A friend sent me this yesterday. It's beautiful:
http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters
Athough in my case, I would have some to add, such as:
1. Always kiss her good night, even when she thinks she's getting too old.
2. Teach her to play Dungeons & Dragons - Not only does it spur her imagination, but it will keep her out of bars when she's old enough to drink.
3. Show her the world - From a very early age, she should know that the Eiffel Tower is NOT in Disneyland or Las Vegas. She should never be in another country and ask "Do you talk American?" (which I actually heard a 20-something girl ask a waiter on our last trip to Italy).
4. Just like you do with Mom, tell her she looks beautiful after she gets dressed in the morning. Don't say it every day - but do say it when it's true and she'll trust you on this.
5. Let her make the "not so important" decisions. Who cares if purple, brown and turquoise don't match? She's a girl, she's going to look adorable anyway. It won't kill you to share a dinner of spaghetti with a side of macaroni-and-cheese for one meal in your life.
6. Sometimes she's just got to learn things the hard way, like why we don't wear sandals in the snow.
7. Get Outside - Dance in the rain. Taste the wind on your face. Build a snowman. Play in the mud. Bask in the sunshine (but don't forget the sunscreen).
8. Kill the Bugs Inside For Her - Enjoy it while you can, because someday this will be the role of her husband.
9. Laugh With Her - Even at the stupidest of jokes. You'll build her confidence.
10. Remember she will always have only one Daddy - you!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Few of My Favorite Things - Hospital and Beyond
This weekend, the Twinks will turn four months old. Now that I've had a chance to "test drive" some of the things I bought, I thought I would share some of the items I really like:
Peg Perego Baby Planner - If you are early in your pregnancy, this is worth the $3.95 shipping. It is different from other baby planning books in that it's not a "diary", but rater a very practical book of information and checklists - such as what to ask when looking for a pediatrician, when hiring a nanny, what to pack in your hospital bag, etc. I didn't find this book until almost at the end of my pregnancy, but wish I had come across it sooner.
Things to Pack in Your Hospital Bag for Delivery
Pumping Bra - You definitely want to be sure to pack one of these in your hospital bag, as holding the pumping cups to your breasts for 10-15 minutes every 3 hours is bor-ring. Someone suggested buying a cheap sports bra and cutting holes in it. Great idea!
Lip Balm - Maybe it's the change in your body's chemistry or just our dry air out here, but I appreciated having lip balm with me.
Ear Plugs / Eye Shades - Don't worry, you'll still hear the babies cry.
Fluffy Robe / Slippers - Much better than scooting around the halls in a hospital gown.
Camera with Charged Batteries - This may sound obvious, but I almost forgot mine.
iPad / MP3 Player - You will have some down time (not much, but a little).
Feeding
Dr. Browns Bottles - Yes, they do have more parts to wash, but my babies have done well on them. At four months, my babies are still eating every 3 hours. So, if you are having twins and don't want to be doing "baby dishes" constantly, buy at least 18 of these (they come in packs of 3). Since my twins moved to the 8 ounce bottles at about 10 weeks, I would skip buying the 4 ounce bottles and go straight to the 8 oz. ones - just fill them less.
Dr. Browns Microwave Sanitizer - This is much faster than my counter top model and holds much more.
The First Years MiSwivel Chair - This is some of the best money we've spent. You can purchase this chair for less than $50 at some Wal-Marts or online (just do a google search for "MiSwivel" on the Wal-Mart site). The chair has a five-point harness and reclines about 30 degrees. The cushions are reversible (good to tell them apart if you have twins and purchase two). With removable cushions and straps (that I throw in the wash) and a plastic base, it is a breeze to clean. Love it, love it, love it!
Bibs - My little girl pukes - lots. So, for her I prefer the Tommee Tippee "Closer to Nature" ones but they're costly. When buying bibs, I would recommend buying the plastic-backed ones because the ones that are just terry cloth tend to leak through.
Munchkin Bottle Warmer - When I got home from the hospital, I was microwaving water and letting the bottles sit to warm. I quickly learned that when my little girl wants her bottle, she wants it NOW!!! This bottle warmer takes about two minutes - still not fast enough for her, but faster than the hot-water-microwave method.
Sleeping
SwaddleDesigns Ultimate Receiving Blanket - These were a gift from a best friend who has three kids. I swaddle my twins in these 100% cotton fleece blankets every night. I like them much better than the Aden & Anis blankets because they are just as large (47 X 47) and stay closed. These are a must-have! (Note - the link is only to one design. Search on Amazon and you'll find more designs and colors).
Gerber Zippered Sleep-n-Plays - You can find these at Target in adorable prints for boys and girls. Some babies are allergic to synthetic fabrics. By dressing my babies in these all-cotton sleep-n-plays, I didn't run that risk. Personally, I prefer zippers to snaps because I find them easier, but I know some parents prefer snaps - your choice. They are inexpensive (less than $15 for 3) and hold up well wash-after-wash.
