The Circle of Life...or Maybe a Squiggly?

As I think some of you know already, I've been in New York the last week attending to family matters..

My relative did pass on Saturday night and I flew in to attend the funeral. It's disappointing that he gave us a gift in December to help us out and he won't ever get to see the legacy he's going to leave by helping us start our family. I don't understand the circle of life - why couldn't he have lived to meet our child? My mom said it best during the eulogy - he lived 93 years and it wasn't long enough.

Due to the snowstorm in Manhattan, I was delayed a day and my ultrasound was rescheduled for today. It was one of those Murphy's Law kind of experiences.

They were looking for my lining to be less than 7mm and it turned out to be 10mm. In addition, the ultrasound tech saw what looked like polyps coming back. So, even though I had a hysteroscopy less than a month ago and "everything looked great" - my uterus has basically gone to hell yet again. I will speak to the nurse on Monday, but at this point I am very discouraged.

On one hand, we already allocated money to our FSA account to cover the cost of 1-2 frozen cycles this year - so if we don't spend the $$, we'll lose it. On the other hand, if I have another D&C, I'll have to wait 3 more months to heal and there's no guarantee that my uterus and lining will cooperate and that the scar tissue and polyps won't get in the way or crop up again in May. It's so hard to know what to do.

I asked if, given my history, they'd ever consider transferring more than two embryos and the nurse said that in very rare circumstances, like mine, they might consider transferring three. I'll have to wait for Monday to see what they say.

On the Adoption Front...
Our profile books arrived on Friday and they look great! Our references told us they received paperwork to complete and two of three returned it already.

We have our first home study interview this Thursday. All-in-all, pretty exciting stuff!

More Details on My Trip to NY...
I stayed with my husband's cousin and his wife - who happen to have bought a beautiful English-style Tudor home one block from where my mom grew up (and in the same hometown where I was raised). It was wonderful spending time with them since I see them so rarely. They have been going through infertility too - and have basically taken a long (maybe permanent?) break. In the meantime, they added a goldendoodle to their family who recently turned one-year-old. Their dog is adorable...

By coincidence, I call my male dog "mush" because he is just like a big, fluffy, living stuffed animal who will snuggle with you and not move a muscle for hours. Without having told them that this is my nickname for my dog, they ended up using the same exact nickname...and he is certainly a mush too (only twice as big as my dog - and my dog is large).



The funeral was nice. Despite the cold and snow, many people made the treck to say "goodbye". I saw family I haven't seen in many, many years.

After the funeral, I returned to spend a couple of days in Manhattan with my Mom (who flew in for the funeral), sister, brother-in-law and our one-year-old nephew.

Due to the distance, I haven't really spent any considerable time with my nephew, so this was a good chance to get to know him. My sister and her husband both work high-power jobs, so my nephew spends most of his time with an amazing nanny. I never would have believed it unless I saw it with my own two eyes, but the entire four days I was visiting, my nephew cried less than one minute total. He is a very, very happy baby and so well-behaved. He even had a lingering cold, and still wasn't cranky. Spending this time with them has taught me that when our children arrive, it's going to be extremely important to keep them on a schedule.

He isn't talking yet, but it's very clear that he fully uunderstands what you're saying. If you ask him to get a book, he'll go to his room and retrieve a book. If he's sitting on the window ledge and you say "feet first," he'll turn around and climb down with his feet first. If he's playing with a puzzle and you say "green turtle" or "gold fish", he'll pick up the correct piece  and put it in it's place (yes, he's only 14-months).

I also got to see two Broadway shows - Spiderman, which I thought was overrated, and Driving Miss Daisy (with Vanessa Redgrave and James Earl Jones) which was incredible. To see these two legends together was a once-in-a lifetime experience. I wish it could have gone on and on and on...