So far, I think I've been pretty good at being a new Mom of twins (wonder how long I'll to use the phrase "new Mom." Is there a statute of limitations?).
After working so hard for this, I am completely in love and have a bad case of the "get to's" vs. the "have to's":
I get to change their diapers and make them feel comfortable and dry!
I get to do laundry for them and change them into clean clothes!
I get to prepare bottles for them, feed them and give them nourishment!
I get to guess what's going to make them stop crying!
I get to wrap them up and soothe them to sleep!
I get to massage their tiny, soft feet!
I get to kiss the tops of their heads and soft cheeks!
I remember every millisecond that if my very last IVF failed and they weren't here, I wouldn't get to do any of these things.
I've generally been able to handle two babies crying at the same time and am slowly learning to "talk F&G" and understand what they're trying to tell me. I've learned that F hates having his hands swaddled, dislikes a dirty diaper and wants to eat every 2 - 2.5 hours. G could stay in the same wet and poopy diaper all day, loves to snuggle and would happily snooze for eight hours straight (don't worry - I would never "starve" her or let her sit in a dirty diaper).
Where I am really struggling is in the milk production department. I never thought I would be able to breast feed exclusively, but I also thought that I would at least be able to do a decent job at supplementing their meals.
In addition to me knowing that breast milk is best, I am LOVING the "weight loss effect." So far, I weigh 10 lbs less than when I started my pregnancy (and I still have some swelling, so I expect it to continue for a bit). Don't misunderstand - I still have lots of weight to lose (3 years of infertility treatments had me starting my pregnancy about 50 lbs. overweight, and I would now like to get that weight off me too - once and for all)!
Despite being on Regalan to help increase my milk supply and jumping on the pump several times a day, my milk continues to refuse to come in like it should. Within a 24-hour period, I am averaging right around 100 ml - no where close enough to feed one, let alone two babies.
Yesterday, I started to have my first mini-meltdown. I was on the pump for 30 minutes and produced some ridiculously low amount of milk - like only 5 ml. My husband could tell I was losing it...but there wasn't much he could do. I think only an IVF patient would understand.
A woman's body is "supposed" to be able to produce nourishment for her baby - why can't mine? I feel like my body is broken again and I am close to giving up. It's so frustrating.
I talked to my nurse on Tuesday and she said I needed to pump more often and suggested I nurse the babies. I also called my health care provider's nurse line and the consultant had several additional suggestions:
- Drink 3 glasses of milk a day
- Eat an egg at breakfast
- Take two naps during the day (yeah, right - I'll try, but I don't think she had twins...)
- Drink more water
- Nurse the babies at my breast
She said I should see an increase within 24 hours and, so far, nada.
As they say in the song "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof, "...we have traditions
for everything -- how to sleep, how to eat, how to work, how to wear clothes."
So, if any of you know the prayer or any other tricks to bring in my breast milk, please let me know.
9 comments:
Hoping the milk truck makes its delivery ASAP! And I love how you have re-phrased the constant demands of a newborn...love it!! Take care!!
Pump more often, not longer. 30 minutes is a REALLY long time and it's not more productive that way... I would break it into 3 ten minute sessions spread out, or 2 15 minute sessions at the most. The Lactation Consultants I saw thought that 8-9 times was minimum number of times to pump if your baby is not nursing or not nursing well/efficiently yet, for 10 minutes or so each time, not more than 15 minutes. If you shoot for 2 hrs between sessions during the day, then you can give yourself a 4 hr stretch at night, but they cautioned not to go longer than that while you're trying to get your milk in. That's a pretty rigorous schedule, but it really worked well. When I got the go ahead to feed my son at the breast, I kept up the pumping and just did it after every feeding... that ended up bringing in my milk with a vengeance to the point that it is too much for one baby. It's very supply and demand oriented, so the more you can demand of your breasts, the more milk you'll make.
Also, massage your breasts before/during pumping - it may help you get more out of your breasts from the pump.