Rain Forest Mobile / Brilliant Basics Mobile - Do NOT buy the wind-up mobiles that match your bedding - total waste of money because they stay on for less than two minutes. Invest in a mobile that you can use for years to come. My son has the Rain Forest Mobile and thinks it's the best thing on the planet. He can stare at it for an hour and not get bored. My daughter has the Brilliant Basics one. They both run for about 10 minutes before shutting off and the "mobile" on both detach so that it becomes a music box for when the kids get older. I prefer the Rain Forest one because it has a light - so it's easier to see at night.
Clothes
Sleep Sacks - I bought a bunch of Halo newborn sleep sacks and within two months, my twins had already outgrown them. My advice here is that you will probably be doing laundry every day or two, so don't buy too many like I did (or buy them used).
Circo Socks - These are sold at Target for about $1 per pair and they are the only socks that will stay on my twins feet.
Zutano Booties - Yes, expensive (about $20 / pair), but oh so cute...and they stay on their feet.
Health & Beauty
Baby Comfy Nose & Saline Nose Drops - This should be at the top of your list. It's a little plastic bulb that allows you to clean your baby's nose. Much better than the bulbs they give you at the hospital. I use it all the time.
Mustella Baby Wash - It smells oh so good!
Aquafor Baby - Yes, it's greasy, but it's keep their skin soft and smooth.
Hope this gets some of you started on your registry lists!
Peg Perego Baby Planner - If you are early in your pregnancy, this is worth the $3.95 shipping. It is different from other baby planning books in that it's not a "diary", but rater a very practical book of information and checklists - such as what to ask when looking for a pediatrician, when hiring a nanny, what to pack in your hospital bag, etc. I didn't find this book until almost at the end of my pregnancy, but wish I had come across it sooner.
Things to Pack in Your Hospital Bag for Delivery
Pumping Bra - You definitely want to be sure to pack one of these in your hospital bag, as holding the pumping cups to your breasts for 10-15 minutes every 3 hours is bor-ring. Someone suggested buying a cheap sports bra and cutting holes in it. Great idea!
Lip Balm - Maybe it's the change in your body's chemistry or just our dry air out here, but I appreciated having lip balm with me.
Ear Plugs / Eye Shades - Don't worry, you'll still hear the babies cry.
Fluffy Robe / Slippers - Much better than scooting around the halls in a hospital gown.
Camera with Charged Batteries - This may sound obvious, but I almost forgot mine.
iPad / MP3 Player - You will have some down time (not much, but a little).
Feeding
Dr. Browns Bottles - Yes, they do have more parts to wash, but my babies have done well on them. At four months, my babies are still eating every 3 hours. So, if you are having twins and don't want to be doing "baby dishes" constantly, buy at least 18 of these (they come in packs of 3). Since my twins moved to the 8 ounce bottles at about 10 weeks, I would skip buying the 4 ounce bottles and go straight to the 8 oz. ones - just fill them less.
Dr. Browns Microwave Sanitizer - This is much faster than my counter top model and holds much more.
The First Years MiSwivel Chair - This is some of the best money we've spent. You can purchase this chair for less than $50 at some Wal-Marts or online (just do a google search for "MiSwivel" on the Wal-Mart site). The chair has a five-point harness and reclines about 30 degrees. The cushions are reversible (good to tell them apart if you have twins and purchase two). With removable cushions and straps (that I throw in the wash) and a plastic base, it is a breeze to clean. Love it, love it, love it!
Bibs - My little girl pukes - lots. So, for her I prefer the Tommee Tippee "Closer to Nature" ones but they're costly. When buying bibs, I would recommend buying the plastic-backed ones because the ones that are just terry cloth tend to leak through.
Munchkin Bottle Warmer - When I got home from the hospital, I was microwaving water and letting the bottles sit to warm. I quickly learned that when my little girl wants her bottle, she wants it NOW!!! This bottle warmer takes about two minutes - still not fast enough for her, but faster than the hot-water-microwave method.
Sleeping
SwaddleDesigns Ultimate Receiving Blanket - These were a gift from a best friend who has three kids. I swaddle my twins in these 100% cotton fleece blankets every night. I like them much better than the Aden & Anis blankets because they are just as large (47 X 47) and stay closed. These are a must-have! (Note - the link is only to one design. Search on Amazon and you'll find more designs and colors).
Gerber Zippered Sleep-n-Plays - You can find these at Target in adorable prints for boys and girls. Some babies are allergic to synthetic fabrics. By dressing my babies in these all-cotton sleep-n-plays, I didn't run that risk. Personally, I prefer zippers to snaps because I find them easier, but I know some parents prefer snaps - your choice. They are inexpensive (less than $15 for 3) and hold up well wash-after-wash.
