I was so sick on Sunday, that by evening (after my 4th or 5th session of tossing-my-cookies for 30-45 minutes each time), my husband called the doctor and they had me come into the hospital to pump fluids into me. This time we went to the correct hospital. I was so impressed by the staff and nurses. Since they knew we were on our way, they had all my records and read my history prior to our arrival. All I had to do was to confirm the details! It was such a pleasure to not have to go through my entire medical history again and again.

They hooked me up to monitors and confirmed, once again, the babies are fine and I am not having contractions. This time, their heartbeats were in the 130-140 range and 10-15 BPM apart again. They gave me another new drug for the nausea - Reglan - and so far it seems to be working. Despite some back pain and occasional, sudden cramps (because the babies are running out of room), I've felt pretty good the last two days.

Both babies have grown again. Within the last two weeks, I put back on 4 lbs and I can tell my belly is bigger again. I didn't have measurements this week, so I don't know what they are estimated to weigh, but I do have my last detailed ultrasound scheduled for next Monday (11/14/11).

Baby A's head (the one with his head typically in my right hip) curled around so that their head now sits by my left hip with their feet sticking up near my right ribs. Baby B's head is in my left ribs and is in the fetal position - with knees bent and feet near my belly button. It's as if Baby B is sitting right on top of Baby A's head.

I had my nurse take some belly shots: 

  

Meeting the Donor
Last night, I watched an interesting documentary on PBS called "Donor Unknown" about a teenage girl who wanted to meet her sperm donor.

It turns out that this guy donated hundreds of times (sometimes up to 4 times a week) and, even though the California Cryobank tell donors who ask that they will limit the number of children produced by any one donor, the director admitted they are in business to make money and it isn't true.

The girl registered on donorsiblingregistry.com and found what looked like to be 20 half-brothers and sisters scattered across the country. Several of them have met, and some of these kids met their donor.

At the time this guy donated, he was in his late 20's and was a model who performed in a male review. The clinic "embellished" his profile by adding things like saying he was a "dancer / actor" and  enjoyed karate and gymnastics. Instead of being the business executive, doctor or professor many of his children dreamed he would be, they discovered he is now a "beach bum" who does drugs recreationally, rescues animals and lives in a cluttered and dirty older mobile home in Venice Beach. Although the original girl who started to seek him out seems to be very accepting of his lifestyle and anticipates continuing a relationship with him, I wonder what the other kids and their parents really think.



Right now, I don't understand the instinctual drive some kids feel to meet their donors. When we went through IVF, the doctors gave us only a 5-10% chance of succeeding with my own eggs and the risk for genetic abnormalities was high. If we used donor eggs, we had an 85-95% chance of success and the genetic risks were substantially lower - so the decision was very easy.

I also wonder if her motivation to find her sperm donor and his family was largely motivated because she was raised by a lesbian couple (I did not point this out to get into a discussion of  if gay or lesbian couples make good parents - I am simply stating a fact). The girl explained that she had a good life and was raised by two parents who loved her deeply, but it was also implied that she was looking for the "father" and grandparents she never felt she had. In fact, several times during the documentary, she called the donor her "father".

I have never, for even a millisecond, once felt that these two miracles growing inside our body weren't my husband's and my children. They always were, are and always will be...regardless of genetics. My preference right now is that this never comes up, but if it ever does, I hope that if we are ever faced with that predicament, we will be strong enough to support our kids in what is right at the time.