Yesterday, I went to the gym and was reading a terrific book that was recommended to me by a friend for the New Year...
The Body Fat Solution by Tom Venuto.
So far, this book is unlike any other "diet" book I've ever read. It's as if it was written just for me...
I wouldn't even call it a diet book...
Basically, his premise is that you not only need to work on the physical, but you need to work on the root cause of why you think the way you do. One of my favorite quotes so far is something like this...
You can achieve your goals or make excuses, but you can't do both at the same time.
I understand these words are obvious, but to me, it was like a bolt of lightening. I've been repeating them to myself several times daily ever since I read them.
Yesterday, I was reading a section where he talks about sabotage and he relayed the following story:
One time a man was walking along the beach and say another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him. As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside.
"Why don't you cover your bait bucket so the crabs won't escape?", he said.
"You don't understand.", the man replied, "If there is one crab in the bucket it would surely crawl out very quickly. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, if one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them."
Instead of thinking about the crabs pulling me down, what came into my mind is all the wonderful women on the message boards and blogs who, knowing I have had trouble getting excited about this cycle, have been getting underneath me to lift me up and achieve our goal.
Today, I just wanted to say "Thank You"! :o)
Now, time to go to spin class...
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
The First Day of Life!
In exactly two weeks from today, we will be PUPO!
I can't help but think that if this could happen naturally, our child's life would have started right around this moment...
Welcome to the first day of life - little, precious Quant! Hope you're all snuggly in the freezer and we'll finally get to hold you in our arms about 9 months from today!
PS - The money came through yesterday. Haven't heard an update on the status of my family memeber....hope he made it through the night (unless he's in pain and uncomfortable).
I can't help but think that if this could happen naturally, our child's life would have started right around this moment...
Welcome to the first day of life - little, precious Quant! Hope you're all snuggly in the freezer and we'll finally get to hold you in our arms about 9 months from today!
PS - The money came through yesterday. Haven't heard an update on the status of my family memeber....hope he made it through the night (unless he's in pain and uncomfortable).
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Finances - A Strange Turn of Events... (WARNING - IMPENDING DEATH MENTIONED)
As anyone who is going through IVF and / or adoption knows, the process requires you to write some of the largest checks you'll probably ever write in your life.
Imagine putting a good chunk of your life savings down on a single blackjack hand in Vegas - then mix in a variety of drugs that cause stress, headaches, exhaustion, cramps, etc. and you've got a glimpse into the life of an IVF patient. On the adoption side, picture fees you've paid to an attorney, fees you've paid to an agency, fees you've paid to support one or two birth parents through their pregnancy - both emotionally and financially - the baby is born, then suddenly, they change their minds. You just sit stunned as you watch thousands of your hard-earned dollars sink down the drain....
So far, we've received no help from family on the financial front. Like many couples who long for a child, we've had to make sacrifices to start or family.
Back in December, as we were experiencing our latest-and-greatest miscarriage, we finally asked a family member for help. At this time, we thought our best hope was using a surrogate - which could cost in the neighborhood of $80-100k if working domestically. We wrote this family member a candid letter explaining what we've been through and what it would take to move forward. This family member wrote us a check to help us realize our dream. Yes, the check was generous, but only a miniscule fraction of what we've invested in IVF already and what we'd need to invest in the future to move forward with a surrogate.
Yesterday, I get a call from my Mom explaining that this family member (who is in their 90's) has been ill and the family is finally trying to distribute some of the estate. However, the family member is on-the-mend and doing ok. Based on her message, it sounds like this distribution was a precautionary measure.
Today, I get a nasty-gram from Mom explaining the instructions my financial institution provided me yesterday were not clear enough and to please forward new instructions. So, I called my broker today to have him give her the information.
Long story, short - this family member is hours away from death and the transfer now has to happen immediately. If it doesn't happen before this family member passes, I will lose out.
Please keep your fingers crossed for us today...
PS - I hope you will not misunderstand my post and think all I care about is the money. I am very sorry to see this family member pass, it is the end of their generation.
This person lived a very long, happy, healthy and productive life and will be missed. My point in telling this story is that life has a strange way of working out and at this moment, it would be very disappointing if we didn't have this money to help us start our family because of the timing of one event before the other. This money could be put to such a wonderful use - a true living legacy.