Rain Forest Mobile / Brilliant Basics Mobile - Do NOT buy the wind-up mobiles that match your bedding - total waste of money because they stay on for less than two minutes. Invest in a mobile that you can use for years to come. My son has the Rain Forest Mobile and thinks it's the best thing on the planet. He can stare at it for an hour and not get bored. My daughter has the Brilliant Basics one. They both run for about 10 minutes before shutting off and the "mobile" on both detach so that it becomes a music box for when the kids get older. I prefer the Rain Forest one because it has a light - so it's easier to see at night.
Clothes
Sleep Sacks - I bought a bunch of Halo newborn sleep sacks and within two months, my twins had already outgrown them. My advice here is that you will probably be doing laundry every day or two, so don't buy too many like I did (or buy them used).
Circo Socks - These are sold at Target for about $1 per pair and they are the only socks that will stay on my twins feet.
Zutano Booties - Yes, expensive (about $20 / pair), but oh so cute...and they stay on their feet.
Health & Beauty
Baby Comfy Nose & Saline Nose Drops - This should be at the top of your list. It's a little plastic bulb that allows you to clean your baby's nose. Much better than the bulbs they give you at the hospital. I use it all the time.
Mustella Baby Wash - It smells oh so good!
Aquafor Baby - Yes, it's greasy, but it's keep their skin soft and smooth.
Hope this gets some of you started on your registry lists!
Monday, March 5, 2012
Do I Want to Know? Nope...No Way
In her blog this week, Lisa brings up a very good question. If our donor donated again, would I want to know so that our kids could get in touch with their "dwblings"? (Love the new word Lisa - thanks!)
http://wantedonegoodembryo.blogspot.com/2012/03/one-particularly-itchin-donor-question.html
In my case, the answer is clear...no.
As DE patients, I think many of us women want to romanticize our donor's lives. We picture them as 20-somethings who are educated, intelligent, beautiful, talented, dress in the latest fashion, drive nice cars, have clean-cut boyfriends or husbands...you get the idea.
Having been a patient of CCRM's for two years and gone through countless appointments, I have seen the reality while sitting in the waiting room. Yes, some of the women definitely fit the mold described above, but others look like they rolled out of bed and drove over from the trailer park. Let's face it...to a young woman with mounting bills, $5,000 compensation each time she donates her eggs helps.
In our case, I do not feel a strong connection with our donor. To put it bluntly, she wanted the money and we needed young, viable eggs - it was strictly a business deal. Since she was only 24, ended up having such a strong cycle for us, and didn't have OHSS (at least we were never asked to pay for any OHSS treatments), I would assume she donated again. In fact, I would be very surprised to find out if she hadn't.
Why, then, do I feel so strongly that if we donate our embryos, I would like to keep some kind of contact with the couple we donate them to?
I am pretty sure it's because I would always wonder if we made the right decision. I certainly would respect that they are no longer "our" kids, but I'd also constantly think - Are the kids loved more than life itself? Nurtured? Supported in their goals and dreams? Given guidance without too much discipline?
Then there's the physical side too - Do they "practice ballerina moves" or squawk like my daughter does when she's hungry? Do they smile from ear-to-ear or point their index finger like my son does when he grabs his bib or a toy?
I also believe that when a couple makes the sacrifices required to go through IVF or adoption- both emotionally and financially - they have a perspective that parents who got pregnant "the natural way" can never comprehend. Please don't misunderstand - I don't mean to imply they love or appreciate their children any less, I just think it's a different perspective that comes from having a unique experience.
A Review of the Weekend
Before I leave, just wanted to share a bit about my weekend...
Saturday started with a bottle and then a bath for each of the babies. Since they are still small enough and it's easier for me, I've still been bathing them in the bathroom sink. As soon as I lowered my son into his "hot tub" he leaned back and spread his arms wide over the sides of the basin. Ahhh...I could almost hear him say.
I took the kids to Saturday morning Minyan - an intimate, lay-led service (although ours has grown recently to where about 40 people attend on a regular basis) - where the Twins are loved by just about everyone there. People jockey to hold them for the 90-minute service. It was fun for me because I was sitting in the back row and the gentleman holding my son was two rows in front of me. When I am holding my son, I can't see him, but when someone else is, I get to look into his eyes and see his face. It's so special.
After that, one of our local twins clubs was having it's sale - so I headed over. I found a new bouncy seat and went a little crazy shopping for G. The spring dresses were so adorable and I found a pair of pink and purple "Princess" Robeez that she just had to have!
This time, there wasn't much in the way of clothes for F, but the larger twins club is having their sale this Friday - so I am sure there will be more stuff there.
Later in the day, we attached the bars to the twins' play mat for the first time. It's only been within the last couple of weeks that they've started to realize their legs are attached and they can kick them.
Even though neither twin has connected holding their bottle with feeding yet, it took them less than five minutes to connect that kicking the toys would make the animals "sing" and move. They were clearly having so much fun - jibber-jabbering to the toys and smiling most time they kicked hard enough to turn on the toys. They aren't quite giggling yet, but I don't think we're too far from that.
