Harder Than a Pregnancy Announcement or a Baby Shower...

We've all been there...

We're on the drugs or waiting for our bodies to cooperate or are just getting past seeing good 'ol Aunt Flo rear her ugly head again - when suddenly we're on Facebook or get a call from a friend or relative..."We're Pregnant - aren't you just over the moon happy for us?!!!!"

For the most part, I have taken these announcements in stride. I've been happy for my friends and family and convinced myself that our turn will come someday and I'll be on the other end. Yesterday, though, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as part of this journey...

To qualify for adoption, we were required to take a newborn care class. Yes, I guess we could have had someone come to our house to do the class privately, but we live about 2 miles from a hospital and they were offering a class on Saturday - so it seemed convenient and easy.

The instructor opened the class with "Hi! Welcome. Let's all introduce ourselves and tell the class what we're having and when we're due!" Everyone in the class was pregnant - EVEN THE INSTRUCTOR (an RN who works in the maternity ward who's due in April with her second)! Not one single other adoptive couple out of the 20 couples in the class. Talk about feeling like a freakish alien with three heads, six arms and nine legs! It was so humiliating...

The one redeeming fact was that after class, we got to talk to talk to the instructor one-on-one about some resources to start spreading the word. She gave us the names of several people to contact who may be able to help us find a birth mother.

I'm a little hesitant (but at the same time, immensely impatient) to begin advertising, but clearly I need to wait to:

1. Ensure our approval is nearly finished because it would be terrible to find a birth mom who is giving birth very soon / gave birth very recently and not be able to finalize the adoption because our paperwork isn't done yet.

2. See what happens with our FET. It would be a true miracle if the Lovenox is the thing that will help us...

We had our second homestudy earlier this week (which was strange because the director did most of the talking) and have our third (and final pre-adoption one) scheduled for mid-March. This means that we should be eligible to be shown to prospective birth moms in late-March / early April.

In the meantime, I am getting all my ducks-in-a-row - established an 800 number, building a website, creating ad flyers, etc. In early April, I'll no doubt be ready to hit the ground running with our own birth mom search. Performing these tasks is helping me keep my sanity because it's the few things in this process that I can control.

Each year, I invite my friends to join us to try out a new restaurant for our city's restaurant week. Last night, we went to a wonderful little gourmet restaurant where they cook organically and everything is fresh from farm-to-table. It was delicious. Since everyone but one couple knew we are now pursuing adoption, I brought my profile book - because most of my friends had only seen it online. Well, guess what...the one couple who didn't know our story has started to adopt too. I was in shock...I never would have suspected it. Now I have a companion on this journey. Strange how something so painful could have happened earlier in the day, but something so wonderful happened later the same evening!

On the IVF front, I started Lupron earlier this week and took my last birth control pill FOREVER today.

So far, the lupron hasn't been too bad...my first IVF cycle, it had me wired. My "false" IVF cycle, it gave me headaches and had me tired. This time, I think I'm going back to the insomnia route - I went to bed at midnight and was wide awake at 4:15 am.

I am a little less than a month from being PUPO...c'mon March. Hurry up!