You may also be one of those women who do not let down well for the pump, so the pump is not an idnicator of your actual supply. You should still pump because it will increase your supply, like any nipple stimulation will, but your babies will be better than the pump at getting the milk out. I totally agree with that advice. Put a baby to the breast, and then pump afterwards.
You can also try hand expression instead and see if that works better for you. Youtube has videos if your nurse didn't show you how.
Oatmeal has a lot of anectdotal evidence as a supply increaser. Real oatmeal, not instant. Eat a big bowl for breakfast, maybe add some oatmeal cookies as a snack. DO eat enough - that amount of weight loss suggests that your body might be skimping on the milk production because it's not having enough calories overall.
A lot of people also swear by fenugreek - either in a tea (sold as mother's milk tea or whatever) or pill or tincture form. I don't have much experience because the crazy frequent pumping worked well on its own.
Are you engorged? I.e. are your breasts firm and feeling like they're going to explode? If so, hot compresses (or hot showers, or any other kind of heat, especially moist heat) before and during feeding/pumping sessions, and ice immediately after... and consider taking ibuprofen to reduce the inflammation. That WILL get better over a couple of days, and is a reason why you might not be getting much out of your breast. Try to hand express in the shower if things are really swollen. You can't collect the milk, but you can help relieve the engorgement faster, so that your baby/pump can get milk out.
Oh my gosh you must be a busy woman! It's amazing how difficult the breast feeding thing seems to be for most women - one would think that Nature would make it easier? But it seems like you're getting there and hopefully with a little patience you'll get that supply up.
Keep writing (if you can find the time!), I love hearing about your twins!
PS - engorgement if you are having it means that you get little out of your breasts at the time due to the swelling constricting things, but is an indicator that your milk supply is going to be super-awesome abundant when you get over the engorgement... the engorgement is worse when you have a more abundant supply coming in. My left breast was nearly killing me, barely getting anything out of the pump and the baby was raging at it and refusing to latch... and now it's producing 150 mls in 10 minutes. So don't give up.
Lisa - Hope you are having a wonderful time on vacation.
Newbie - So happy I found your blog!
Guinevere - A HUGE thank you for your lengthy reply and encouragement. I don't think my breasts are engorged (they're on the larger side - so maybe lots and lots of room in them)? What you said makes sense - less time and mire often. I'll try that. My nurse mentioned fenugreek too, so I guess that's worth a try also.
Good luck! I'm having supply problems with my daughter too; tomorrow we're seeing our third lactation consultant in as many weeks as she's been alive, because she just won't latch (haven't successfully nursed since last Sunday), and my production while pumping (I do 10 min. per breast after every time I feed her a bottle) has plumetted; I now get barely 5-6ml per session. And since pumping isn't doing the trick and Gwen's not nursing, I've developed a blocked duct on one side, which is not fun. Again, good luck, and I hope you can get things to work out!
That sounds super stressful Flygirl - the breast feeding part. I'm sure it will come - try and be easy on yourself.
So wonderful to see you taking what other women would find stressful about having twins, as a gift. It's really beautiful to read. Lots of women can't even breast feed after birth....so don't beat your IVF self up. They don't have milk come down or they run out very quickly. Try the new methods advised and have faith. Drinking lots of water and milk should help. Good luck!
You're so welcome! I really hope you can soldier through this and keep your spirits up. I do think that any amount of breastmilk that you are getting into your babies, however you do it, is beneficial... and formula is not the end of the world at all!
You might consider trying to feed them via a SNS some of the time if you are supplementing - it means that your baby is getting formula, but they're getting it at the breast, and stimulating your breasts/getting your milk at the same time. That's especially useful if you're not someone who pumps well.
Do you have a hospital grade pump? Is your pump new?
And I second the other commenter's lactation consultant suggestion. It might be really helpful, for example, to do a before-and-after weight on whichever one of the twins nurses/latches better, to see how much they can actually get from you, because the pump might not be working as well for you as they do. The nursery at the hospital did this often for me and it helped reassure me that things were actually coming out of my breasts during feeding sessions!
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