Yesterday the weather was beautiful, so in the afternoon my friend, her daughter, me, the Twinks and all our dogs (five among us) went for a walk around the lake. At one point, a gust of wind hit G in her face and she just didn't know what to do with it. At first she spread her arms, waved them in a startled panic, then she tried to taste the wind by sticking out her tongue. Finally, she realized it was ok and just smiled. I wish I could have put that moment in a bottle and saved it for ever and ever.
http://wantedonegoodembryo.blogspot.com/2012/03/one-particularly-itchin-donor-question.html
In my case, the answer is clear...no.
As DE patients, I think many of us women want to romanticize our donor's lives. We picture them as 20-somethings who are educated, intelligent, beautiful, talented, dress in the latest fashion, drive nice cars, have clean-cut boyfriends or husbands...you get the idea.
Having been a patient of CCRM's for two years and gone through countless appointments, I have seen the reality while sitting in the waiting room. Yes, some of the women definitely fit the mold described above, but others look like they rolled out of bed and drove over from the trailer park. Let's face it...to a young woman with mounting bills, $5,000 compensation each time she donates her eggs helps.
In our case, I do not feel a strong connection with our donor. To put it bluntly, she wanted the money and we needed young, viable eggs - it was strictly a business deal. Since she was only 24, ended up having such a strong cycle for us, and didn't have OHSS (at least we were never asked to pay for any OHSS treatments), I would assume she donated again. In fact, I would be very surprised to find out if she hadn't.
Why, then, do I feel so strongly that if we donate our embryos, I would like to keep some kind of contact with the couple we donate them to?
I am pretty sure it's because I would always wonder if we made the right decision. I certainly would respect that they are no longer "our" kids, but I'd also constantly think - Are the kids loved more than life itself? Nurtured? Supported in their goals and dreams? Given guidance without too much discipline?
Then there's the physical side too - Do they "practice ballerina moves" or squawk like my daughter does when she's hungry? Do they smile from ear-to-ear or point their index finger like my son does when he grabs his bib or a toy?
I also believe that when a couple makes the sacrifices required to go through IVF or adoption- both emotionally and financially - they have a perspective that parents who got pregnant "the natural way" can never comprehend. Please don't misunderstand - I don't mean to imply they love or appreciate their children any less, I just think it's a different perspective that comes from having a unique experience.
A Review of the Weekend
Before I leave, just wanted to share a bit about my weekend...
Saturday started with a bottle and then a bath for each of the babies. Since they are still small enough and it's easier for me, I've still been bathing them in the bathroom sink. As soon as I lowered my son into his "hot tub" he leaned back and spread his arms wide over the sides of the basin. Ahhh...I could almost hear him say.
I took the kids to Saturday morning Minyan - an intimate, lay-led service (although ours has grown recently to where about 40 people attend on a regular basis) - where the Twins are loved by just about everyone there. People jockey to hold them for the 90-minute service. It was fun for me because I was sitting in the back row and the gentleman holding my son was two rows in front of me. When I am holding my son, I can't see him, but when someone else is, I get to look into his eyes and see his face. It's so special.
After that, one of our local twins clubs was having it's sale - so I headed over. I found a new bouncy seat and went a little crazy shopping for G. The spring dresses were so adorable and I found a pair of pink and purple "Princess" Robeez that she just had to have!
"Sugar Plum" in her "new" bouncy seat and princess shoes. Tired herself out by practicing her ballet.
This time, there wasn't much in the way of clothes for F, but the larger twins club is having their sale this Friday - so I am sure there will be more stuff there.
Later in the day, we attached the bars to the twins' play mat for the first time. It's only been within the last couple of weeks that they've started to realize their legs are attached and they can kick them.
Even though neither twin has connected holding their bottle with feeding yet, it took them less than five minutes to connect that kicking the toys would make the animals "sing" and move. They were clearly having so much fun - jibber-jabbering to the toys and smiling most time they kicked hard enough to turn on the toys. They aren't quite giggling yet, but I don't think we're too far from that.
Yesterday the weather was beautiful, so in the afternoon my friend, her daughter, me, the Twinks and all our dogs (five among us) went for a walk around the lake. At one point, a gust of wind hit G in her face and she just didn't know what to do with it. At first she spread her arms, waved them in a startled panic, then she tried to taste the wind by sticking out her tongue. Finally, she realized it was ok and just smiled. I wish I could have put that moment in a bottle and saved it for ever and ever.
Friday, March 2, 2012
An Awesome Responsibility
When we started our DE cycle, there were so many unknowns. Would the donor take her meds as prescribed (she "lost" a pack of birth control pills that we were asked to replace), would she produce a high number of follicles, would the follicles fertilize and become embryos, would the embryos thrive enough to transfer, would we have embryos to freeze?
As anyone who has been through this process knows, past success does not guarantee future success. I've read posts of women who went with a proven donor whose donated multiple times to only end up with none, one or two viable embryos. In our case, the donor was young (24) had three children of her own (and one miscarriage), but never donated before.
