The Next Time You Go to Costco

On Monday, we took the twinks to the pediatrician for their six-month checkup. I'll write more about that later, but in summary:

- The twinks are both doing great - developing as they should
- They are both close to 16 lbs. G weighs a bit more than F - I would have never believed it!
- F is in the 25% - 50% for height, weight, head circumference. G is in the 50-75% - again, a surprise.

They had their six-months shots - four pokes in all. They handled it pretty well - a little crying afterwards, but calm and happy again within minutes.

When they went in for their four-month shots, I mentioned to the pedi that they both slept most of the day and through the night, but starting on the second night, G woke up multiple times during the night for the next six nights. My DH claims that he has that inherited "I can't hear them" gift - while I hear the first whimper (which is usually a full-force, all out, bloody scream). When I asked if there was anything I can do, the pedi said she thought it was a coincidence and it probably wasn't caused by the shots. Please excuse me, but that's a bunch of baloney (and not even Oscar Meyer)!

Last night, the Twinks double-teamed me. If one wasn't hysterical, the other one was.

I cuddled, rocked, fed, offered frozen fruit, administered baby Tylenol, took them outside for some fresh air and show them the moon (sure the neighbors appreciated that one)...no matter what I did, neither of the Twinks would calm down.

By the time 4 am rolled around, I tried once more, then said to myself (because little ones pick up so much)"to he!! with it...we're having breakfast"...so we did. Even their VERY favorite - applesauce, straight up, didn't offer relief.

I know it's not personal, but having my babies in misery and failing to calm them down made me feel like a parental failure - even knowing that it's an after-affect of the vaccines.

I also did something that was terribly humbling - emailed my boss to tell her I was coming in late because I had to get some sleep to function. Yes, I could have lied, but that's not my nature. Maybe I made a mistake by being so candid?

People have asked if going back to work was easy. The honest answer is NO.

Yes, I love what I do, but I also dread the "goodbyes" on the days I come into the office. I drag them out until the very last minute (and often beyond).

This weekend, I was honestly thinking about applying for a cashier job at Costco. It's one of my favorite stores, being a general merchandise buyer (or whatever they call the "crap" section in the middle of the store that's filled with clothes, books, movies, seasonal items and other stuff that makes our lives complete) would be so much fun, and the job would be one that I likely wouldn't take home with me.

The danger is that Costco, to me, is addictive.

As soon as I start wheeling my oversized cart down those wide aisles doing my best to avoid all the patrons in their "golden years" who have blinders on when maneuvering to get to the sample ladies before their tray is picked clean (because there might not EVER be any more samples coming), I get a glazed-over look and go into a zombie-like state.

Instead of Extreme Couponing, if there were a show about crazy-stupid Costco patrons, I'd be a shoe-in!

There is no question I would spend my WHOLE PAYCHECK because every time I find stuff I can't live without. That 12-pack of Kenyan Killer-Bug Killer - it's mine, mine, mine! That 120 count of dental floss - what a great idea, we'll never be without! Since we don't raise our own chickens, why not purchase seventy-two dozen organic eggs? I can never remember if we have enough laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, Snapple, Crystal Light, sandwich bags, tin foil (and I am too lazy or forget to check before I leave the house) - so, let's get another package in addition to the gross already stored in our garage!

Now that we have the mini-van, it's even more of a curse because there's always room for more, right?!

Oh...and the samples. Let's not even go there...

So, don't be surprised if, very soon, I trade my business suits and high-heels for jeans, a vest and a red-and-white name tag where I proudly display my achievement stars.