Imagine putting a good chunk of your life savings down on a single blackjack hand in Vegas - then mix in a variety of drugs that cause stress, headaches, exhaustion, cramps, etc. and you've got a glimpse into the life of an IVF patient. On the adoption side, picture fees you've paid to an attorney, fees you've paid to an agency, fees you've paid to support one or two birth parents through their pregnancy - both emotionally and financially - the baby is born, then suddenly, they change their minds. You just sit stunned as you watch thousands of your hard-earned dollars sink down the drain....
So far, we've received no help from family on the financial front. Like many couples who long for a child, we've had to make sacrifices to start or family.
Back in December, as we were experiencing our latest-and-greatest miscarriage, we finally asked a family member for help. At this time, we thought our best hope was using a surrogate - which could cost in the neighborhood of $80-100k if working domestically. We wrote this family member a candid letter explaining what we've been through and what it would take to move forward. This family member wrote us a check to help us realize our dream. Yes, the check was generous, but only a miniscule fraction of what we've invested in IVF already and what we'd need to invest in the future to move forward with a surrogate.
Yesterday, I get a call from my Mom explaining that this family member (who is in their 90's) has been ill and the family is finally trying to distribute some of the estate. However, the family member is on-the-mend and doing ok. Based on her message, it sounds like this distribution was a precautionary measure.
Today, I get a nasty-gram from Mom explaining the instructions my financial institution provided me yesterday were not clear enough and to please forward new instructions. So, I called my broker today to have him give her the information.
Long story, short - this family member is hours away from death and the transfer now has to happen immediately. If it doesn't happen before this family member passes, I will lose out.
Please keep your fingers crossed for us today...
PS - I hope you will not misunderstand my post and think all I care about is the money. I am very sorry to see this family member pass, it is the end of their generation.
This person lived a very long, happy, healthy and productive life and will be missed. My point in telling this story is that life has a strange way of working out and at this moment, it would be very disappointing if we didn't have this money to help us start our family because of the timing of one event before the other. This money could be put to such a wonderful use - a true living legacy.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Life in Lupron Land...
Most IVF patients are put on Lupron at some point during their cycle. Lupron is a hormonal agent that significantly reduces estrogen levels. The medication works in two distinct phases. Phase one stimulates the ovaries causing them to produce more estradiol, the most potent of the three estrogens produced by women. In phase two, the messenger hormones that tell the ovaries to produce estrogen decline dramatically. The resulting drop in estrogen causes women to experience menopause-like side effects.
Last time, I was wired - couldn't sleep, had lots of energy (would go to bed around 9:30, be awake between 1-4 am and complete tasks around the house - then get up for work at 6 and feel wide-awake and refreshed). This time I'm having the complete opposite side effects...headaches that come suddenly and don't want to get out of bed in the morning.
Wonder if it had nothing to do with the Lupron, but more to do with the season (last time I was taking it was the middle of summer).
Who knows?
Either way, won't miss coming off the lupron in about 18 days!
Last time, I was wired - couldn't sleep, had lots of energy (would go to bed around 9:30, be awake between 1-4 am and complete tasks around the house - then get up for work at 6 and feel wide-awake and refreshed). This time I'm having the complete opposite side effects...headaches that come suddenly and don't want to get out of bed in the morning.
Wonder if it had nothing to do with the Lupron, but more to do with the season (last time I was taking it was the middle of summer).
Who knows?
Either way, won't miss coming off the lupron in about 18 days!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Something New...
The new year is all about trying new things, so today I did just that...
I took a photography class - something I've never done before. It was so much fun! Here are some of my favorite shots.
Enjoy!
I took a photography class - something I've never done before. It was so much fun! Here are some of my favorite shots.
Enjoy!
\
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Day, New Year, New Opportunitites! Let the Hormones Begin!
Happy 1.1.11 (hope all those 1's are lucky in a culture somewhere around the world)! I hope that 2011 is the year of opportunity and that me and my husband finally get to hold our new baby in our arms before this time next year!
Earlier this week, I got a new, sassy haircut (about 6" shorter, A-line), bought some new clothes, went to the gym a couple times and am ready to take on the New Year!
First thing this morning, I decreased my Lupron to 5 units, and stuck on my first Vivelle patch since October. Welcome back, old friend...the game has officially begun!
