What is Love?

Back in the 80's, Howard Jones posed the question "What is Loooooooovvvveee Anyway?" Every now and then, we have one of those "ah-ha" moments and today I would like to share one with you. Believe it or not, it's not even about the Twinks!

A number of years ago, a friend asked my husband and I to join a bowling league with her and her husband. Not only was it an excuse to get out of the house, but it was something we found we enjoyed doing together. When we moved to Denver, we did not know anyone - so we joined a league again. They matched us up with a 19-year old boy who also liked to bowl and didn't have a team either. After a few weeks, he said his mom wanted to join us to.

Fast forward four years and she has become one of my very best friends. No, more like family. I know that we have a standing invitation to her house on Christmas Eve and she was one of my biggest cheerleaders during our IF struggles. It's like an angel brought her into my life.

Her son (who I'll call Jake) was 20 when he started dating a 19-year-old single mom with a two-year-old daughter. Both my friend and I were quite upset. Like most women our age, we immediately jumped to conclusions about this girl and her intentions (and I can honestly say, they weren't complimentary). Personally, my fear was that she would get pregnant again and, since Jake tires of girls pretty quickly, here would be another baby with no daddy.

Now that two years have passed, I am surprised by how life has played out.

Jake has accepted responsibility for his girlfriend's daughter and loves her more than life itself. He talks about all the fun times they have together and how he can't wait until next year, when she'll be old enough to start to learn to snowboard. He takes her to school, plays with her in the park, is teaching her to throw a baseball and kisses her to sleep. He has really stepped-up to the challenge and, even though they are not married, have become a family that I think will be inseparable for a long, long time.

This past Christmas, I needed a nanny for Thursdays and I knew his girlfriend did this work on the side. I still held some of my biases, but I also knew that my friend got to know her better and I saw how good she was with her own daughter. To me it was less risky than hiring someone blind off the Internet. Also, knowing I would be home (but working), put my mind at ease a bit.

Over the past few months, I have gotten to know her much better and have since done a complete 180. I won't go into the details here, but it's suffice to say that the childhood her and her eight half-brothers and sisters experienced could easily be one of those stories that makes news headlines. I am sure Child Protective Services knew their house well, very well.

On Wednesday, I received a call from my friend to tell me the little girl was with her and my "Thursday nanny" was in the hospital with EColi. She had eaten some bad pork and it was pretty serious. She is going to be ok, but she may be in the hospital through the weekend before they will allow her to come home.

Last night I went to see her and tears started streaming down her face. Her boyfriend is out of town for work for the month and, aside from her daughter and my friend (who has become more like a mother to her than her own mother) she has no one. She was so touched that I came.

Yes...this is love.