Somehow, we lucked out on all accounts. Our donor had 42 follicles, 28 mature eggs, and in the end we ended up with 17 viable embryos.
We transferred two in our first cycle and three in our second cycle (which resulted in our twins), so we now have 12 embryos sitting in the freezer.
When we started our cycle, they asked us what we wanted to do with any extra embryos. At the time, it was akin to asking, "What would you like to eat for your first meal when you take a vacation to Mars in 2090?" It was such a far-fetched question that we could hardly fathom being in that position - so we checked some boxes on the paperwork and merrily rolled along.
Now that the trip to Mars has become reality - we hit the Powerball jackpot of life and are done building our family. So, what to do with the embryos?
We know our embryos are very viable and it seems a shame to destroy them or donate them to science. Having lived through this experience, my DH and I agree that we would like to donate our embryos to give another couple (or two) the chance to become parents.
We could donate them through our RE's program - but they insist on the donation being completely anonymous and I'm not comfortable with that. Ideally, I'd like to know if my kids have siblings and, in a perfect world, maybe even have all the kids have some type of relationship.
Anyway, shortly after New Year's we started to look for a deserving couple and have been flooded with responses. It's been so overwhelming that I've been unable to make a decision, done nothing, and am feeling extremely guilty. As an IVF patient, I know how many hurdles you have to jump through...and I've only delayed the process for a child coming into the world.
I've received emails from a wide variety of potential recipients - single parents, same-sex couples, a couple who have their MBAs from Harvard, couples who are in their very late 40's whose timeline is near the end, a young woman who has agreed to be a recipient for her sister and brother-in-law, couples with dogs who want to start families, couples who have lots of nieces and nephews, couples who come from small families, couples who love to travel, couples from large cities, couples from small towns, couples who live overseas - you name it, we've received it.
My husband is pretty much willing to go with whatever I decide, but I feel overwhelmed.
This is a huge responsibility and now I am starting to waffle. What if I make the wrong decision? Would I really be better not knowing the recipients? Would we be better not donating at all?
I realize no one has a crystal ball or can tell the future, but I do have some strong opinions, such as a couple who has no other children and has been married for many years.
I wish I could know that the kids would be raised by a couple who is fully committed to one another and will continue to have a wonderful relationship throughout the kids' lifetimes. Being wealthy is not a requirement, but being financially stable and savvy is. To me, I would rather give our kids "experiences" (such as the opportunity to travel) vs. stuff, and I would hope that any couple I select would have similar values. Education is important to us, but if I select a couple with Ivy League educations, will the pressure on the kids be too much? So many unknowns.
Am I opening a Pandora's box that should remain shut?
Oh decisions, decisions, decisions...
As anyone who has been through this process knows, past success does not guarantee future success. I've read posts of women who went with a proven donor whose donated multiple times to only end up with none, one or two viable embryos. In our case, the donor was young (24) had three children of her own (and one miscarriage), but never donated before.
Somehow, we lucked out on all accounts. Our donor had 42 follicles, 28 mature eggs, and in the end we ended up with 17 viable embryos.
We transferred two in our first cycle and three in our second cycle (which resulted in our twins), so we now have 12 embryos sitting in the freezer.
When we started our cycle, they asked us what we wanted to do with any extra embryos. At the time, it was akin to asking, "What would you like to eat for your first meal when you take a vacation to Mars in 2090?" It was such a far-fetched question that we could hardly fathom being in that position - so we checked some boxes on the paperwork and merrily rolled along.
Now that the trip to Mars has become reality - we hit the Powerball jackpot of life and are done building our family. So, what to do with the embryos?
We know our embryos are very viable and it seems a shame to destroy them or donate them to science. Having lived through this experience, my DH and I agree that we would like to donate our embryos to give another couple (or two) the chance to become parents.
We could donate them through our RE's program - but they insist on the donation being completely anonymous and I'm not comfortable with that. Ideally, I'd like to know if my kids have siblings and, in a perfect world, maybe even have all the kids have some type of relationship.
Anyway, shortly after New Year's we started to look for a deserving couple and have been flooded with responses. It's been so overwhelming that I've been unable to make a decision, done nothing, and am feeling extremely guilty. As an IVF patient, I know how many hurdles you have to jump through...and I've only delayed the process for a child coming into the world.
I've received emails from a wide variety of potential recipients - single parents, same-sex couples, a couple who have their MBAs from Harvard, couples who are in their very late 40's whose timeline is near the end, a young woman who has agreed to be a recipient for her sister and brother-in-law, couples with dogs who want to start families, couples who have lots of nieces and nephews, couples who come from small families, couples who love to travel, couples from large cities, couples from small towns, couples who live overseas - you name it, we've received it.
My husband is pretty much willing to go with whatever I decide, but I feel overwhelmed.
This is a huge responsibility and now I am starting to waffle. What if I make the wrong decision? Would I really be better not knowing the recipients? Would we be better not donating at all?