Yesterday, my good friend Deborah called just to say "hello". Even though we only met recently, it was like we knew one another for a long, long time and became instant friends. She lifted my spirits and sounded excited about the new year herself. She asked me what day our FET was and I told her Friday, January 21st. And she said, "that's a good day...it's my birthday! I'll definitely be thinking of you." What a thoughtful and caring person - so glad I have her in my life!
I picked the day because it was a Friday (so it would be easier to do bed rest on Saturday - my DH will be home) and it was the day we celebrated my grandfather's birthday (they don't actually know when he was born since they "lost" his birth certificate and think his parents switched his birthday so he could start school earlier),
He passed away several years ago, but lived a long and healthy life. His mind was sharp as a tack and he completed the New York Times Crossword Puzzle every week - even the week he passed. I have fond memories of him taking us deep-sea fishing on his friend's boat, going out to dinner and having brunch at my grandparents house at least twice a week, and sitting in his lap as he read me solve the "easy" clues in the Sunday crossword puzzle.
Today, I am going to work some more on our adoption profile book and try to complete the initial application so that we can begin to submit the paperwork this week. It's what I need right now to keep my mind off my FET.
Hopefully, both embryos will take, we will withdraw our application, be out a few thousand dollars and live life to the fullest with our twinkies. Or, one embryo will take and we will adopt simultaneously. My FET will not be successful, but the adoption will and we will still be holding our baby in our arms by this time next year (or very shortly thereafter). Whatever happens, sounds like a win-win to me!
If you can handle reading about a pregnancy announcement, this one is truly beautiful. It will make your heart smile.
http://wantedonegoodembryo.blogspot.com/2010/12/introducing-new-ccrmer-and-de.html
Earlier this week, I got a new, sassy haircut (about 6" shorter, A-line), bought some new clothes, went to the gym a couple times and am ready to take on the New Year!
First thing this morning, I decreased my Lupron to 5 units, and stuck on my first Vivelle patch since October. Welcome back, old friend...the game has officially begun!
Yesterday, my good friend Deborah called just to say "hello". Even though we only met recently, it was like we knew one another for a long, long time and became instant friends. She lifted my spirits and sounded excited about the new year herself. She asked me what day our FET was and I told her Friday, January 21st. And she said, "that's a good day...it's my birthday! I'll definitely be thinking of you." What a thoughtful and caring person - so glad I have her in my life!
I picked the day because it was a Friday (so it would be easier to do bed rest on Saturday - my DH will be home) and it was the day we celebrated my grandfather's birthday (they don't actually know when he was born since they "lost" his birth certificate and think his parents switched his birthday so he could start school earlier),
He passed away several years ago, but lived a long and healthy life. His mind was sharp as a tack and he completed the New York Times Crossword Puzzle every week - even the week he passed. I have fond memories of him taking us deep-sea fishing on his friend's boat, going out to dinner and having brunch at my grandparents house at least twice a week, and sitting in his lap as he read me solve the "easy" clues in the Sunday crossword puzzle.
 | |||
| The last picture I took of my grandparents |
Hopefully, both embryos will take, we will withdraw our application, be out a few thousand dollars and live life to the fullest with our twinkies. Or, one embryo will take and we will adopt simultaneously. My FET will not be successful, but the adoption will and we will still be holding our baby in our arms by this time next year (or very shortly thereafter). Whatever happens, sounds like a win-win to me!
If you can handle reading about a pregnancy announcement, this one is truly beautiful. It will make your heart smile.
http://wantedonegoodembryo.blogspot.com/2010/12/introducing-new-ccrmer-and-de.html
Friday, December 31, 2010
A New Year, A New Start...
So, it's December 31st and I am ready for a new start. Going to give this blogging thing another chance...
Here's the 60-second synopsis of our September (3rd IVF) cycle...
Donor's cycle was off-the-charts: 42 follicles, 28 eggs, 22 mature, lots fertilized, ended up with 17 viable embryos. Transferred 2, froze 15
The Tests: First beta had us excited. It was 240 at 9dp5dt and kept rising 150% the first several betas. E2 and P4 started strong too. Finally - maybe, just maybe, success!
The Night Before My U/S: IVF women are crazy - we'll try almost anything if we hear it worked for someone else. Spin around three times clockwise and three counter-clockwise right after your feet touch the floor in the morning? I can do that! Only clip your fingernail when the moon is 1/4 full and rising in the southwest? Why not? As time goes on, the suggested remedies get more extreme: Hang dried moose poop over our bed for 30-nights? No problem! Drink a concoction that tastes like a combination of mustard and peanut butter? Sign me up!
Yes - I had tried accupuncture - got a BFN - then got a BFP on my subsequent cycle without acupuncture, then went back to acupuncture for this latest cycle and got a BFP. Did acupuncture have anything to do with it? Not sure...but don't think so.
One day, I came across an interview with a leading hypnofertility specialist. A couple months later, I read a blog written by a woman who had been through 6 IVFs and cycled at my clinic. She saw this same hypnofertility expert and her 7th IVF cycle was finally "THE ONE". Not only that, but this specialist was right here, in my own hometown! BINGO!!!! It's definitely a sign and ssomething I can do to finally take control!!!
So, we shelled out another mini-mountain of money for four sessions. I used three and still had one left...again, maybe this was meant to be! The night before my u/s, as she put me into a relaxing trance, I swear I could feel the baby inside of me. I was 100% positive we would see a miracle on the u/s screen in a little over 12 hours later. I went to bed dreaming of the baby growing inside me.
The End: Like before, P4 started dropping. Doctor S was not worried and even told me "You "ARE" going to have this baby." By the time we got to the first ultrasound, the heartbeat was so faint that only the u/s tech could see it. They told me to stay on the drugs one more week - just to be sure. This week was worse than anything I had experienced in my life. Each day the tears flowed freely just waiting for it to be over already. I finally had a D&C on November 3.
The hormones and disappointment was so bad that I cried constantly for about 3 more weeks - until one day there were no more tears left. Then, I went to Italy for two weeks...and indulged - woke up late every morning, ate pasta or pizza every day, lingered in the museums.
A la "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "Eat, Pray, Love", what is it about Italy (especially Tuscany) that helps American women begin to heal their spirit and rediscover life? I'm sure the pear and ricotta ravioli in creme sauce and a daily dose of gellato didn't hurt!
What's happened since?
I guess IVF is like baseball and court - they go by the 3-strike rule. Women have to suffer through 3 miscarriages before the insurance companies will take you seriously and pay for testing. Never mind the years and years of therapy it will take us to get over our "broken" bodies! Grrrrr!
What might be different if women were the CEO's of insurance companies - espeically a couple that have travelled this road only to find failure? Ok...rant for another day...
Getting back to the story, we tested the tissue of our last fetus and it came back as a normal female. I know some of you are thinking - normal female doesn't mean a conclusive result because it was probably my own tissue. Whether that's the case or not - I am going to trust my geneticist (whom I adore) and believe in my mind that the test was conclusive.
Next, they ran a full thrombophilia panel on me. My results showed positive for MTHFR genes (with normal homocystine - which means that the MTHFR shouldn't have an effect on pregnancy) and positive for Lupus Anticoagulant.
In a nutshell, this means that the nutrition a placenta needs to sustain itself isn't getting where it needs to be. In simpler terms - my fetus' are being smothered and starved to death.
My geneticist said that if I were his daughter, he'd advise me to give it one more shot but, if it doesn't work - think about another way to find our children. In one meeting, Dr. S said that he didn't believe in autoimmune issues, but he's willing to put me on Lovenox (a blood thinner) for one more try. In a subsequent meeting, I related the "one more shot" theory to him and he said - you're giving up much easier than me. You 've got lots of frosties and that will give you lots of tries. HELLO?!!! REMEMBER THERE'S A BODY WE PUMP FULL OF DRUGS ATTACHED TO THE UTERUS!!! NOT TO MENTION THE EVER-SHRINKING BANK ACCOUNT!!!
Where are we today?
We've decided to give it one more shot with a two-embryo FET cycle scheduled for January 21.
I could have cycled on the 18th, but the 21st is a Friday (so don't have to explain to work about taking off to do bedrest again) and it was my Grandfather's birthday (he passed several years ago).
I was on BCPs since December 9th, started back on a daily pre-natal vitamin and baby aspirin (will be on the aspirin for the rest of my life due to my clotting issues), added two daily super-chared B4, B6, B12, and Folate pills. Started Lupron shots in mid-December.