I realize no one has a crystal ball or can tell the future, but I do have some strong opinions, such as a couple who has no other children and has been married for many years.
I wish I could know that the kids would be raised by a couple who is fully committed to one another and will continue to have a wonderful relationship throughout the kids' lifetimes. Being wealthy is not a requirement, but being financially stable and savvy is. To me, I would rather give our kids "experiences" (such as the opportunity to travel) vs. stuff, and I would hope that any couple I select would have similar values. Education is important to us, but if I select a couple with Ivy League educations, will the pressure on the kids be too much? So many unknowns.
Am I opening a Pandora's box that should remain shut?
Oh decisions, decisions, decisions...
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Post From a Working Mother...
My husband and I collectively decided after the Twinkies were born that I would return to work.
Having lived through the tumultous economy over the past few years, being at the height of our careers, and seeing talented friends who have been out of work for extended periods of time, it's important to us to have the security knowing that if one of our jobs suddenly end, we will still have income coming in each month.
The one thing that has made returning to work palatable is that my boss obtained a special exception to allow me to work at home two days a week. Even though I don't have much snuggle time with the babies on those days, I do save two hours by not commuting, and I know they're right downstairs if I need to sneak a kiss (by the way, I'm testing the theory if you can kill your kids by kissing them too much...so far, so good).
I always thought that it would get easier the longer I worked, but yesterday during my morning commute, I started getting teary-eyed because I missed them so much. Does this ever end?
Even though F woke up at 5 am screaming like someone told him he would never get to eat ice cream his entire life, I didn't care...I scooped him up, hugged him tight, and assured him everything would be ok. Within 15 minutes, we were both asleep on the couch - his face smooshed against my chest, by his choice.
Since coming back after New Year's, I have been assigned to a project that has required commitment and overtime. Having these new "consultants" join our company will mean an additional $30 mm in revenue - so it's significant and high-profile.
Tonight, is the culmination of months of work. It's when the transfer becomes official. It doesn't mean that the work is done (it's actually probably just beginning), but it does mean that I will have to pull a near all-nighter and be back in the office early tomorrow morning to take care of damage control (there's sure to be something someone forgot along the way).
To ensure things go smoothly and I have the proper Internet bandwith, it's important for me to work from the office vs. home. Consequently, I decided to stay in a hotel tonight so I can get to bed as soon as possible and not have to commute an hour tomorrow.
While I know it's for the best for work and it's not a life-or-death situation, my heart aches to think I will be away from the Twinks for the night...sob, sob, sob.
They are now close to three months and I can't believe how much they've changed. They are just starting to play with toys and smiling like crazy! It's hard to be in a bad mood when you have such happy babies to greet you every morning.
Here are pictures I took on Sunday:
Having lived through the tumultous economy over the past few years, being at the height of our careers, and seeing talented friends who have been out of work for extended periods of time, it's important to us to have the security knowing that if one of our jobs suddenly end, we will still have income coming in each month.
The one thing that has made returning to work palatable is that my boss obtained a special exception to allow me to work at home two days a week. Even though I don't have much snuggle time with the babies on those days, I do save two hours by not commuting, and I know they're right downstairs if I need to sneak a kiss (by the way, I'm testing the theory if you can kill your kids by kissing them too much...so far, so good).
I always thought that it would get easier the longer I worked, but yesterday during my morning commute, I started getting teary-eyed because I missed them so much. Does this ever end?
Even though F woke up at 5 am screaming like someone told him he would never get to eat ice cream his entire life, I didn't care...I scooped him up, hugged him tight, and assured him everything would be ok. Within 15 minutes, we were both asleep on the couch - his face smooshed against my chest, by his choice.
Since coming back after New Year's, I have been assigned to a project that has required commitment and overtime. Having these new "consultants" join our company will mean an additional $30 mm in revenue - so it's significant and high-profile.
Tonight, is the culmination of months of work. It's when the transfer becomes official. It doesn't mean that the work is done (it's actually probably just beginning), but it does mean that I will have to pull a near all-nighter and be back in the office early tomorrow morning to take care of damage control (there's sure to be something someone forgot along the way).
To ensure things go smoothly and I have the proper Internet bandwith, it's important for me to work from the office vs. home. Consequently, I decided to stay in a hotel tonight so I can get to bed as soon as possible and not have to commute an hour tomorrow.
While I know it's for the best for work and it's not a life-or-death situation, my heart aches to think I will be away from the Twinks for the night...sob, sob, sob.
They are now close to three months and I can't believe how much they've changed. They are just starting to play with toys and smiling like crazy! It's hard to be in a bad mood when you have such happy babies to greet you every morning.
Here are pictures I took on Sunday:
Oooooo...ahhhhh...look at that!
In my surfer-dude shirt and overalls - all ready to go sunbathing!
Sheer bliss!
Outfit #2 on Sunday
Outfit #4 on Sunday
Sunday, February 19, 2012
If Only They Knew...
We dropped off our van yesterday to get a Bluetooth installed. Instead of waiting at the installation place, we decided to go to lunch, so we went to a salad buffet to kill the two hours.
As we ate and fed the Twinks, about a dozen people stopped by our table
to tell us how cute they were and pity us by telling us how hard it must be having two. One older woman even said she didn't have Grandchildren and she'd love to volunteer.
As I was coming back from the restroom from changing Twink 2, a party at a large table stopped me. It took my brain a minute, but it finally registered the three beautiful red-headed, fully freckled kids looking at us who were about eleven sharing lunch with their parents. The two boys looked like identical twins and their sister was stunning. They asked me how old the twinks were and how much they weighed. When I said three months and close to eleven or twelve pounds, you could see that the kids' heads couldn't picture themselves as 4 lb newborn triplets.
The wonderful thing about this family is how a stranger could immediately tell how much they enjoyed their triplets and how they assured me having multiples only gets easier.
Little did they know that EVERYTHING I do for the babies is out of sheer joy.
I honestly believe that when you work so hard and sacrifice so much to make such a wonderful dream come true, you have an entirely different perspective when you hear that scream night-after-night at 3 am.
Yes, there is ALWAYS a load of laundry to wash, dry and fold, baby dishes to hand wash and sanitize, a mouth to feed, a diaper to change, formula to mix, errands to run.
Know what makes it all worth it? This:
As we ate and fed the Twinks, about a dozen people stopped by our table
to tell us how cute they were and pity us by telling us how hard it must be having two. One older woman even said she didn't have Grandchildren and she'd love to volunteer.
As I was coming back from the restroom from changing Twink 2, a party at a large table stopped me. It took my brain a minute, but it finally registered the three beautiful red-headed, fully freckled kids looking at us who were about eleven sharing lunch with their parents. The two boys looked like identical twins and their sister was stunning. They asked me how old the twinks were and how much they weighed. When I said three months and close to eleven or twelve pounds, you could see that the kids' heads couldn't picture themselves as 4 lb newborn triplets.
The wonderful thing about this family is how a stranger could immediately tell how much they enjoyed their triplets and how they assured me having multiples only gets easier.
Little did they know that EVERYTHING I do for the babies is out of sheer joy.
I honestly believe that when you work so hard and sacrifice so much to make such a wonderful dream come true, you have an entirely different perspective when you hear that scream night-after-night at 3 am.
Yes, there is ALWAYS a load of laundry to wash, dry and fold, baby dishes to hand wash and sanitize, a mouth to feed, a diaper to change, formula to mix, errands to run.
Know what makes it all worth it? This:
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A Valentine's Day Post
When you go through infertility treatments and eventually have kids, your whole perspective on time changes. Instead of "another year gone by", you mark your time by events based on your infertility calendar.
February 14, 2011 was the day I started taking drugs to gear up for my very last cycle. As I broke open the medication pack, I knew it was now or never. I thought it was a good sign that I was starting this last cycle on Valentine's Day, but also didn't want to read too much into it.
I knew I was in for another few months of ups-and-downs. Days living by the alarm on my cell phone reminding me it was time to take another dose of medication, mood swings, moments filled with hope followed by others full of doubt.
I never could have dreamed that I would be holding my son and daughter by November (it still feels amazing and strange to type those words - MY SON AND DAUGHTER - sort of like I am living someone else's life).
Now, every two-and-a-half to three hours, instead of hearing the piano riff of my cell phone telling me it's time for another dose of meds, I hear the whimpers (no, more like screams) of G telling me she's hungry. She still isn't convinced that I haven't forgotten about her. If you were a stranger who came to my door when it's time for a feeding, you might think I never fed her.
F, who was the one always "lounging in his hot tub" in my uterus, is still his mellow, happy self. He has figured out how to smile and has the cutest toothless grin. His favorite game is to hear me count to three and smile. Sometimes he can't wait that long and smiles on "1" or "2". Other times, he puts on a scowl (and knows he's doing it) just to be funny.
He has been sleeping through the night since late January. Some tips that I think helped both of them sleep:
1. Dress them in 100% cotton before going to bed
2. Put on a night time diaper (I didn't even know there was such a thing until I bought them accidentally one day)
3. Swaddle them in a SwaddleDesigns blanket. I like these blankets better than the Aden and Anis because they stay closed when baby is swaddled.
4. "Charge their batteries" by cluster feeding them in the last four hours before bed. In other words, smaller bottles, more frequently.
Now that he is three months old, he is just starting to realize his hands are attached to his body. Last night, he grabbed his toy for the first time and pulled it toward his mouth. He also is starting to "coo" more frequently and has one sound that sounds exactly like a high-pitched "Hi". I keep saying to him "F, can you say Hi?" And I swear that one day soon he is going to answer me.
G has also started to learn to smile, though no where near as frequently as her brother.