My AF arrived right on time, so all systems are go to really start getting into gear on New Year's Day - decrease lupron to 5mg tomorrow and start on estrogen patches.
Emotionally, I'm really struggling with getting excited about this cycle. I feel like I'm going through the motions...
Like most women going through IVF, I've become obsessive and need to have a plan for the future. So, my husband and I started taking action in December.
We attended a foster-care orientation and that only further convinced me that I am not foster-care-parent material. Still, we are going to go through the training because it can only increase our knowledge to become parents.
I also convinced my husband to start going back to church on Sundays. I'd describe my own beliefs as somewhere between atheist and agnostic -but have no objections to raising our child catholic as long as my husband bears the brunt of the responsibility. To get him started, I agreed to go to church with him. After Church, he sat down with a deacon to ask what the procedure was to join the parrish (from what we got out of our conversation, all you have to do is fill out a form and you're in).
Eventually, the conversation quickly turned to children and we mentioned that we've struggled to start our family (without giving details). The deacon turned to us and said "I think I can help! We have anatural family planning class starting early next year that teaches you things like how to time your relations." An angel must have been sitting on my shoulder that day because I think I was successful in hiding my hysterical laughter! That one goes down with the doctor who asks a long-time infertility patient how she plans to handle birth control after she finally decides to call it quits!
We did meet with an adoption attorney who is very experienced in our state and he gave us hope. He referred us to another private adoption agency and we met with the director yesterday. It costs a fortune - but what doesn't in this business, right?
I haven't admitted this to anyone yet, but I am more confident about working with this agency than about my upcoming FET cycle. My husband and I agreed that we're going to submit our applicatoin next week - no matter what happens.
I can't help but think that Murphy's Law will come into play and we'll end up pregnant as we go through the adoption process (maybe even with twins - in which case we'll withdraw our application)...fingers crossed that we'll be so lucky.
A toast to 2011! Cheers!
Here's the 60-second synopsis of our September (3rd IVF) cycle...
Donor's cycle was off-the-charts: 42 follicles, 28 eggs, 22 mature, lots fertilized, ended up with 17 viable embryos. Transferred 2, froze 15
The Tests: First beta had us excited. It was 240 at 9dp5dt and kept rising 150% the first several betas. E2 and P4 started strong too. Finally - maybe, just maybe, success!
The Night Before My U/S: IVF women are crazy - we'll try almost anything if we hear it worked for someone else. Spin around three times clockwise and three counter-clockwise right after your feet touch the floor in the morning? I can do that! Only clip your fingernail when the moon is 1/4 full and rising in the southwest? Why not? As time goes on, the suggested remedies get more extreme: Hang dried moose poop over our bed for 30-nights? No problem! Drink a concoction that tastes like a combination of mustard and peanut butter? Sign me up!
Yes - I had tried accupuncture - got a BFN - then got a BFP on my subsequent cycle without acupuncture, then went back to acupuncture for this latest cycle and got a BFP. Did acupuncture have anything to do with it? Not sure...but don't think so.
One day, I came across an interview with a leading hypnofertility specialist. A couple months later, I read a blog written by a woman who had been through 6 IVFs and cycled at my clinic. She saw this same hypnofertility expert and her 7th IVF cycle was finally "THE ONE". Not only that, but this specialist was right here, in my own hometown! BINGO!!!! It's definitely a sign and ssomething I can do to finally take control!!!
So, we shelled out another mini-mountain of money for four sessions. I used three and still had one left...again, maybe this was meant to be! The night before my u/s, as she put me into a relaxing trance, I swear I could feel the baby inside of me. I was 100% positive we would see a miracle on the u/s screen in a little over 12 hours later. I went to bed dreaming of the baby growing inside me.
The End: Like before, P4 started dropping. Doctor S was not worried and even told me "You "ARE" going to have this baby." By the time we got to the first ultrasound, the heartbeat was so faint that only the u/s tech could see it. They told me to stay on the drugs one more week - just to be sure. This week was worse than anything I had experienced in my life. Each day the tears flowed freely just waiting for it to be over already. I finally had a D&C on November 3.
The hormones and disappointment was so bad that I cried constantly for about 3 more weeks - until one day there were no more tears left. Then, I went to Italy for two weeks...and indulged - woke up late every morning, ate pasta or pizza every day, lingered in the museums.
A la "Under the Tuscan Sun" and "Eat, Pray, Love", what is it about Italy (especially Tuscany) that helps American women begin to heal their spirit and rediscover life? I'm sure the pear and ricotta ravioli in creme sauce and a daily dose of gellato didn't hurt!
What's happened since?
I guess IVF is like baseball and court - they go by the 3-strike rule. Women have to suffer through 3 miscarriages before the insurance companies will take you seriously and pay for testing. Never mind the years and years of therapy it will take us to get over our "broken" bodies! Grrrrr!
What might be different if women were the CEO's of insurance companies - espeically a couple that have travelled this road only to find failure? Ok...rant for another day...
Getting back to the story, we tested the tissue of our last fetus and it came back as a normal female. I know some of you are thinking - normal female doesn't mean a conclusive result because it was probably my own tissue. Whether that's the case or not - I am going to trust my geneticist (whom I adore) and believe in my mind that the test was conclusive.
Next, they ran a full thrombophilia panel on me. My results showed positive for MTHFR genes (with normal homocystine - which means that the MTHFR shouldn't have an effect on pregnancy) and positive for Lupus Anticoagulant.
In a nutshell, this means that the nutrition a placenta needs to sustain itself isn't getting where it needs to be. In simpler terms - my fetus' are being smothered and starved to death.
My geneticist said that if I were his daughter, he'd advise me to give it one more shot but, if it doesn't work - think about another way to find our children. In one meeting, Dr. S said that he didn't believe in autoimmune issues, but he's willing to put me on Lovenox (a blood thinner) for one more try. In a subsequent meeting, I related the "one more shot" theory to him and he said - you're giving up much easier than me. You 've got lots of frosties and that will give you lots of tries. HELLO?!!! REMEMBER THERE'S A BODY WE PUMP FULL OF DRUGS ATTACHED TO THE UTERUS!!! NOT TO MENTION THE EVER-SHRINKING BANK ACCOUNT!!!
Where are we today?
We've decided to give it one more shot with a two-embryo FET cycle scheduled for January 21.
I could have cycled on the 18th, but the 21st is a Friday (so don't have to explain to work about taking off to do bedrest again) and it was my Grandfather's birthday (he passed several years ago).
I was on BCPs since December 9th, started back on a daily pre-natal vitamin and baby aspirin (will be on the aspirin for the rest of my life due to my clotting issues), added two daily super-chared B4, B6, B12, and Folate pills. Started Lupron shots in mid-December.
My AF arrived right on time, so all systems are go to really start getting into gear on New Year's Day - decrease lupron to 5mg tomorrow and start on estrogen patches.
Emotionally, I'm really struggling with getting excited about this cycle. I feel like I'm going through the motions...
Like most women going through IVF, I've become obsessive and need to have a plan for the future. So, my husband and I started taking action in December.
We attended a foster-care orientation and that only further convinced me that I am not foster-care-parent material. Still, we are going to go through the training because it can only increase our knowledge to become parents.
I also convinced my husband to start going back to church on Sundays. I'd describe my own beliefs as somewhere between atheist and agnostic -but have no objections to raising our child catholic as long as my husband bears the brunt of the responsibility. To get him started, I agreed to go to church with him. After Church, he sat down with a deacon to ask what the procedure was to join the parrish (from what we got out of our conversation, all you have to do is fill out a form and you're in).
Eventually, the conversation quickly turned to children and we mentioned that we've struggled to start our family (without giving details). The deacon turned to us and said "I think I can help! We have anatural family planning class starting early next year that teaches you things like how to time your relations." An angel must have been sitting on my shoulder that day because I think I was successful in hiding my hysterical laughter! That one goes down with the doctor who asks a long-time infertility patient how she plans to handle birth control after she finally decides to call it quits!
We did meet with an adoption attorney who is very experienced in our state and he gave us hope. He referred us to another private adoption agency and we met with the director yesterday. It costs a fortune - but what doesn't in this business, right?
I haven't admitted this to anyone yet, but I am more confident about working with this agency than about my upcoming FET cycle. My husband and I agreed that we're going to submit our applicatoin next week - no matter what happens.
I can't help but think that Murphy's Law will come into play and we'll end up pregnant as we go through the adoption process (maybe even with twins - in which case we'll withdraw our application)...fingers crossed that we'll be so lucky.
A toast to 2011! Cheers!