She is more fussy than her brother and does tend to wake up about every 3rd to 4th night.
Her hair has grown to the point where it can be styled. I asked our nanny to give her a bath the other day and came home from work to find this:
At least there weren't any piercings or tattoos (or none that I've found yet).
She doesn't seem to have colic, but she does spit up alot - so we switched her formula to Enfamil AD on Saturday. So far, no luck - she's still pukey. They did say it may take about a week for her to get used to the new formula though.
We finally went on our first evening "date" in three months without the kids - to see The Marriage of Figaro. I like the opera because every where you go nowadays, people dress casually. The opera is the one of the only places I know where people get dressed up to attend.
Is having twins tough? No, having ANY baby is tough and twins is no more challenging than one. As the parent of an infant, you have to be "on" 24X7. There's always something to do - baby laundry, baby dishes, shop for clothes because they're outgrowing the latest round so fast, purchase baby water and formula, feed a baby, burp a baby, change a baby.
When they have a meltdown and I know they've been fed, changed, and burped and there is nothing more I can do, I feel like a "bad parent." Then, for no apparent reason, they decide to go from 60 to 0 in 2.5 seconds and you know life is good once again.
Yes, they are still in the "blobby" stage where all they do pretty much is eat, sleep and poo. But, seeing how fast they are growing, I am not in a hurry to leave this stage any time soon. They are holding their heads up most of the time, but are not mobile yet (not even close to rolling over).
February 14, 2011 was the day I started taking drugs to gear up for my very last cycle. As I broke open the medication pack, I knew it was now or never. I thought it was a good sign that I was starting this last cycle on Valentine's Day, but also didn't want to read too much into it.
I knew I was in for another few months of ups-and-downs. Days living by the alarm on my cell phone reminding me it was time to take another dose of medication, mood swings, moments filled with hope followed by others full of doubt.
I never could have dreamed that I would be holding my son and daughter by November (it still feels amazing and strange to type those words - MY SON AND DAUGHTER - sort of like I am living someone else's life).
Now, every two-and-a-half to three hours, instead of hearing the piano riff of my cell phone telling me it's time for another dose of meds, I hear the whimpers (no, more like screams) of G telling me she's hungry. She still isn't convinced that I haven't forgotten about her. If you were a stranger who came to my door when it's time for a feeding, you might think I never fed her.
F, who was the one always "lounging in his hot tub" in my uterus, is still his mellow, happy self. He has figured out how to smile and has the cutest toothless grin. His favorite game is to hear me count to three and smile. Sometimes he can't wait that long and smiles on "1" or "2". Other times, he puts on a scowl (and knows he's doing it) just to be funny.
Playing 1-2-3 Smile
1. Dress them in 100% cotton before going to bed
2. Put on a night time diaper (I didn't even know there was such a thing until I bought them accidentally one day)
3. Swaddle them in a SwaddleDesigns blanket. I like these blankets better than the Aden and Anis because they stay closed when baby is swaddled.
4. "Charge their batteries" by cluster feeding them in the last four hours before bed. In other words, smaller bottles, more frequently.
Now that he is three months old, he is just starting to realize his hands are attached to his body. Last night, he grabbed his toy for the first time and pulled it toward his mouth. He also is starting to "coo" more frequently and has one sound that sounds exactly like a high-pitched "Hi". I keep saying to him "F, can you say Hi?" And I swear that one day soon he is going to answer me.
G has also started to learn to smile, though no where near as frequently as her brother.
She is more fussy than her brother and does tend to wake up about every 3rd to 4th night.
Her hair has grown to the point where it can be styled. I asked our nanny to give her a bath the other day and came home from work to find this:
At least there weren't any piercings or tattoos (or none that I've found yet).
She doesn't seem to have colic, but she does spit up alot - so we switched her formula to Enfamil AD on Saturday. So far, no luck - she's still pukey. They did say it may take about a week for her to get used to the new formula though.
We finally went on our first evening "date" in three months without the kids - to see The Marriage of Figaro. I like the opera because every where you go nowadays, people dress casually. The opera is the one of the only places I know where people get dressed up to attend.
Is having twins tough? No, having ANY baby is tough and twins is no more challenging than one. As the parent of an infant, you have to be "on" 24X7. There's always something to do - baby laundry, baby dishes, shop for clothes because they're outgrowing the latest round so fast, purchase baby water and formula, feed a baby, burp a baby, change a baby.
When they have a meltdown and I know they've been fed, changed, and burped and there is nothing more I can do, I feel like a "bad parent." Then, for no apparent reason, they decide to go from 60 to 0 in 2.5 seconds and you know life is good once again.
Yes, they are still in the "blobby" stage where all they do pretty much is eat, sleep and poo. But, seeing how fast they are growing, I am not in a hurry to leave this stage any time soon. They are holding their heads up most of the time, but are not mobile yet (not even close to rolling over).
The last year has been the best of my life and I wish I could do it all again (Did I really just say that?!).